


If They Ever

by KTKeen96



Series: Agent P. [1]
Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Eventual Romance, EvilScientist!Perry, M/M, human!perry, human!peter, mentions of abuse, mild swearing, well in his backstories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2018-04-03
Packaged: 2019-04-08 15:30:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 48
Words: 78,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14108439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KTKeen96/pseuds/KTKeen96
Summary: Perry takes a job as a server at a local restaurant. However, when he waits on an unexpected customer, it turns his whole world upside down. Will Perry be able to get his life back under control? And what is this new threat to Danville?





	1. Introduction

“Do you have the documents?”

_Tick, tick, tick._

Three clocks, synchronized in perfect precision, was the only other noise rising from the room. That, and the slight howling from the winter storm above caused a distracting creak to echo through the boarded walls.

A figure, cloaked and masked, lifted a briefcase and set it on the table. It landed was a thud in front of five seated figures, all dressed in lab coats.

The middle figure, a woman of abnormally small height, leaned over and opened the briefcase. Her stern gaze melted into a devious smile, and she shut the lid with confidence. The briefcase was set aside, and exchanged for another.

“Our payment, as promised.”

The cloaked figure didn’t say a word, but took what was his and left with a small bow.

The evil scientists cackled as the door shut, their laughter droning out Danville’s winter storm.

The woman stood. She smirked in front of her colleagues, and pulled out a loaded file from the briefcase. A small picture of a platypus in a fedora slipped from the file and fluttered to the table.

“Today is the beginning of the end, ladies and gentlemen. Very soon, O.W.C.A. will fall.”


	2. Chapter 2

Perry was in hot pursuit, and his blood boiled.

A truck carrying thousands of stolen dollars was flying down a vacant highway, while gunshots were spewing from the passenger seat. Somehow the agent managed to avoid them for the first few minutes, using the speed of his motorcycle to zip in and out of the truck’s blind spots.

Once the shooter took a moment to reload, Perry pressed on the accelerator and caught up, neck and neck, with the truck on the driver’s side. Smirking, the platypus pelleted his grappling hook and latched onto the roof. His motorcycle crashed onto the side of the road as he flung onto the vehicle.

Using a blowtorch buried in his fedora, Perry forced an entranceway from above and landed in the backseat.

The armed criminal immediately lurched backwards, startled, but Perry was faster, jumping onto his face and brutally slapping him with his tail. The gun slipped out of his hand and hit the floor.

The driver grabbed him and tried to pull him off his partner. Perry bit his hand in protest. The truck suddenly swerved and jolted Perry into the backseat once more.

The second criminal recovered and shot. Perry ducked, but the bullet still scraped his arm.

Perry whined in pain as hot blood ran down his side. The criminal cackled and raised his weapon once more. Enraged, the agent pulled out his grappling hook and struck the shooter in the forehead. The truck dangerously swerved again.

White pain caused his vision to go blurry, and the agent clutched his arm. He could only hear the driver desperately trying to pull the truck back into control. Perry grabbed the front seat and forcefully lurched forwards with the taser. Just as he was about to land his final attack, the driver screamed, and the truck ran into the side of a mountain.

Perry blacked out.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

“Agent P! Guys, he’s awake!”

The lights were blinding. Perry blinked, seeing nothing but swirling shapes. For a minute he thought he was at the Flynn-Fletchers, but upon trying to move, hot pain burst all the way up his right side. Perry groaned.

“Try not to move, Agent P.” A voice spoke gruffly. “You’ve been through a lot.”

Perry opened his eyes wider, and finally focused on Carl and Major Monogram. He blinked, confused, until memories began to flood back. The truck, the chase, the money…

He sat up and immediately regretted it.

  
“Agent P!” Carl tutted. “Everything’s okay. It’s lucky we were able to get to you as quickly as we did. Without my ingenious, completely homemade tracking device..”

“That’s enough, Carl! Can’t you see he’s exhausted?”

“Sorry, Sir.”

  
Perry opened his beak, in a questioning expression.

  
“Ah, no need to worry.” Major Monogram chucked. “The criminals took a worse hit than you did. They are currently on their way to state prison. You’ve saved the day again, Agent P. Well done.”

Perry blinked and laid back down. Now that his boss mentioned it, he was exhausted. His world diminished into a blurry haze of darkness and beeping noises, and before he knew it, he was out.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

A loud clap of thunder brought the agent awake again. He jumped and immediately grabbed his fedora. His arm spasmed and the platypus bit back a groan.

He was still in O.W.C.A.’s medical ward. The door to his room was shut, and the window curtain’s closed, but shadows were dancing at the threshold of his door. He pulled the monitors off his skin and forced himself to inspect the room.

_Were those voices?_

He couldn’t make out what they were saying amidst the pounding rain. All he could tell was that the noise seemed to be getting violently closer.

Perry retrieved his taser from a little cabinet and tiptoed with his back against the wall, his bandaged right arm held gingerly against his chest.

Suddenly, the door swung open, and Perry squeaked, jumping back in shock. The taser slid out of his hand and flew across the floor. Light flooded into the room.

A figure rushed over the help him up. For a moment, Perry held up his good hand in defense, but was quickly relieved when he recognized the face.

_It was only Lyla. Lyla Lolliberry. An agent. A friend._

“Hey, it’s okay!” She smiled shakily. “It’s just me. What were you doing, you dork? You’re supposed to be in bed!”

Perry chattered grumpily.

“It is not too early in the morning!” She scoffed. “You should be thanking me. I’m here to bust you out. Hospitals suck, don’t they, eh, Perry?”

Perry lifted an eyebrow but didn’t argue. He grabbed his things and followed the girl through the darkened hallways. They snuck out the back door, where Lyla had parked her car. O.W.C.A. would be notified of his disappearance, but he doubted the major would do anything about it. It wasn’t often that Lyla got to visit.

Rain washed over his body as they bolted for the safety of the car. Once inside, Lyla brushed her hair out of her face and laughed. Perry couldn’t help but endearingly roll his eyes. It was nice to know someone that didn’t mind the rain.

Lyla rolled the car away from O.W.C.A. and drove across the street to an empty gas station. She shut the car off and let the lights dim. Perry watched the stretching arms of morning shoot glowing pink lights all across the sky.

“Do you want to change?” Lyla inquired.

Perry glanced at her for a second before nodding.

The girl turned away and snickered. “I really hope you’re wearing something this time.”

The agent stuck out his tongue, but only because she was already covering her eyes and wouldn’t see it. With a deep breath, he held up his watch and released a small microchip from the back. Instantly, his platypus body began to melt away, and reform into that of a man. The DNA scramble didn’t scare him as much as it used to; the feeling now was rather tingly and familiar.

“Is it safe now?” Lyla laughed.

Perry sighed, his vocal chords already feeling very tight and uncomfortable. He coughed. “You’re.. such a dork.”

Lyla turned to look at him and smiled. “Nice black t-shirt. Do you ever wear anything different?”

“I have one with a skull on it.”

The two of them drove off into the sunset. Perry wished he could say ‘the end’, but the agents knew better than to think evil for going to rest, even for just one day. There would always be another villain, another threat.

“How’s your arm? Did you want more pain medication?”

“It’s fine.” Perry tried not to touch it as he cradled it in his lap. It hurt like hell, but he wasn’t going to tell her that.

Lyla murmured something intelligible. She obviously didn’t believe him.

“How’s your latest mission?” Perry blurted, trying to move the conversation away from him.

Lyla rolled her eyes. “Oh, you know, another day in the life. Although I think I finally got a sweet new lead into this mysterious gang that’s been crossing the borders and selling illegal weapons.”

“It’s still unresolved?”

“I’m not the only agent in C.O.W.C.A.” Lyla chided. “You think I wouldn’t come and make sure you were okay?”

“I’m not a child.” Perry muttered. “What was that?” Lyla laughed. “I heard whine.”

Perry sighed, earning a victorious glance from his companion. The two lapsed into a momentary silence, until Lyla turned to him again.

“Do you want check in on your host family?”

Perry shrugged. Honestly, his life with his host family had been rather sporadic. Ever since the incident with the 2nd Dimension, dealing with the repercussions of wiping their memories had been difficult. Everything was exactly the same as it was, and that bothered him. He’d begun spending more and more time away from his host home. With enough time, his family had finally decided he was off chasing squirrels and butterflies, and stopped worrying, since he always came back one day or another.

Lyla nodded in response. “If you’re sure.”

Summer morning danced in full swing as the agents passed into downtown Danville. Perry could feel exhaustion flooding his body again, but his instinct kept sending shivers down his spine. Looking in the rear view mirror, the agent was sure he’d seen that same car for almost ten minutes now.

“Turn here.” Perry snapped.

“Eh? Your place is still a few blocks away..”

“Please?”

Lyla shrugged and did as he said. Perry kept his eye on the unfamiliar car, and watched with held breath as it slowed. However, it didn’t follow them. Perry stared as the car fell farther and farther into the background. He took a deep breath.

“You okay, partner?”

Perry nodded. “Yeah. Sorry.”

He dropped the subject and tried to ignore his paranoia, but he couldn’t shake the weird feeling from the pit of his stomach. That car had definitely been following them.


	3. Chapter 3

His apartment was in shambles. It was almost embarrassing bringing Lyla over. Life had slipped out the rug from underneath him, it seemed. Of course, Lyla being Lyla, said nothing, and instead helped him bring in his things.

Perry flipped on the lights and offered the girl a cup of tea, which she accepted. He grabbed a couple tea bags and two mugs and turned the tea kettle on.

Perry didn’t spend much time in his apartment, which was why it was a cheap deal in the middle of busy Danville. He only used it as a safe house, or simply as a way to get away from everything for a day or two.

“Sorry I don’t have much to eat.” Perry shrugged sheepishly. “All I keep here are MRE’s.”

“No problem.” Lyla laughed. “I don’t usually visit for your lavish cooking.”

Perry snorted and picked up the tea kettle. Lyla glanced about the room awkwardly, as if she was desperate to ask if he needed help, but she knew she’d get a scathing remark for such a comment. Regardless, Perry managed to pour two cups with only one arm and set them down on the kitchen table.

“Thanks, partner.”

The two sat in silence, sipping their tea and listening to early morning Danville. Perry tapped his fingers against the table in an obsessive pattern as his mind raced through the events of the past two days.

“If you need sleep, Perry, don’t mind me. You’ve had quite a night.”

Perry cringed. “You really don’t mind?”

“Nah. I’ll be around town. Chinese take out sound good for later?”

Perry smiled. “You’re the best, you know that.”

“Yeah, I know!”

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

A week later, and Perry’s arm had regained some of its strength. The muscles were still a bit sore, but the pain was nothing he couldn’t handle. After basically mothering him for a few days, Lyla had returned to her agency, leaving Perry to return to the Flynn-Fletcher household.

It wasn’t that he didn’t like his family. He did; especially the boys. Phineas and Ferb were the only people he could say he truly loved, if only because his instinct kept convincing him their affection was genuine. Of all the Flynn-Fletchers, only the boys really loved him as family, despite the fact he was just their pet and nothing more.

However, Perry also couldn’t help and miss the moments where the secrets and lies were non-existent. Even if they were fighting for their lives against an evil tyrant from another dimension, for a few moments, he had been the real him, and it hadn’t mattered.

“Oh, there you are, Perry!” Phineas cried excitedly, bringing the platypus up to his chest and hugging him. “You’re just in time for the biggest adventure of the summer!”

Perry glanced up at the huge ride, complete with robot animals, loopy-loops, and massive spouts of confetti. How the boys managed to create these contraptions in a matter of hours always left him breathless.

Phineas strapped him into a metal cart decorated to look like a platypus, and Perry held onto the boy as the ride began. All the kids shouted and yelped as the machine took them up and down, splattering them with confetti and streamers along the way.

“Watch out for the big finale!” Phineas screamed.

Perry’s eyes bulged as the ride took them down a ridiculous drop, right into a metal jungle full of huge animated gorillas, elephants, and penguins, before it spun them around and around until the ride jolted to a stop.

  
The kids cried encore as Phineas and Ferb took a bow.

Perry jumped down from the ride and laid underneath the boy’s favorite tree, content to the watch the kids run around and make even more amazing adjustments.

“Phineas and Ferb! I’M TELLING MOM!”

Candace ran out of the backyard with cell phone in hand, scrambling like one of the metal hyenas. As always, the kids paid her no mind, continuing on with their games.

His wrist watch beeped. Lovely.

Perry ducked into a corner of the backyard, far from the kid’s hearing range, and opened the call.

“Hello, Agent P.” Major Monogram boomed. “I hope you are feeling well. We just received intel that Doofenshmirtz just bought up the city’s supply of paint. We have no idea what he’s planning to do with it, but whatever it is, it must be evil. What do you say? Feel up to it?”

Perry chattered reluctantly. He’d just gotten home, too. Hopefully the boys would forgive him.

“Excellent! Monogram out!”

As soon as the major disappeared, Perry rolled his eyes and popped through his lair to grab his jetpack. Pretty soon he was flying as top speed through in the sky, racing away to the familiar building.

Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated popped into view like a bad eye sore. Perry could never understand why Doof, or his landlord for that matter, had picked such a disgusting purple color.

He parked his jetpack on the roof and snuck in through one of the air vents. He would have simply crashed down the door, if he had the money for another repair.

Suddenly, the agent caught a light noise, almost like scratching, coming from behind him. He gyrated, grappling hook in hand, but was only met with the wind. His heart pounded out of his chest.

_Calm, calm. It’s just a tree branch. Focus._

Perry popped through an opening in the air vent and landed in the middle of Doof’s lobby.

He had no time to react as a giant metal cage crashed on top of him. The bars sunk deep into the floor, stabilizing him there. With a sigh, the platypus sat back and prepared to suffer through yet another evil monologue.

“How nice of you top stop by Perry the Platypus. And when I say nice, I mean not very nice at all. But oh well. Now I can show you my new… amazingly evil… Paint-Splatter-Inator!

I bet you’re wondering what it does, right? Well ever since I can remember, my brother would always play paintball with his friends, and bring me along. It was the only thing he ever did with me. But every time, it was just to humiliate me by assaulting me with paintballs! So, during his big speech today, I’m going to blast him with GIANT paintballs and see how HE likes it! Wuahahahah!”

Doofensmirtz pressed a bulging red button and the machine let out a long moan. Perry immediately began to feel around the cage, looking for an escape route, but not before Doofenshmirtz had begun blasting huge paintballs across the side of the building, causing the walls to cave and people to run screaming.

“On to city hall!” The doctor cackled. He pressed another button and the machine began to hover. “Sayonara, Perry the Platypus!”

Perry noticed the remote for the cage sitting upon the window ledge where Doofenshmirtz had left it, whether by intention or convenient coincidence, Perry would never guess. He quickly pulled out his grappling hook and aimed it towards the remote. It took three tries, but he finally managed to hit the button and the cage recoiled. With a whistle, his jetpack came speeding and he jumped out of a window in hot pursuit.

Beep. “Agent P, Doofenshmirtz has been spotted reigning terror downtown! The whole place is a mess! You have to stop him!”

“guyrururururururur.”

It wasn’t difficult to find Doofenshmirtz’s paintball war. Shades of blue and green colored the streets of Danville and the doctor’s laugh could be recognized from every corner. Perry kicked his jetpack into high gear and darted towards the machine. He jumped onto it’s side and knocked Doofenshmirtz in the head with his beaver tail.

“Perry the Platypus? How did you get out of my trap? Ah well… You can’t stop me!”

Doofenshmirtz plunged in an attempt to punch him, but Perry kicked him again in the knee, causing the doctor to grab his joint in pain. Perry crawled along the hood and began looking for any power wires he could pull. He ignored the searing pain shooting up his arm.

“Hey! Get off my Paint-Splatter-Inator!”

The doctor grabbed him and threw him against the side. Perry pushed more fuel through the jetpack. Now angry, he hovered it above the machine and blasted the inator with a heat ray gun. The machine began to vibrate with electricity.

“Nooo!”

Doofenshmirtz managed to jump off and land on a balcony before the machine exploded. With a job well done, Perry turned around and flew off.

“Curse you, Perry the Platypus!”

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Once home, he could feel little dots of blood running down his arm. It hurt like a bitch, but he used all the training he could muster to act as if nothing was wrong. He was grateful for the chance to run into the bathroom and wash off the blood. Standing on it was almost killing him.

Once to slight bleeding had stopped, Perry curled onto Phineas’ bed, completely worn out, and let sleep wash over him. He didn’t noticed the figure lurking in the background, watching through the bedroom window.


	4. Chapter 4

For a few seconds, Perry basked in the warmth of the blankets underneath him, and the peacefulness of the morning sunlight on his face. But with a few blinks, his vision cleared and all the thoughts of last night poured into his mind like a waterfall.

Groaning, Perry stretched and glanced at his injured arm. More scabs had formed underneath his teal fur, and the marks was still sore, but at least he wasn’t bleeding. Upon noticing Phineas and Ferb were already awake and brainstorming ideas under their favorite tree, the platypus took the opportunity to dart into the bathroom on two legs to clean off his wound.

How was he going to work in this condition? Maybe he should have taken those stitches..

Perry lumbered down the stairs and gratefully dug into the bowl of food waiting for him. Surprisingly, the food tasted delicious to his platypus taste buds, even though he would never have been able to swallow it as a human.

Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher was about ready to head out the door as Perry finished his meal. Apparently, Candace was out with her friends for a bit, but the platypus figured that wouldn’t last very long. In order to avoid her constant yelling, he snuck back upstairs to take a prolonged nap in the boy’s bed.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Later that day, Perry, fully human, was on his way to his second job. It’d been a spontaneous decision, and one that he still wasn’t completely sure why he’d made. But as long as O.W.C.A. remained unaware of his human identity, he figured it wouldn’t be a problem.

He just needed it.

Just a week ago, Perry applied for a serving position at a local, hole-in-the-wall restaurant called Vintage Docks. Pretentious sounding, yes, but it was rarely busy and apparently a very relaxed place to work, despite the type of work it was.

Upon arrival, Perry walked through the back door and greeted one of his managers. The man handed him his final piece of training material, and promised told him he’d have his own section of tables that night.

The agent put on his apron while skimming through the papers.

“Hey, Perry, wasn’t it? Perry Michael?”

The agent looked up an older woman with long blonde hair she had pulled back in a ponytail. Her smile was contagious.

“Yep, that’s me. Tammy?”

  
“Wow, I’m surprised you remember.” She blurted. Then she suddenly covered her mouth with her hands. “Sorry, that was rude. I didn’t mean..”

Perry laughed. “That’s okay, I know what you meant. Trust me, there’s a lot of new faces I have yet to learn.”

“That’s true! Well, let me know if you need anything tonight!”

The restaurant ran with only a couple servers, as the capacity of the dining room was quite small. Perry mostly enjoyed talking in the back with his coworkers and asking questions, since he only maintained a few guests at a time.

About 6:30, one of the servers, a younger woman, crashed into the kitchen with a loud sigh. “I told the hostess not to give me that table! And she fucking did it anyway!”

The staff gave each other a look. Perry glanced at each of them, confused. “What table?”

“This one-top!” The young woman, whom Perry briefly remembered as Jordan, complained. “That guy who always comes in with his stupid blueprints and never tips!”

“Sucks for you!” A male server- Ken- howled.

Perry turned to Jordan. “Is he a regular?”

“Yes, and he’s such a bitch. God, please kill me.”

Although Perry was new to the job, he was never one to step away from a challenge. And the girl’s whining was so much like Candace’s, it put his nerves on edge. “I’ll take him for you.”

Jordan looked up, startled. “You’ll what?”

“I’ll take him.” Perry shrugged. “Unless you really want to serve him?”

The servers immediately began to warn him of the trouble he was getting into, but Perry wouldn’t hear of it. Jordan grabbed him up in a suffocating hug, almost lifting him off his feet, before scurrying off to tell the hostess.

The agent stepped into the dining room, ready to take the alleged ‘nightmare customer’, when he noticed who was sitting at the table.

_Oh, shit. Why?_

Doofenshmirtz’s head was buried in a roll of blueprints. As always, he wore his signature lab coat, black t-shirt, and grey jeans. As the agent approached, he wondered why Doofenshmirtz- a man scared by shellfish- would regularly dine in a seafood restaurant.

He cautiously approached the table.

“Hello, Sir, my name is-“

“I want a water with no lemon and a hot coffee, decaf. You better not bring me caffeinated, or I will blast you with my next Another-Dimension-Inator.”

Ha, now that was the Doofenshmirtz he knew.

Perry gritted his teeth, already frustrated that he’d chosen this punishment, but said nothing and walked away to get the man’s beverages. He triple checked to be certain the coffee was decaf, and didn’t pour him a glass until a fresh pot had been made. Two could play at this ridiculous game.

Doofenshmirtz said nothing when Perry set the glasses in front of him; his eyes never moved from the blueprints. The platypus glanced downward, and barely made out the name “Ice-inator” before the man abruptly set them aside and picked up his coffee.

He inspected the glass twice before finally taking a sip. Perry smiled triumphantly as the scientist grumbled something intelligible, but didn’t complain.

“Now, listen closely. I want your salmon, but with absolutely no sauce. Not even on the side. No sauce. And make the side salad with romaine only. And also, the last time I was here, my salmon was burnt, so if it’s burnt, just know I will not be happy.”

“Right away, Sir.” Perry took the useless menu out of the doctor’s way and happily retreated back to the kitchen to ring in the order. The servers kept coming up and asking him what he thought of the customer, to which he gladly responded in great detail.

After ringing in the order, Perry specifically approached the kitchen and made sure they understood the extent that this customer would judge the food- only a few minutes later to see the salmon come out with sauce on top.

“Can you please remake this?” Perry begged. “He wanted no sauce!”

Once the doctor’s order was finally correct, Perry carried it to the table. Doofenshmirtz inspected every moment as the man set the dishes in front of him. He opened his mouth to say something, but was quickly silenced, which was unusual for the man. Perry smirked; the kitchen had cooked it perfectly.

The doctor said nothing as Perry left to refill his glass.

The agent already knew that his nemesis would not like being disturbed as he enjoyed his meal, so Perry left him to his own devices, only checking periodically to refill his water or bring him another loaf of bread.

The man said nothing once the bill came, simply paid it and left without so much as a goodbye.

Perry picked up the check and noticed a two dollar bill crumpled in the folder. It was a measly tip- barely ten percent- but for a man like Doofenshmirtz, Perry would take it.

The agent displayed his reward proudly, making all the servers gasp in shock.

“Watch out!” Jordan grinned, “Or he’ll become one of your regulars!”

_Ha, take that, Doofenshmirtz. I win again._

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

“Oh, there you are, Perry!”

The platypus chattered happily as the boy’s picked him up and took him inside for snacks. He hoped he didn’t smell too much like seafood, but the family didn’t seem to notice.

“Mom, you totally missed the most amazing track we built!” Phineas explained excitedly as he poured himself a glass of milk before bed. “We raced rockets, jetpacks, submarines..”

“You boys are so imaginative.” Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher laughed, giving him a big hug. “I’m glad you had fun today. Can you make sure Perry takes his medicine before he goes to bed?”

“Sure thing, Mom.”

Perry watched as Phineas took a pill from one of the cabinets and mixed it in with some peanut butter. The platypus groaned as Phineas temptingly fished it in front of him, and took a cautious gulp.

“Good boy.”

The platypus held the peanut butter in his mouth before Phineas disappeared upstairs, then promptly threw it up into the sink and washed out his mouth. Why the vet kept thinking he needed all these pills was infuriating. Nonetheless, he didn’t dare take any with his compromised DNA.

Perry was tiptoeing up to the boy’s room, exhausted and ready for a night’s rest, when he heard strange beeping noises. Curiously, the platypus peered inside from a crack in the doorway.

Phineas and Ferb were pounding away at some computer-resembling device, probably an object of their own creation.

“No, I still don’t think these formulas are right. We have to keep trying, Ferb.”

_Hm, trying to do what, I wonder. Knowing them, it could be anything._

Dismissing his curiosity, Perry jumped on the bed and fell asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Perry hadn’t been sent undercover in quite awhile. Although it was a regular part of his encounters with Doofenshmirtz, but taking on a completely undercover mission was a rarity. However, this one was urgent. He’d even heard Major Monogram was pulling three or four agents together on this one. They were all to meet at O.W.C.A.’s headquarters, where they were to receive the details.

Around midnight, when Phineas and Ferb were cuddled up in bed and fast asleep, Perry snuck out of the house and drove his motorcycle down to headquarters.

Agent Pinky, Agent Mike the Monkey, and Agent Chris and Cat were all gathered in one of the office’s conference rooms. Major Monogram and Carl were passing out documents when Perry arrived. They motioned him over expectantly.

“Thank you for coming, Agent P. As you know, you four are some of our best in the force. That’s why I’m putting you all on this mission. As you know, this is a Code Red.”

Carl flipped open one of the documents and gave it to Major Monogram.

“Ah, yes,” the man coughed. “Here are profiles on five very prominent evil scientists that we have yet to bring in. Their names are Dr. Rewind, Dr. Scepter, Professor Laferon, Shade Terror, and Professor Gevaarlijk.”

Perry squinted at the profile of the last scientist. He was almost certain he knew her.

The major continued, “All the intel we have on these characters is that they have all been afflicted with each other in the past, and that they are all severely dangerous. We have no idea why they are all here in Danville, which is definitely worrying. However, we do know all five of them are attending a ‘students of evil’ event being held at the Danville Hotel tonight.

We are not sending you to take them in, unless the situation becomes dangerous to civilians. We want you to go undercover as some of these students and find out what you can about their purposes here. Carl will assist you with the costumes. Any questions?”

The four agents looked at each other silently.

“Very well. Carl!”

“I’m standing right here, Sir!”

“Oh. Sorry.” Monogram smiled sheepishly. “I’m just so used to having to yell for you at the office. I think they installed the sound proofing a bit too well. Please show our agents their covers.”

Carl pushed a button on some kind of remote, causing half the wall to flip around, revealing four unique watches. The intern pulled one of the shelf and wrapped it around his wrist.

“These watches use holographic projections to make you look human. We.. um.. found.. DNA from four real human teenagers to make the holograms realistic. You just push this button here and..”

Instantly, Carl was turned into a teenage girl with long blonde hair. He did a twirl to show the effectiveness of the projection.

“That’s a little creepy, Carl.” The major muttered under his breath.

“You just have to be careful.” Carl warned. “This watch is extremely sensitive to water, or other seemingly harmless liquids. We are still working out the bugs on the waterproofing shell.”

He handed each of the agents a watch. Perry wrapped it around his left wrist and watched as the device began scanning his face. It identified him as the owner and relaxed. Interesting. Carl must have already programmed them to each individual.

“Now,” Monogram boomed, “get out there and godspeed!”

Perry could practically hear Carl scoff at the major’s cheesy remark as the agents fanned out. Perry ducked into one of the company cars, which was already prepared for his destination, and followed the other agents as they sped through the night.

The Danville Hotel was huge. Perry remembered spending a day there when Phineas and Ferb’s grandparents came to visit. The pillows were so comfy.

The agents parked just a few blocks away from the grand hotel, and activated their holograms. Neither of them even bothered to look, not particularly caring, but Perry snuck a peek at himself in his rearview mirror. He had to be sixteen or seventeen, with long, black hair and a sharp jaw.

The agents each put on lab coats, then gathered around to decide a plan of action. Once cue words and phrases were put into place, the agents separated and entered the building. Perry couldn’t believe how many students there were in Danville that had such an interest in this. There were almost hundreds.

Perry scanned the area for any signs of the scientists in question. It looked as if evil scientists from all over the country had gathered in Danville to talk about their profession and their schools, with actual booths and pamphlets. It would seem natural to assume such a convention would be held with great secret, but nobody seemed to think twice. Was this really so normal?

Agent P. wandered about the space for a minute, stopping by a couple booths to act as if he was interested. Students scurried around him, chattering amongst themselves with either excitement or sarcasm.

Perry suddenly spotted Dr. Gevaarlijk. He immediately remembered where he’d seen her; she had been Doofenshmirtz’s old professor, the one he’d invited over in the hopes of impressing her and earning his degree.

_What was she doing back in Danville?_

  
Perry decided to approach her. She was a tiny woman, guarded and strict in her demeanor. She watched the crowd unwaveringly, as if bored and waiting for the paint to dry.

Perry sauntered around her booth, shoulders slouched and the sleeves of his lab coat dragging around his wrists. He picked up one of her pamphlets and turned it over in his hands, as if scrutinizing it. Once he was sure he’d caught her eye, he took the pamphlet and ripped it in half, before throwing it in the trash.

“Well, aren’t you a downer?”

Perry turned around to find the doctor staring right up at him. Her facial expression never shifted, other than the glare that was burning her way right down to his soul. Perry shrugged and moved his gaze to the ground.

“Not very bright, either, I see.”

The platypus didn’t respond.

“Why don’t you consider my school?” She continued eagerly. “I guarantee you won’t find the education, nor the connections you will find in my school at any other represented program in this facility.”

Perry raised an eyebrow.

The woman laughed, low and hollow. “Even for the quiet types.”

Perry pursed his lips, but picked up another one of the pamphlets.

“How about you come by and have a personal interview with me? Perhaps I can convince you.”

Perry took the business card from her grasp and studied it. It was plain and simple, very like the woman herself, with an address engraved on the front.

Agent P. looked up to nod in thanks, but the woman was back to staring into the audience, as if she had never moved. Fully creeped out, and unsure if he’d just succeeded or failed, Perry wandered back into the crowd to see where his coworkers had wandered to.

As he was passing through another hallway, Perry stopped in his tracks. Waltzing down the other side, coming towards him, was Vanessa Doofenshmirtz, followed by a bustle of teenagers that didn’t seem to be her normal social group. Suddenly very concerned, Perry ducked into the crowd and passed over. He made a point to keep his head low, but aimed his other watch at the kids as he moved by.

Once scanned, Perry observed the results. Yep, that group was definitely a bunch of evil scientist’s kids. But what was Vanessa doing in their company?

Perry let a little distance between them before he followed the group from behind. Vanessa had two or three of the pamphlets in her hands, but nothing else that he could see. She didn’t join in any of the conversations either, simply watched as they approached booth after booth.

It wasn’t long before the teenagers decided they had had enough and were ready to leave the event. Several of the students had fanned out by this point. There were only small groups wandering at this point. Perry caught Agent Pinky’s eye, and motioned that he was exiting as well. One by one, the other agents returned to their vehicles, and flew off to report back to headquarters.

Perry, however, flew after Vanessa. Even in a vehicle, they couldn’t have gone far.

Thankfully, he spotted the group driving away in a black Honda Civic, windows rolled down and shouting along to a heavy metal band. The platypus followed their noise from high above, hoping no-one would notice the flying car.

His interest was deflated, however, when all the teenagers did was stop at a local fast food restaurant. His wrist watch beeped.

“Where are you, Agent P.?” Major Monogram boomed. “Something amiss?”

The agent shook his head, and lifted his watch to show his boss that he was headed the man’s way.

Perry decided he was not going to mention Vanessa’s presence to the major. If anything, it was all a misunderstanding, but Perry was going to find out what she was doing there, and why.


	6. Chapter 6

“Great googly-moogly, Agent P.! You got a personal interview with Dr. Gevaarlijk? That is some seriously good work.” Major Monogram announced proudly. “Make the call, and we’ll see what we can find out.”

The mission was actually quite a success, despite the lack of convicting evidence they seemed to collect. Agent Pinky had discovered from some of the students that Shade Terror had been gathering resources from Danville’s coast, and Agent Mike the Monkey had been given an opportunity to sneak into Dr. Rewind’s belongings, and found a document listing all of Danville’s police officers and where they were usually stationed.

The conclusion still led to a massive attack on Danville, but for then, Perry was happy to relax underneath a shady tree as his boys build their next summer invention while O.W.C.A. worked on their next move.

True to Perry’s predictions, that day Doof invented some kind of “ice-inator” that he planned to shoot at every Danville citizen’s cars, covering them in thick sheets of ice and forcing them to have to scrape it off. Perry had been so speechless with the stupidity of the plan, that he even let the doctor try it.

Apparently some people could just forget it was almost ninety degrees outside, though how, Perry hadn’t the slightest idea.

The evil scheme ultimately failed as the ice just melted right off the cars, and Doofenshmirtz admitted rather sullenly that he was running into another “evil-scientist’s block.”

The agent hoped it meant a few days off for him.

“Hey, Mom?” Candace peered around the corner of the kitchen.

“Yes, dear?” Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher smiled. Perry was laying on the couch next to her, happily drifting off to one of his favorite soap-operas.

“Do you mind if Vanessa comes over for a sleep-over? Her parents got into a really big argument and she doesn’t really want to stay at either of their houses..”

“Poor dear.” Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher sighed. “Of course she can stay over. Does Vanessa need a ride?”

“No, one of her friends is dropping her off.”

“Okay. Does she like chocolate? I was looking for an excuse to try this new recipe.”

Perry’s ears perked up at the new development. Vanessa, as in Vanessa Doofenshmirtz, his nemesis’ daughter, spending the night? Her father may be easily fooled, but Perry knew Vanessa would have no trouble making the connection between him and the Perry she knew.

Perhaps he should disappear for a couple days?

_But didn’t you want to find out what that girl is up to? This would be too perfect of an opportunity.._

Perry weighed his options before finally deciding to stay. He was an extremely skilled agent; he could handle a teenage girl, even a brilliant one.

A few hours later, Vanessa was inside the Flynn-Fletcher household, thanking the kid’s mother and nonchalantly listening to Candace ramble on about her brothers and how much fun they were going to have.

Perry followed the girls upstairs and laid right outside of the Phineas and Ferb’s door, hoping to blend in. He listened as Candace showed Vanessa the guest bedroom and where the bathroom was. The girl’s chatted for awhile about boys and bands and boy bands, before Vanessa admitted she was tired and shut herself in her room.

The agent sighed. Nothing interesting there; not that he was expecting there to be. With a yawn, Perry dipped into Phineas and Ferb’s room, hoping to catch some sleep.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

  
His eyes fluttered open.

Something wasn’t right.

Perry was in the boy’s bed, just as he had fallen asleep. The time read 12:47. All seemed normal, except someone was outside, whispering.

Curious, the platypus jumped off the bed and stealthily snuck out the door. The hallway was empty, but the whispering was definitely coming from Vanessa’s room. Perry debated whether eavesdropping was a good idea or not. It seemed a little creepy, especially since he was really a man and she was a minor.

What if she’s in trouble?

His logic jumped back and forth, but with a desperate sigh, Perry climbed over to Vanessa’s door and stuck his ear against the threshold, laying down as if he’d fallen asleep there. Surely the family wouldn’t question it too much if they saw him.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?”

Although Perry couldn’t see her, he heard Vanessa’s voice waver, as if she was actually rather nervous about something. A pause.

“No, I’m not backing out. It’s just..

“Yes, I know but..”

“Fine. Fine. I will be there tomorrow night.”

Another pause. Perry held his breath.

“You better know what you’re doing, Orville.”

The girl hung up and resorted to pacing the room. After awhile, once Perry could only hear light snores and assumed she had fallen asleep, the platypus snuck back into the boy’s bedroom and laid back down. Although the agent tried to let exhaustion take over, his mind would not stop racing.

After peeking at the boy’s snoring faces, Perry opened his watch and surveyed the scans of the teenagers she had been with during the Students of Evil convention.

_Ah.. there he is. Orville von Roddenstein. Rodney’s son._

_What on earth are they meeting up for?_

An uneasy feeling in his stomach, Perry laid on his back and prayed to whatever being out there that she wasn’t doing something stupid.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

The next morning, Vanessa didn’t say much at breakfast, other than random comments about Candace’s conversations, or thanking Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher, or saying hello to the boys. She was picked up by her friend before noon.

Candace didn’t seem to notice her quiet mood, and continued on with getting ready for a surprise date with Jeremy.

Perry sighed, concerned. Hopefully he could quickly finish up his shift that night and find out what she was up to.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Perry walked into Vintage Docks in a rather foul mood. Although his arm was healing quite nicely, he’d accidentally jammed it into Doofenshmirtz’s latest evil invention, causing it to bruise and ache. Lifting trays was not going to be fun.

Thankfully, the night carried on uneventfully. Tammy dropped a whole table’s order of soup, and the manager had to apologize to a severely upset customer over something that was, in Perry’s opinion, stupid. But other than that, uneventful.

Until, of course, Jordan had some news for him.

“Hey, the guy asked for you specifically today.”

Perry raised an eyebrow. “What guy?”

“You know.” She sighed. “Lab coat guy.”

The platypus scowled. Great, what a way to improve his mood. “He wanted me to be his server?”

“Maybe we can pull the fire alarm.” Another server piped up. “Send us all home.”

Perry chuckled. “That’s okay. Yeah, I’ll be there in a minute.”

“I tried to warn you about him.” Jordan grinned.

Perry peeked into the dining room to see Doofenshmirtz sitting at the exact same table he had occupied last week, but instead of holding blueprints, he had a novel in his hand. Funny, the platypus hadn’t really taken Heinz for the reading type.

The man had definitely changed his lab coat. Perry remembered scorching the thing to smithereens earlier that day. He smirked, recollecting how furious the scientist had been.

Forcefully wiping the smile from his face, the agent strode up to the table and a set a water with absolutely no lemon in sight in front of the man.

Heinz sighed. “You forgot my coffee, but we’ll work on it.”

“So I’m assuming it’ll be your usual?”

“Yes, thank you.”

_Hm, so we’re being civil today?_

The man looked worn down. Perry wondered if his supposed argument with Charlene had anything to do with it, although he hadn’t seemed any different this afternoon during their usual daily brawl.

Perry had the coffee and the salmon out, prepared perfectly, in front of the man in less than ten minutes. Once he was sure Doof wouldn’t need anything else, he busied himself at the end of the bar, polishing wine glasses.

Two minutes later, Doofenshmirtz flagged him over. “I need another cup of coffee.”

The man had actually downed it like an espresso shot. Perry raised an eyebrow but said nothing, doing as the man asked. At least it was decaf.

“Can I ask you something?” Doofenshmirtz interrupted suddenly as the agent was setting his fresh coffee down.

“Certainly.”

Did he suspect something?

Surely not..

“Let’s say for.. hypothetical reasons.. your ex-wife and your daughter both hate you.” Doof tapped his fingers against his glass. “And you now have to find a way to get them both to understand your point of view. What do you do?”

So, the argument was affecting him.

The undercover agent inside of Perry was sending flashing lights through his mind. This would be a great way to gage more information about the man than even Agent P would be able to get. He decided to peak the man’s interest.

“Hmm. Well, normal people would probably tell you to get together with a counsellor. I, on the other hand, would probably create some unnecessary device that bent the laws of nature to make them see my way.” Perry shrugged. “I’m not great at advice though, sorry.”

_Now that will definitely catch your attention._

Doofenshmirtz gave him a quizzical look. “You tinker?”

“I used to. It’s been awhile.” The agent said nonchalantly.

For a second, thoughts of all the inventions he’d tried, and failed, to create flashed through his mind and he cringed internally. Never again.

“Well, I tried that whole ‘inator’ thing before, and it didn’t actually.. well.. work.” Heinz sighed. “All it did was get me divorced in the first place.”

Perry suddenly felt a little sorry for the man. The agent knew his family was important to him, even if he covered that fact up with an “evil genius” attitude. Loosing them completely would be a huge blow, especially if he lost Vanessa.

The agent sighed. “I suppose I couldn’t interest you in a glass of wine to help your thoughts?”

“Actually,” Doofenshmirtz cracked a smile. “why not?”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning, there's depictions of attempted rape in this scene. However, it doesn't happen fully, and there's nothing graphic.

Midnight. Perry rubbed his now human eyes and collapsed onto the couch.

He always forgot why he never slept in his apartment, only to be brutally reminded every time he decided to take a night to himself. Every moment, cars or pedestrians would screech, shout, or honk, and it drove him absolutely insane.

The agent stood and reached into the fridge for a pitcher of water. He’d been tracking Vanessa Doofenshmirtz on his phone for about an hour now, but despite her conversation from the day before, she hadn’t left her friend’s house.

Maybe there were doing something there? But wouldn’t there be adults around? Should he go and check?

Apparently, his mind had been running in circles for about an hour now, too.

It was unfortunate he hadn’t been able to get access to Orville’s GPS location. His father must be very up to date with those O.W.C.A. techniques and was blocking his access somehow. There was no time to hack through, either.

Infuriated, Perry finally decided he would check on Vanessa and put his mind at ease.

The agent grabbed a hoodie and jumped into his 2012 Mustang, fedora and grappling hook set in the passenger’s seat, ready just in case.

He completely forgot he was only wearing another black t-shirt and black skinny jeans; that combined with his teal hair and snakebites, he basically looked like a mentally ill criminal. But all his thoughts were focused on making sure Vanessa was okay.

When suddenly, his phone began to alert him. The girl was on the move.

Now filled with adrenaline, Perry punched on the accelerator and began to follow the trail Vanessa was leading him down.

_They’re leaving Danville?_

The path led him right on the outskirts of the city. Once he was sure she had stopped somewhere and was now still, Perry waited till he was only a block out and parked on the side of the road next to a dark neighborhood. This was definitely a bad side of town; whatever the girl was doing here, it couldn’t be good. The agent continued his path on foot, one hand with his phone, the other in his pocket, clutching his grappling hook.

Vanessa had to be somewhere close by.

Perry carefully watched his surroundings as he continued. There was nobody in sight, and nothing seemed to move, except for a couple squirrels in the branches.

_Only half a block now._

Perry turned another corner. Just as he was sure he was about to land eyes on her, the ground underneath him suddenly collapsed. From just a few feet away, a massive explosion sent everything before him up in flames, and flung him against the road.

The man hit the ground and everything went black.  
  
~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Silence.  
  
Holy chihuahua, there was silence.

Perry awoke, feeling like his head was split in two. All he could see was a massive building literally burning to the ground with huge licks of flames spitting out from all sides. The agent forced himself to stand.

_Vanessa._

He tried to run forward, tripped on a fallen branch, and winced as pain shot through his arm again. The agent clutched the ground, pushed himself up, and forced himself to continue.

When he turned the corner, the building was revealed in all its blazing glory. Half a dozen teenagers were running away on motorcycles and junky cars. Perry circled the building, looking for a possible entrance where he could check for the girl.

Wait, his cell phone.

Perry breathed a sigh of relief when he felt the object in his pocket. His GPS traced Vanessa far from here. Thank goodness.

The man ran as fast as he could back to his car, which had thankfully been undamaged, and raced towards the girl’s signal. People from the neighborhoods were running about, screaming and calling the authorities.

Vanessa was headed back towards town, but she wasn’t moving fast. She was probably on foot.

Agent P. finally drew close enough to where he was sure he could spot the girl. Leaving his car, he ran towards her position, shouting her name. However, he was still too far away. On the ground before him lay Vanessa’s phone, shattered and broken. He looked to his right, to see her one street over, frozen, like a deer in the headlights.

Perry’s stomach was starting to tie itself in knots, as he realized he was one second too late.

“Hey, Missy. Is everything okay?”

A gruff voice shattered the silence like glass china, rumbling low and threatening. Three men waddled forwards, obviously drunk, and clustered together, blocking off Vanessa’s only open escape. She eyed them warily, her hands trembling.

“I’m going to the police station.” She spoke evenly, despite her obvious fear. “My dad is working late.”

The apparent ring leader howled with laughter, cueing his cronies to do the same. “You almost made that sound convincing, darling. But don’t go so soon. Let’s have some fun. What do you say?”

The girl snarled. “Not interested.”

“Oh, don’t be that way! My boys and I mean no harm! Jus’a little.. fun..”

“Fuck. Off.”

The drunkards stepped closer. The girl let out a fierce kick, hitting one man in the groin. He barely got to scream in pain before the other two, enraged, jumped and trapped her, pinning her to the ground. She squirmed, waving her legs desperately.

The ring leader, still holding his crotch, crawled up and reached under her skirt. “You asked for it, Missy…”

Perry jumped. His fist hit the man before he had a chance to blink, knocking him to the ground. The other two pulled away from the girl and attacked, but Perry was too quick, dodging their drunken blows with ease and punching them both in the face.

Suddenly, he felt a meaty hand grab his leg, and a fist punched his stomach. Black stars circled his vision as he hit the ground. The ring leader had pinned him down, and his face leaned so close that Perry could smell the alcohol on his breath.

“You’re next, bastard!”

The man was choking him and it hurt. He struggled, but to no avail. He felt his lungs beginning to deflate, and his eyes were shutting. Anger began rising up in his chest, almost as if he were burning with the extreme force of it.

_Don’t loose control. Don’t loose control._

Something slammed the man’s face to the pavement.

Vanessa stood over him, her purse in hand.

The ring leader gasped as he stared in shock at the two of them, but that didn’t stop him from getting up and raging. But again, Perry was faster. Bare hands tore into the drunkard’s gut, until they ran away, bloody and beaten.

Perry collapsed on the ground and massaged his sore throat. The girl tiptoed forwards, eyes wide with fear.

He choked, just now feeling the blood dripping down his forehead and lips. He stood and motioned for the girl to follow. “Please, come with me. I won’t hurt you.”

The girl backed away.

“Vanessa.” Perry replied smoothly. “It’s me. Perry.”

  
He glanced up. Brown eyes met brown eyes. For a moment, he didn’t dare speak, but as Vanessa Doofenshmirtz stared at his human face, he watched as her mouth slowly began to drop in recognition.

She gasped, “Oh my god. You’re human.”

“I can explain later.” Perry choked.

“I’m sorry..” The girl gasped, hyperventilating. “I just happened so fast, there was fire and then screaming and then I was running and..”

“Vanessa.” Perry gently grabbed her shoulders, ignoring her flinch. “I know. It’s okay. But right now we need to go.”

Thankfully, the teenager pulled herself together and wasted no time in jumping in his car. The two watched the neighborhood disappear as they headed back into Danville. Perry watched the growing stream of smoke and soot rising into the air from behind them. Vanessa didn’t say a word. She looked traumatized, but like she was trying to hide it.

“What’s your mom’s address?”

“I’m living with a friend right now.”

Perry eyed her. Did he dare mention anything? He decided to tiptoe around the subject. “Your father seemed rather upset today.”

Vanessa sighed. “My dad is a lot of things, but he would never hurt me. Like I said, I’m living with a friend right now.”

The man decided not to argue. He followed her directions to her friend’s house and parked in front of the building.

“Are you going to be okay?” Perry asked hesitantly. “Can you tell me what happened?”

Vanessa looked him in the eyes for a second, before quickly looking away. “You aren’t going to tell dad, are you?”

“Only if you’re in danger. If not, it’s none of my business. I just want to make sure you aren’t in any trouble. I can help, you know.” Perry murmured, trying very hard to be calm and soothing.

Vanessa’s lip trembled. “I’m pretty sure O.W.C.A. would throw me in jail for this. I didn’t mean to do it, I swear!”

“O.W.C.A. doesn’t throw minors in jail, Vanessa.” Perry spoke.

The girl sniffled. “I accidentally got.. involved with this group of people who weren’t exactly the greatest. It’s not that I want to be one of them, they just.. get me, you know? Being my dad’s daughter can be weird and difficult, and they just get it.”

Perry let her pause, not daring to interrupt.

“Anyway, they invited me to this party they were having. It sounded pretty cool, so I thought I’d come for just a few hours. I swear I didn’t know they were going to try and make this dangerous weapon. And then it started overheating, and the place caught on fire, and I was running for my life and..”

The girl was hyperventilating, so Perry put a hand on her shoulder. She winced, but didn’t pull away.

“It’s okay. It wasn’t your fault. I promise I’ll make sure your name doesn’t come up in the report.”

Vanessa swallowed. “Thanks, Perry.”

“Just please promise me you’ll stay away from those kids, and let me know if they try and contact you?”

The girl hesitated, but she finally gave a meek nod. “I promise.”

She went to get out of the car, but stopped and looked at him. “Thanks for saving my life. Are you going to tell me how you’re human, sometime?”

Perry nodded. “And I won’t tell your dad if you won’t.”

 


	8. Chapter 8

Summer smelt like asphalt.

A cloaked figure stood stalling in a nearby parking garage. His hands clung tightly to the handle of another briefcase as he watched Danville civilians going about their daily lives. Once he was sure there was no one suspicious around, he ducked behind a back door.

Three clocks. Five chairs. Five scientists.

“You have development, I presume?”

He slid the briefcase in front of the short woman, saying nothing, simply starring from behind his mask. Again, the scientists looked pleased. Good.

His payment was presented.

“I am assuming our target will be none the wiser?” The woman asked sharply as he picked up the briefcase.

He gave a simple nod, but it was enough. No one said a word as he left the way he came, his shoes making squeaking noises as he walked out, and disappeared into Danville’s busy crowds.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Perry watched the Vanessa’s GPS for a few more days, but it looked as if the girl was keeping her promise. He wondered if he should have offered to take the girl to the police; maybe they could of had those men arrested for what they tried to do to her. But she had already looked so scared.

Besides, wasn’t that something she should do with her actual parents?

The man decided not to let himself simmer on the what-ifs, and instead tried to stay focused on the mission before him.  
  
Perry had reached out to Dr. Gevaarlijk and accepted her offer for an interview. Carl had set him up with new gear so they could listen and record the entire procession.

He spent the next couple of days preparing a tweaked version of Carl’s holographic watch, hoping to make the disguise even more realistic, since he was sure the Professor would be scrutinizing him with every trick she had up her sleeve.

Finally satisfied, Perry picked out a new outfit to match his unpleasant teenage appearance, and presented the final product to Major Monogram and Carl.

“Excellent job, Agent P. There’s no way now they’ll be suspicious.”

  
In the meantime, before he had to worry about such an awful interview, Perry decided to spend a couple days in his apartment. His arm was still a tad sore and he was craving some alone time to recharge his ever shrinking tolerance level.

The man quickly changed into comfier clothes, made himself a glass of hot tea, and settled into the couch to watch a little television. Perfect, his favorite soap-opera was on. Although busy Danville bustled through the thin walls of the apartment without stop, the man enjoyed a little time just to relax and drink his tea.

Once he had calmed a bit, Perry opened his closet and searched for his iPod to put on some music before bed. As he dug through his things, his hand brushed over something smooth. Curious, the man pulled out the heavy object from beneath a heap of coat hangars.

_Inside an Evil Mind: The Dr. Wexler Story._

The book was worn, and carried many notes and scribbles along the margins. Perry flipped through the pages, almost from muscle memory, and opened up to a quote he’d circled and underlined many times.

“ _My advice to those who deal with the direct denial of everyone around you, to those who feel the hatred, mockery, and fear from the crowd, and yes, even from friends and family. Revel in it. Revel in the hate. For evil begins with the pain and suffering of a broken heart.”_

That paragraph had meant a lot to him, back in the day.

Suddenly feeling very uncomfortable thinking about his past, the man returned the book to its spot and pushed some of the boxes back. It was ridiculous that he would keep such a controversial object in his apartment, but he just couldn’t seem to part with it.

His serene mood now completely obliterated, Perry grabbed his iPod and made his way to bed.

When he opened the door, he stopped. His instincts began to ring warning bells. Something was off.

He surveyed the room for a second, eyes peering menacingly at each object. The nightstand was definitely moved. No, wait, his whole bed had been moved, and been attempted to put back.

Paranoid, the agent began inspecting all around the bed, above and below. He pulled out all the sheets, felt every single corner, and covered every inch of his nightstand. He wasn’t sure what he had thought was there, but chills were firing up and down his spine.

Infuriated, the man tore through every corner of his bedroom, until he found what he had dreaded.

A camera.

Perry bit down a spike of anger that rose in his chest and carefully pulled the camera from its place in the wall. There were no cables. So wireless, then. Sighing, he grabbed a screwdriver and unhinged the back of the device, carefully observing its wiring.

There was no SD card to remove, but he did find a USB port. The platypus plugged in his computer and downloaded as much of the data as he could. Then, he cautiously stuck a tracker in the camera, hoping the perpetrator would be stupid enough to try and access the device, and accidentally give away their location.

Upon inspecting every inch of his apartment, it became clear that there had only been the one camera. The platypus ran his hands through his hair, frustrated. He grabbed his phone.

“Hello?” Lyla responded groggily. “Agent P., do you have any idea what time it is?”

“I just found a camera that were placed in my apartment earlier today.”

“What??” The girl jumped. “A camera?”

“Yes. I installed some of its data, and put in a tracker to see if I can find the one responsible. But all of the data is encrypted.”

“Are you sending them to O.W.C.A.?” Lyla asked.

Perry pursed his lips. “You know I can’t do that. They can’t find out my secret, not yet. I was wondering if you would help me. They look like wireless IP security cameras. Can you decipher the encryption in this data?”

“It’d be a long shot, but I’ll see what I can do.” The girl yawned. “I’m leaving for Florida tomorrow, so I’ll swing your way.”

“Thank you.”

Unfortunately, Perry didn’t think he could sleep with the camera lurking in the corner, and ended up sneaking back in Phineas and Ferb’s room.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Today was the day. The day of the interview.

According to Carl, Dr. Gevaarlijk had an “office” on the outskirts of Danville, near an older side of town. That, or she was renting it from a colleague. Nevertheless, Perry found her “office” to appear more like a self-righteous evil lair.

The architecture appeared as if it had been designed in the 19th century, with huge pillars and creepy statues lined up the walkway. A giant bell tower highlighted the pointed roof, which looked much like a witch's hat to the platypus.

Perry grabbed the door handle and yanked it open, cringing at the loud creaking sound it made. The inside was furnished with red and black and marble, adding a dramatic flair to the room.

Perry approached the front desk, black hair falling in his face, fidgeting with his fingers.

The receptionist looked up at him with a glare. “Your name is?” She snapped.

_Bitch._

Perry handed her a card with his name, “Timothy Gerland” and address on it.

The woman lowered her pointed nose into a stack of papers, taking her sweet time flipping through them. "Ah.. Second hallway on the right. Room number 106."

Perry raised an eyebrow, but continued on his way. He felt like he was walking into a school exam.

The hallways carried the same "Disney villain" kind of vibe, with strange paintings of dead people hanging on the walls, surrounded by red curtains. The old building smell made the agent sick to his stomach.

Was it normal for evil scientists to have office jobs?

The agent stopped in front of Room 106 and put his hand on the door handle. The cold metal sent a shiver down his spine. Perry took a deep breath, set his mind into focus, and opened the door.

Dr. Gevaarlijk was seated at a huge desk, surrounded by stacks of paper neatly spread across her right side. To her left, she had rows of pens perfectly parallel to one another.

"Come in." She spoke abruptly, without looking up from her work.

Perry noticed the lack memorabilia, or pictures of loved ones in her office; not even so much as a house plant. He tiptoed hesitantly to the desk, sat, and waited for her to speak.

Several minutes later, the woman looked up from her work, set it aside, and flashed him with that all-too-familiar piercing gaze. Perry stared back with just as determined a demeanor, unwilling to let himself be fazed by this scientist. Or whatever she was.

After a few seconds, Dr. Gevaarlijk smirked and placed a piece of paper in front of him. "Here's some important information about my school. Have you ever been to Drusselstein?"

_Unfortunately._

Perry shook his head.

"Only some of the most elite have attended and graduated our evil science program. You'd learn a great deal."

Perry opened the packet and took a skim of its contents. They seemed to be ordinary college papers, descriptive, and focused on price and experience. Nothing of particular interest popped out at Perry. He looked up from the packet, and did his best not to jump as he caught her stare again. Did the woman ever blink?

“Tell me, my dear. What motivates you?”

Perry swallowed. Was this a test? He decided to continue to let her lay down her play. He shrugged his shoulders.

“I think there’s more to than you’re letting on. I see the thirst, Mr. Gerland. The want for revenge. It bleeds off you like a bad smell.”

Perry, who had been twirling his hands in his lap, felt them began to sweat. She was bating him to read between the lines of her very vague accusations, but he wasn’t sure what he was interpreting.

_Stay focused, agent!_

The woman smirked again and folded her hands across the desk. She seemed to be heavily debating how to continue.

“I’ll let you in on a secret.” She finally answered, taking another document from one of the stacks and handing it him. “We are looking for someone special. Someone to help us take down our most powerful enemies once and for all.”

Perry let his mouth hang open just a bit. What did that mean?

“Consider my school, Mr. Gerland, and perhaps you will find more purpose in this world than you think..”

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Perry wasn’t exactly sure what had happened during that “interview.” It seemed to be more of a physiological test than anything else. The agent felt as if he’d just walked into danger without really knowing what he was up against. He didn’t like those kinds of battles.

The last document Dr. Gevaarlijk had left him simply listed another time and date, with no context of any kind. So what now? Did the agency want him to seriously consider this undercover operation?

Major Monogram listened to his report with a pensive expression, and left the silence hang in thought as Perry finished.

“This is quite an interesting report, Agent P.” The man finally sighed. “I’m not sure if we should believe these are intended lies, or true evidence. But we must not take any chances. If Dr. Gevaarlijk and her team are truly trying to find some sort of ‘super soldier,’ we will need to initiate more investigations.”

Perry opened his beak to protest, but the major held up his hand. “Don’t worry, Agent P, I’m not sending you to Drusselstein. You’ve done great work here. I will have other agents take it on from here.”

Perry nodded in relief. The last thing he wanted to do was uproot his life yet again.


	9. Chapter 9

Doofenshmirtz, once again, asked for Perry to be his server. But this time, the platypus didn’t mind half as much, since the man was now being civil and willing to tip.

The servers actually found the whole thing to be a big joke, claiming Perry was the “nightmare customer whisperer” and laughing about how he always made sure everything was perfect. Perry laughed along with them, simply glad to just be there and feel normal for once.

Doofenshmirtz had a whole book of blueprints before him when Perry set down his water, lemon-less, and his coffee, decaffeinated.

“Hey, I didn’t catch your name last time.”

Perry swung his tray into the crook of his armpit and, with a small smile, offered his right hand. “Michael. And yours, Sir?”

“Heinz.”

“How are you?” Perry inclined, genuinely curious about the man’s answer. The scientist had been on hiatus for a few days now.

“Fine, I suppose. My ex-wife and I finally made up, but I think my daughter still hates me. Do you mind if I show you my latest evil invention? Feel free to tell me what you think.”

_Doofenshmirtz wanted his thoughts? Well, that was certainly new, for a guy he’d basically just ‘met’._

“It’s called the Get-Your-Wires-Crossed-Inator! When I hit someone with it, they immediately begin starting arguments with everyone they know!” Doofenshmirtz admitted proudly.

Perry studied the device’s design, since he never really got the chance to as an agent. His calculations and scientific conclusions were flawless, as Perry had expected. The man’s machines usually did work, and almost always accurately.

Perry glanced upwards. “It looks pretty cool to me. What are you planning to do with it?”

“Well, I was going to wait for my nemesis tomorrow, but I guess I can tell you too. Basically, I’m going to shoot my brother with it, and watch as he literally tears Danville apart with his incessant arguing. He’ll be the most hated man in town! And then I, Heinz Doofenshmirtz, can take over as leader!”

The tables behind were giving them snooty looks, annoyed at Doofenshmirtz’s bellowing.

Perry smirked. “I’m not sure if that’s how that works.”

Doofenshmirtz pouted. “I have poor planning skills, I know.”

Perry promptly rang in Doofenshmirtz’s order and delivered it, making sure it was exactly to the man’s liking. He let the scientist study his blueprints as he took care of a couple extra tables. Doofenshmirtz was already lost in his own little world when Perry took his empty plates away. A weird, warm feeling settled in the pit of his stomach, and without thinking twice, the agent pulled out his card and paid for the bill.

He returned to Doofenshmirtz after a few minutes and offered him a water to-go, which the man declined.

“Do you have my bill ready? I’ve got to head out in a few minutes.”

The man smiled. “It’s taken care of.”

Doofenshmirtz’s mouth dropped, looking like a fish out of water. “Who?..”

“My treat.” The agent smirked. He loved making the man speechless like that. “Good luck with your inator.”

When Perry returned, he found a fifty dollar bill laying on the table. Smirking, the platypus picked it up and shook his head.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

“Curse you, Perry the Platypus!”

With a smirk, Perry jumped off Doofenshmirtz’s balcony, content to let the man sink in his defeat. At least the apartment hadn’t completely blown up this time.

When he returned his hover-car to his lair, however, he noticed a tiny sticky note attached to the passenger’s seat. Curious, the platypus picked it up and squinted at the dainty handwriting.

_Please meet me at the junkyard. 7:00 PM._  
_I need your help._

_Vanessa_

Alarmed, Perry folded the paper and stuck it in a pocket in his fedora. Vanessa must be deep in trouble if she was contacting him for help. Either that, or she was pulling a wall over his eyes. Did he trust her?

As the agent returned to the Flynn-Fletcher’s house for dinner, he decided he would go, but take a few weapons just in case. The worry cycling in the pit of his stomach was too loud to ignore.

Phineas and Ferb spent a couple hours including Perry in their nightly card games, pretending he was playing and picking cards for him. Of course, the cards were actually equipped with scanners that connected to all the playing cards in their friend’s houses, and allowed them all to play together.  
About fifteen till seven, Perry decided he had stalled enough, and snuck out of the house. Still a platypus with his fedora on, he flew away in his jetpack.

Just as she promised, Vanessa was hiding in the back corner of the junkyard, pacing, with a stressed demeanor. Before making contact, Perry scoured the area, looking for other living forms, but found no one. So it was just her. Good.

He landed his jetpack just a couple feet from her invisible track.

“guyrururururururur.”

“Perry!” Vanessa gasped. “Thank goodness. I’m sorry for the short notice, I just really needed to see you.”

Perry set his jetpack on the ground and approached her, eyebrows raised.

“You don’t want to talk in your human form?”

It was a loaded question. Perry half-way regretted letting his identity slip in front of her, and was not at all comfortable giving her more details. On the other hand, she had kept her word by hiding the secret from her father.

Sighing, the agent removed the micro-chip from his watch and shivered as his human DNA took center stage. Transformed, the agent took a step back and leaned against a broken down car, still intensely watching the girl.

“That’s still amazing.” Vanessa breathed. “Cool snakebites.”

The man smirked, but made no further comment. “I assume you’re in trouble?”

It took Vanessa a moment to snap out of her trance as she heard him speak, but Perry waited. Blushing sheepishly, the girl nodded. “I know you said not to contact them, but it doesn’t work like that.”

“What do you mean?”

Vanessa shook her head. “Look, Perry, I didn’t mean for it to go this far. I honestly thought they were cool when I first met them. And now they’re sharing with me their ‘big plans’ to take over the world.. blah, blah, blah. I tried to get them to see reason, but they threatened me.”

Perry’s blood ran cold. “Threatened you?”

“Yeah. They said they’d hurt me if I tried to stop them.” Vanessa sighed sadly. “And I actually thought one of the boys was cute..”

“They aren’t good kids. They will lead you down a dangerous path.” Perry warned. “I’ve been right so far.”

“I know. That’s why I asked to meet you. If I tell you what they’re planning to do, will you stop them? You know, foil their evil scheme?”

The agent raised an eyebrow, pondering her request. He really wanted to tell her that he would skip the undercover work and beat the crap out of them just for threatening her, but held his tongue. Beating up a bunch of minors would not go over well with the agency. Plus, he wanted to keep Vanessa’s name out of it as much as possible.

He sighed. “I will. But you have to promise me to be careful. Here, take this.”

He handed her a small wrist watch, with a single button on the side. “It’s an emergency beacon. Press it, and I’ll be alerted to your location. It’s only for emergencies, but if anything, and I mean anything, goes wrong, you call.”

Vanessa took the watch and smiled. “Thank you. I promise I will. That’s not the only reason I asked to see you, though.”

_Oh?_

“What is, then?”

“I want you to give me combat training.”

Of all things the girl could have requested, being taught how to fight was not one Perry had been expecting. But as he stared at the girl, he clearly saw that gleam of determination that literally defined Vanessa.

However, the agent retained a calm demeanor. “That’s quite a request.”

“I realized, after that night.. that I need to know how to protect myself. If you hadn’t been there..” She trailed off. Her face had gone slightly pale at the thought.

Vanessa Doofenshmirtz sounded so genuine, but Perry still had his internal doubts. Perhaps it was the secret agent in him, but something still didn’t feel right. Was this really all coming from Vanessa?

But giving her “lessons” would also allow him to keep a closer look out on her.

“This would have to be something discussed with your father, at the very least.”

“Why?” Vanessa snapped. “I don’t need his permission.”

Perry held up his hand. “I’m not saying you aren’t mature enough to handle the training. But you are still a minor. Even if he is my nemesis, I’m not going behind his back on something like this.”

Vanessa grumbled. “I know he’s going to say no.”

“Then let me talk to him.” Perry blurted before he thought about it.

The girl looked up, eyes suddenly wide. “Really?”

Perry shrugged. “I think I could show him reason. I’ll do it, as long as you promise my ‘human identity’ still remains a secret.”

“I can handle that.” Vanessa said, now smiling.

Although Perry was glad to see the smile now crossing the girl’s face, his mind was already racing. How, exactly, was he supposed to bring this up in conversation, especially when he couldn’t talk in front of Heinz?

Inwardly cursing himself for his willingness, the platypus flew off in his jetpack and returned to the Flynn-Fletcher household. The boys were already fast asleep when he snuck onto the blankets.

 


	10. Chapter 10

Vanessa kept her hands in her pockets. As she and Lacie drove down to the junkyard, it seemed to burn a hole against her skin.

Perry the Platypus was clever. But Vanessa Doofenshmirtz prided herself in her ability to always stay one step ahead. Maybe she did have something of an “evil genius” streak after all.

Orville and his gang greeted them as always. They lounged on old cardboard boxes and discarded metal tins, with large rolls of blueprints laid out before them.

“So, did you get it?”

Vanessa sighed, but flung the keycard in his direction. Grabbing it from Perry’s hat had been easier that she’d thought, now that she knew he was human. The other evil scientist kids oohed and awed as Orville held up the prize.

“Not bad for a girl.” He smirked. “Now that we have access into O.W.C.A.’s headquarters, we can start our plan of revenge, and finally give all our parents the victories they deserve.”

Todd, a short, young man with piercings all along his face, let out a low chuckle. “Please, we all know you’re just trying to impress your daddy. Think he’s going to make you king of the world one day or something?”

“Shut up, you blockhead.” Orville snapped, readjusting his glasses. “This is our chance to prove that evil scientists are not ones to be messed with! Who’s with me?”

Vanessa didn’t say much through the rest of their scheming. In all honestly, she’d joined this group of friends to get away from all this nonsense. Now, they were walking her right into the middle of it.

But Orville’s thinly veiled threats echoed in her head and she kept her mouth shut. She had to find a way out of this mess, without Perry finding out, else her whole secret would be blown.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

  
Perry and Lyla decided to meet early in the evening at a bar in downtown Danville to review his laptop. They didn’t say much as Lyla began attacking the code, attempting to hack through.

The platypus sat, beer in hand, and watched as she worked.

It didn’t take long for the girl to give an excited yelp and tap his shoulder to pay attention. They watched together as video feed from a few days ago began to play, displaying a hooded figure installing the camera around two in the morning. The figure’s mouth and chin were visible, but their face was covered, making their identity impossible to figure out.

“That’s just plain freaky.” Lyla muttered.

Perry watched himself entering his bedroom, noticing something was off, and scrambling through all his stuff to find the camera. The platypus frowned. There was no way they didn’t suspect he had noticed it, even if he had made sure to be invisible to the camera when he inspected it.

“I’m sure they’ve abandoned the camera by now.” Lyla shrugged. “Have you checked the tracker?”

“Yes. No movement yet.”

Lyla put a hand on his shoulder and smiled sadly. “Are you sure you don’t need anything, partner? Obviously there’s someone out there that is willing to go great lengths to spy on you. They even know where you live. It’s not safe..”

“I will be fine, Lyla.” Perry snapped. “I’m not daft.”

“I still think you should alert O.W.C.A.”

“You know why I can’t do that.”

“Is it really such a bad thing that the agency knows you are actually human? What do you think they’ll do, fire you? You’re the best they got!”

_If only you knew who I used to be, Lyla. Then you’d understand._

But Perry only stubbornly shook his head. “It is my wish to keep it this way, so I will. I don’t know what other way to explain.”

The Canadian agent frowned, but didn’t push him any further. Perry breathed a sigh of relief. He just wanted to find the creep who installed the cameras and punch them a few times over.

“This data actually wasn’t very hard to crack.” The girl observed as an afterthought. “Even if we are dealing with a creep, I think they’re a rookie at best, working on a very low budget. The question is, who would that be?”

Perry pondered over the idea for a moment, feeling very constricted and helpless all of a sudden, as he had no answer to give her.

Lyla didn’t stay much longer, apologizing that she had to get to Florida the next day. Perry curtly thanked her for coming, which earned him a playful punch in the arm and a giant bear hug. The platypus never knew how to respond to her brash outbursts of affection, but tried to be nice and awkwardly hugged her back.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

The week flew by uneventfully. Perry had tried several times to bring up Vanessa’s strange request to his nemesis, but every moment he picked, it just didn’t seem right, or it was swept away by Heinz’s apparent, never-ending energy.

Maybe he should just write him a letter. Or send a comment on his blog.

Nonetheless, the platypus kept the thought in the back of his mind. Friday rolled around quicker than he expected, and pretty soon, he was driving to Vintage Docks once more. However, he wasn’t looking forward to this particular shift.

The platypus inwardly cringed at the way he’d acted in front of Doofenshmirtz last week. Baiting him might have been explainable, but paying for his dinner? Although he hadn’t noticed it at the time, his actions were more than over-the-line, they were borderline flirtatious. It would be even more embarrassing if the man had interpreted it that way.

At least the scientist wasn’t into other men.

The servers greeted him with a set of smiles and hellos. Apparently, the lunch crowd had been quite larger than normal, and the staff was wondering if they’d have an extra pop that night. Perry put on his apron, made sure his station was prepped for the evening, and waited for the crowd to arrive.

At about 6:30, right on cue, Doofenshmirtz walked in the door and sat at his usual table. The hostess approached him and claimed he had asked for “Michael” and she figured it was probably him. Thanking her, the agent decided to greet the man with the same “customer service” mask that he usually used on his tables.

The water and coffee were already in his hands as he approached the table.

“Thanks.” Doofenshmirtz nodded as the platypus set his beverages down. Perry noticed the man also had no blueprints or novels with him. Interesting. Perhaps he only had time for a quick meal.

“Same as usual?”

The scientist nodded, and Perry briskly waltzed away to put in his order. He actions were rather cold and emotionless, but the agent didn’t want the man to get the wrong idea.

He brought the scientist his food, asked him if he needed anything else, then disappeared to greet another table.

“You need anything, Perry?” Tammy asked him as he was grabbing a loaf of bread from the kitchen.

“I'm alright. Do you?”

  
“No.” She smiled. “I just wondered. You seem distracted. And I can’t help but notice that weird customer that keeps looking at you. Maybe he thinks you’re cute.” She beamed.

Perry groaned. He did not need this kind of observation. But Tammy was already walking away, still laughing, as he went to retort.

When Perry brought out the check, Doofenshmirtz finally spoke up. “Do you eat here often?”

“Pardon me?”

“Here. Do you usually eat here, between shifts?”

The platypus raised an eyebrow. “Yeah. I believe it’s good food. Why do you ask? Getting tired of salmon?”

“No.. I just wondered if you’d ever tried the bar across the street. I heard they have really good hamburgers.”

Now both of the agent’s eyebrows were raised. He honestly wasn’t sure how to respond, but reminded himself not to react. Shrugging, he said, “I haven’t. I suppose it would be worth a try.”

“Would you like to go with me sometime?”

Perry almost dropped the plates he was holding. What was the man getting at? Had Perry really given him the wrong signals?

_Remember, the man is straight. There’s no way._

So friends, then. But still, why did he want to be friends?

Perry opened his mouth to wriggle out some poor excuse, but the words got caught in his throat when he looked at the doctor’s face. It was filled with such reservation, as if he was almost certain Perry would say no, but a small glimmer of hope shone through that made Perry’s defense falter. Without thinking he replied, “Yeah. I’d like that.”

_Damn it. Why was he so stupid?_

Beaming, the doctor wrote down his number and handed it to him. “Just let me know when. I’m open.”

Perry took the piece of paper, and all but scurried back to the kitchen, certain he was red in the face. He dumped the dirty plates at dish and busied himself with other tables, hoping neither the doctor, nor the servers, would notice his anxiety.

Again, Doofenshmirtz left him a generous tip. But Perry no longer felt pride from receiving it.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

When Perry returned to the Flynn-Fletcher household, everyone was already in bed. Apparently, the parents had to head out early for an all-day trip across the state, and had begged their children to provide some quiet.

Perry smiled endearingly when he found the boys camped out in a homemade tent in their room. It spanned across the whole room, over their beds, and was supported by stacks of book and CDs. It seemed very basic for a Phineas and Ferb idea, but Perry decided it was probably for the sake of their parents.

The platypus wriggled underneath the blankets and let out his usual chatter.

“Oh, there you are, Perry. Like the tent?”

The platypus simply starred, but felt his emotions internally answer the question.

The boys had two computers open on the floor, and were typing away on a program that Perry couldn’t understand. It seemed to be some kind of generated map of the whole globe.

“Baljeet was really nice to let us use this.” Phineas commented offhandedly. “Any luck?”

Ferb simply shook his head. Perry noted the disappointed expression that crossed Phineas’ face.

“We just have to keep looking. He has to be somewhere.”

_He?_

The two boys sat in silence; the tapping of the keys became the only filler in the room. Perry watched them intensely, trying not to seem overly keen, but despite his best effort, couldn’t make out what it was they were looking for. Any noise from the rest of the house- a creak, a thud, a whisper- made them flinch and turn to look at the door.

_What are you up to, Phineas and Ferb?_

After a couple of hours of useless results, the boys finally set their computers aside and moved to their beds to fall asleep. They didn’t make any more comments on the subject, but Perry began to get an uneasy feeling. If they were intentionally hiding this from their parents, then it was something more dangerous than rollercoasters.

  
Great, more children he had to keep an eye on.


	11. Chapter 11

Perry’s hands were covering his head. There were no windows and no doors, just four walls, and a sea of darkness that engulfed him completely. The only remnants of an outside world were loud, thunderous bangs that kept pounding from outside. They were growing louder.

Someone was coming.

Perry wanted to scream; he knew what was about to happen. But the cries stuck in his throat like peanut butter. He cowered in the back corner, quivering, as the thuds vibrated the entire room, and the walls around him grew bigger and bigger.

A giant hand slammed the door open and grabbed him by the throat. Perry struggled, but to no avail. Deep laughter reverberated off the walls as Perry was pushed to the ground, strapped down and forced to stare into bright lights.

Cords were being attached to his limbs and forehead. He spasmed.

_“No! No! Please..no..Dad..”_

_“Shut up, worthless freak.”_

A switch was pulled. The laughter grew louder and louder as Perry screamed from the sheer pain of electrocution.

It was unbearable, and it wouldn’t stop. He screamed and screamed and screamed, while the man above him laughed with every jolt.

“NO!”

Perry bolted awake, hands drawn to his side as if grabbing for a weapon. Two faces were squished in his close proximity, frightening him. He squeaked and cowered underneath the bed.

It took a few minutes for the platypus to realize he was a platypus. And hiding under Ferb’s bed.

_It was just a nightmare. Calm down, agent._

“What’s wrong, boy?” Phineas cooed, reaching down to pick him up. Perry swallowed the anxiety that was still pounding through his system and allowed himself to be carried. Both boys sat in silence, holding him and petting his fur.

Perry shamelessly enjoyed the attention for a minute. A part of his mind was still caught in that horrible nightmare and he couldn’t stop shivering.

After a few minutes, once his heart rate was back to normal, Phineas let him down and motioned for him to come downstairs to eat breakfast. Suddenly noticing his extreme hunger, the agent happily obliged.

Ferb poured him a bowl of food, then joined his brother at the kitchen table, where both his parents were reading the newspaper.

“Hey mom,” Phineas spoke, “I think Perry had a really bad nightmare.”

“Pour little guy.” Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher commented. “At least he’s eating.”

“I’m worried.” Phineas continued. “Maybe we should take him to the vet? He wouldn’t stop shivering.”

“Hm..” The mother sighed. “If he starts acting strange later today, we’ll take him to the vet.”

“Thanks, Mom.” Phineas smiled. With one last affectionate smile in Perry’s direction, he grabbed a box of cereal and began pouring himself a helping.

Perry gulped down his food, feeling the affects of the anxiety beginning to wear off as he focused his mind on trying to forget it. It’d been awhile since he’d had a proper nightmare. Usually, the DNA chip that allowed himself to become a platypus put his brain in a less complex state, keeping the nightmares at a distance. Why had he suddenly had that nightmare now?

He shivered. He honestly didn’t want to think about it.

Before long, the boys were out tinkering and having fun, leaving Perry plenty of space to answer a call from headquarters.

The platypus landed in his lair with a smooth thud. As predicted, Major Monogram was positioned and waiting for him- except that his mustache had been completely removed. Perry tried his best not to stare.

“Good morning, Agent P. And yes, before you say anything, I shaved my mustache. I just figured it was time for a new look, plus, with it being summer, this thing gets super hot.”

“I, for one, think you look lovely, Sir.”

“No one asked for your opinion, Carl.” The major barked. “Anywho. We recently discovered intel that Doofenshmirtz just bought an entire tub of Nutella. And I don’t mean like the gallon size you can buy over the internet, I mean a tub of Nutella big enough to feed every citizen in Danville for a week. Provided they don’t have a peanut allergy.”

Perry raised his eyebrows. “We don’t know what he’s doing with all that sugar, but it definitely cannot be something good. Find out what he’s up to, and put a stop to it.”

The agent saluted.

  
Danville was baking in a hot oven as Perry flew off to Doof’s apartment. The platypus had already begun to sweat. Hopefully his nemesis would not be planning his evil scheme outside.

When the agent arrived, he dived onto a closed window and pried it open. He landed inside, expecting a trap of some sort, but nothing jumped to grab or trap him. It didn’t take long for Perry to notice the loud voices emanating from the other side of the room.

“Vanessa, Sweetheart, I’m just trying to help-“

“Look, Dad, I know you are, and I think you have every right to be mad at Mom, but this stress is just making me feel so-“

“Aww, Pumpkin, you’re stressed? Why don’t we just go to the park and spend some quality time together?”

  
“Dad, you’re not listening-“

“You used to love going to the park. We can take a walk, get some hot dogs..”

“Dad.”

Vanessa’s face was going redder and redder by the minute. Perry decided if he didn’t intervene, he might not be the only one giving his nemesis bruises that day. The agent knocked over a stack of books and looked expectantly at Doofenshmirtz.

“Ah, Perry the Platypus, you’re just in time!”

A rope trap sprung up from the ground and mounted to the wall, leaving him suspended.

“Just in time to be trapped.. Aha!”

Vanessa folded her arms and rolled her eyes, muttering to herself as she stormed off to her room. Doofenshmirtz didn’t notice, now completely focused on the moment.

“Now, Perry the Platypus, behold.. the Too-Much-Of-A-Good-Thing-Inator!”

Perry stared.

“I know, the name needs work. But you know how people always say, ‘there can be too much of a good thing’?” Doofenshmirtz mimicked. “Ugh, my parents used to say that to me over and over, it makes me sick! Soooo…

Once I fire my inator, whatever I shoot, will instantly triple! Thereby giving everyone too much of a good thing! That way, I can finally give payback ahaha! And it’s also powered by huge quantities of Nutella!”

Perry kept staring. He had no words. Doofenshmirtz’s evil schemes had been trickling down to mere instances of petty inspiration; perhaps it was something he should mention in his next report.

“Alright, my machine is almost ready.” Doof commented, digging in a box of wires. “Hey, Vanessa, have you seen the remote?”

No answer. Heinz’s eyes darted around, but when he was met with an empty room, he frowned. “You know, Perry the Platypus, I’ve been trying so hard to make it up to her. But she still doesn’t want to spend time with me.”

Perry sighed. Vanessa did seem a little distant. Had she told anybody about that night?

A beeped noise distracted the man, who hurriedly grabbed the remote and aimed his inator into place.

“Say goodbye to your ‘good things’, Danville!”

The agent wasted no time in pulling out a pocketknife and slicing the rope from underneath him. Immediately, Perry jumped on the doctor and pushed him to the ground. “Hey!”

Doof grabbed a metal pipe from the ground and started swinging at him. The platypus ducked his blows with ease, jumping from one position to the next before landing on top of his nemesis’ machine. In a heated moment, Doofenshmirtz swung the pipe right at him, but hit his inator instead when Perry jumped out of the way. The machine began to overheat and began firing randomly.

“Uh oh. That can’t be good.”

Alarmed, the platypus jumped back on top of the inator and began pulling wires. It was swerving too violently for him to hold on too long. He fell to the floor with a thud. The machine still didn’t stop.

Doofenshmirtz was frantically pressing buttons on his remote, while running in circles around the apartment. Perry forced himself to get up and grab the machine. He swung his tail at the control panel, broke it open, and pulled out the power button.

Thankfully, the machine stopped. Perry breathed a sigh of relief.

Doofenshmirtz stopped running and crossed his arms. “Ugh. Curse you, Perry the Platypus.”

Screws and wires were displaced everywhere. Plus, the inator had hit a few things in the apartment, causing enormous piles of them to erupt everywhere, leaving a huge mess. Perry actually felt a little bad for him. Maybe he could stay.

And maybe sneak in permission for Vanessa’s request.

He chattered, causing Doof to turn around.

“What is it, Perry the Platypus? You can go- my inator is toast.”

The agent gestured to the mess with raised eyebrows.

“Really?” The doctor scratched his head. “You want to help clean up?”

Perry nodded. His nemesis seemed to debate it, but finally shrugged his shoulders. “If you insist.”

The two immediately began working on sweeping up all the spare parts and shoving them in trash bags. Doofenshmirtz scoffed at the piles of couches that lay stacked in the left corner. “What does a person even do with so many couches?”

As Perry finished up the last pile, he decided now was as good a time as any to ask his nemesis Vanessa’s request. He cringed. After the words the man and his daughter had had with each other earlier, it seemed so inappropriate. But he couldn’t keep putting it off.

He tugged on the man’s lab coat and held up a piece of paper.

“Hm? What’s this?”

The man opened up, and immediately, his eyes shot wide open. “Is this a joke?”

Perry shook his head, and motioned into the hall where he knew Vanessa’s room was located. The scientist ran over and knocked on the girl’s door. Before she had a moment to speak, he blurted, “You want to learn combat?? From my nemesis?”

Vanessa sighed. “Oh, Dad, you’re making it seem more dramatic than it is..”

“My daughter wants to learn how to fight like some, some, good guy..”

“Dad, please, I don’t want to be some bodybuilder O.W.C.A. agent, I just think it’s good that I know how to, you know, protect myself. And don’t you trust Perry?”

Doofenshmirtz stared back at where Perry was observing the spectacle. For a moment, his eyes narrowed, but it was only a moment. Finally, the man let out a long sigh and leaned against the bedroom wall.

“I must be crazy, but yes. Fine. But I have to be present.”

Vanessa grabbed her dad in a bear hug. “See? I knew you were cool!”

Perry smirked at the way Doof’s face reddened.

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

Perry had agreed to give combat lessons. And now, he was starting to regret it.

Sure, he’d been through O.W.C.A.’s training program and was considered one of the best in the organization, but he’d never tried to teach anyone, especially as a platypus. Since Doofenshmirtz would be present, there was no way he could teach her as a human. Lacking the basic tools for communication would make this task very difficult.

_Remember, you’re doing this for Vanessa. Mission: find out her real intentions. Operation: Teenagers._

They were hosting the “lessons” in Doofenshmirtz’s apartment, much to Vanessa’s discouragement. She’d argued, but her father had insisted he needed to watch at all times. Perry pretended to ignore the annoyed looks she sent his way for suggesting they include her father in the decision.

Perry set up a stereo and let Vanessa pick the music. She put on a band Perry was not familiar with, though the platypus would have called it screaming more than singing. Doofenshmirtz watched from the couch across the room, leaning forwards and staring with a dramatic intensity. Perry decided to try and ignore him.

The platypus motioned for Vanessa to follow his movements, and began easing through a series of stretches meant to help prevent strained muscles. She watched him like a hawk, taking in every little detail and applying it to the best of her ability.

_Not bad._

“Whoo! Go Vanessa!” Doofenshmirtz cheered from the background.

Vanessa looked as if she wanted to retort, but at the last minute, bit back her comment.

Once they were finished, the platypus motioned for her to once more follow his body. He slowly walked her through a couple punching moves, then held out his hand, prompting her to repeat them. She did. Perry shook his head and widened her stance a little.

Vanessa looked down at him as she was locking in her position. “Thank you for doing this, by the way.”

Perry nodded curtly. _We have to tread carefully, Vanessa._

But then again, was Doofenshmirtz really that big of a threat? What would change if his nemesis suddenly discovered the agent had a human identity? Call O.W.C.A.? Blackmail him?

As he showed Vanessa the punching move again, he briefly thought about the invitation Doofenshmirtz had given him the last they’d seen each other at the restaurant. So what if they were friends off the clock? Did it really matter?

But he squashed those questions as quickly as he thought them. His human identity was already compromised, and if anyone found out about his past, evil scientists or O.W.C.A., he was as good as dead. It was bad enough Vanessa knew.

It had to stay secret.

Biting his beak, the agent forced his mind to the present and finished his little session with Vanessa. Her eyes were fired up by the end, and the girl almost seemed disappointed when Perry called it quits.

Perry took a quick peak at Doofenshmirtz, who was clearly still uncomfortable with the whole thing, but obviously thought Vanessa’s sudden hugs and smiles were worth it.

_Well, that was more uneventful than he thought it would be._

As Perry drove home on his motorcycle, though the warm summer wind was blowing through his fur, his mind was in pieces. Despite being in platypus form, worries and anxieties began to plague him. How long could he keep this up?

He passed by Lawrence Flynn-Fletcher’s antique store, ducking his head to make sure the man didn’t accidentally see them.

As he did, he noticed another motorcycle, ridden by a large man in all black, following him down the road. His instincts tingled. Suddenly feeling paranoid, the platypus turned down a different road and made a large U-turn, going back towards Doofenshmirtz’s apartment.

It took a second, but the motorcycle did the same, following him from a short difference. It was confirmed then; he did have a stalker.

Maybe this is the guy who put that camera in my apartment.

Feeling bile rise in his throat, Perry slowed and kept a close eye on the man behind him. His stalker was getting further and further behind. Obviously the man knew Perry was onto him, and was trying to disappear.

Suddenly angry, the platypus darted into a small alleyway and made another abrupt U-turn. He waited at the end of the road, watching for the man. As soon as he saw the gleam of the black motorcycle, he pressed into the accelerator.

The man swerved from Perry’s sudden movement, which threw him off balance. He almost fell over, but caught his foot on the road and pushed upwards. Perry chased him, now immediately parallel to the motorcycle.

They moved onto the public road. Despite this, the stranger pulled sideways, hoping to ram Perry over. Perry dodged, but almost hit another car, having to pull a couple lanes over to avoid hitting anyone.

He could hear sirens in the distance. Great.

Perry managed to merge lanes once again and catch up to the guy. He pulled out his grappling hook and hit the man on the side. He jerked and rammed into the sidewalk, crashing into the side of a building. Perry jumped off his motorcycle and pounced on him.

They struggled for a minute as the platypus tried to remove his mask. But the man was too strong, pushing him off with ease. He grabbed his coat and pulled out a smoke bomb, letting it off right in front of the agent. Perry’s eyes immediately began to burn, and he screamed. After a minute, before the platypus could push through the wall of smoke to try and catch him, the man was already gone.

Dammit.

The sirens were heading down that street. Sighing, Perry grabbed his motorcycle and fled before they questioned what an animal was doing operating a vehicle.

O.W.C.A. was going to have a fit.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Sure enough, Perry received a call from headquarters only ten minutes after the incident.

“Agent P, we just caught surveillance of you chasing and attacking a civilian on a motorcycle!” The major snapped. “It’s a good thing we were able to corrupt the footage before the police could get involved! What in heaven’s name were you doing?!”

Perry chattered apologetically. He knew his emotions had clouded his judgement.

Monogram let out a long sigh. “You have a spotless record, so I’m going to let this one slip by. But I want a report explaining your actions and a promise that you will think twice before endangering civilians like that. Understand?”

The platypus saluted.

“I want that report by tonight, mind. Monogram out.”

Well, at least the result had been less treacherous than he’d first assumed.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

“Honey, have you seen the boys?” Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher cried from the kitchen.

Perry watched as the father put down his bowl of chips. “What do you mean, darling?”

“Phineas and Ferb. They aren’t home. Have you seen them?”

“Well, I haven’t dear.” Mr. Flynn-Fletcher frowned, now setting down his book and meeting his wife in the living room. “That’s not like them. Have you tried calling?”

“Yes. They didn’t answer. Do you think-“

“Let’s not jump to conclusions. I’m sure they’re just at one of their friend’s houses. Let’s see if we can find them around the neighborhood.”

Candace crept down the stairs, her face completely red. “They aren’t here because they’re in space!”

“That isn’t funny, Candace. Not right now.” The mother snapped. The worry in her eyes was clear.

Candace protested, “No, really, they went to go harvest more ice cream with the cows they left on the moon last time, and—“

“Enough, Candace!” The mother shouted. “I don’t have time for this right now. Do me a favor and call anyone you know who might have seen them today!”

Candace crossed her arms as her parents darted out the door. Perry watched as she trudged back to her room and slammed into her bedroom. Sure enough, only about ten minutes later, Phineas and Ferb’s rocketship landed in their backyard.

  
Candace ran down to meet them. “Where have you been? You guys are so busted! Mom and Dad are driving around town, worried sick!”

“Oh, sorry.” Phineas sighed. “We didn’t realize how late it was. Time is quite different on the moon.”

All of the boy’s friends jumped off the ship.

“Hey, where’s Irving at mission control?” Phineas questioned. “And oh, there you are, Perry!”

“Who cares, I can’t wait until Mom and Dad see this!” Candace immediately called her parents and alerted them to the boy’s arrival. It wasn’t long before they pulled into the driveway.

At this point, the rocketship had already disappeared. Perry guessed it had been programmed to automatically jump back to the moon after a certain period of time, to wait for the boy’s next space adventure.

“See, Mom? See?”

Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher, already forgetting about Candace’s wild story, hurried over to her boys and grabbed them in a bear hug. “Where have you guys been?!”

“Sorry, Mom, we lost track of time.”

  
“Oh, alright boys, but promise me you will never do that again without calling! And all of you, contact your parents immediately. They are all very worried about you!”

“We promise!”

Perry followed the boy’s upstairs, but noticed the lack of ice cream they’d brought back with them. Maybe they hadn’t thought to bring any, but Perry found it rather odd. Were they trying to search for something in space?

He was thankful when Phineas and Ferb went straight to sleep.


	13. Chapter 13

Doofenshmirtz didn’t show up that next Friday night on his normal schedule. Perry convinced himself he wasn’t worried or disappointed and continued on with the night as usual. Surely the man had other matters to take care of.

Besides, after the last week’s debacle, Perry wasn’t sure he could handle another dose of Doofenshmirtz.

Thankfully, none of the servers seemed to notice his disheartened mood. Perry had a few guests that tipped pretty poorly, making the night an overall waste of time. By nine, he was looking forward to going home and jumping in bed.

However, Perry would never have guessed to see Heinz’s old pickup truck pulled up to the employee door when he walked out from his shift.

“Hey, Michael! I uh.. I know this is well, unprecedented..” The doctor’s cheeks were bright red. Perry noticed he had on a nice black jacket and a pair of denim jeans, obviously an outfit he reserved for special occasions only. And was that.. cologne?

“I didn’t know when you got off, and well, I didn’t have your number, and..” The scientist rambled on. “Well, do you want to come to that bar and grill for dinner with me?”

The platypus raised an eyebrow, but didn’t say anything for a minute. Of course his first instinct was to say no; what if they were identified, or worse, attacked? But Doofenshmirtz looked so nervous and hopeful, playing with his collar and messing with his hair. And the agent felt bad turning him down after the man had driven all the way over.

Would it really be so bad for him to have a fun night? Just once?

_Maybe I'll get some insight into his next evil scheme._

“Sure.” Perry smiled. “Mind if I change?”

“Of course not.”

Perry grabbed a backpack from his car and hurried back into the restaurant.

“Did you forget something?” His manager questioned.

“Oh, no.” He sighed. “Just wanted to change. Have a good night, Rafe!”

Thank goodness he always kept a spare change of clothes in his car, because his work apparel reeked of seafood and wine. His clothes weren’t very nice, just another black, long sleeved shirt and a pair of black cargo pants, but at least they smelled decent.

The agent snuck out of the restaurant again, pushed his work clothes into his car, and hopped into Doofenshmirtz’s passenger seat. He took in the scene; it was weird sitting in this car in his human height. Beside him was small seatbelt dangling in the middle.

“Oh, sorry about that.” Doofenshmirtz sighed, pushing it out of the way. “It’s for my nemesis.”

The platypus decided not to comment.

Heinz kept tapping his fingers against the steering wheel, and was obviously trying to come up with something to say. Perry, unsure what to say either, tried not to cringe at the silence that washed over them. Thankfully, the drive to the bar and grill wasn’t long.

The place was only about half full. Thankfully, the music wasn’t terribly loud, either. The two found a corner spot with ease and settled in. Immediately, a waiter came by and took their drink orders. Perry found it interesting that Doofenshmirtz settled for a Blue Moon. The man didn’t strike him as that type. Amused, the platypus decided to order the same.

“Do you need a moment to look at the menu?”

Heinz looked over at him, and the platypus gestured for the man to start. The doctor ordered a burger and a side of fries. Perry elected for the spicy barbecue chicken wings with a side of fries. Smiling, the waitress took their menus and promised to return with their beers.

“Is it weird for you to go to restaurants?” Doofenshmirtz blurted. “Since you work in one, and all?”

The man shrugged. “Not very. Although I’m sure I notice more than the average person.”

“Like what?”

“For example, they weren’t expecting a busy night, because all the servers seem to have four tables in their sections. And the bartender is definitely high.”

Heinz chuckled. “That’s funny. I never worked in a proper restaurant, but I did serve bratwurst on the streets once.”

“How did that go?”

“I got ridiculed a lot. And the money was awful. So, to answer your question, not very good at all.”

Why was the man such an adorable idiot?

The waitress suddenly returned with their beers. Perry lifted his up in good spirits and took a sip. He sighed; it’d been a long time since he’d had a proper beer.

Well, it’d been a long time since he’d been out, period.

Heinz took a sip of his as well and set the glass down. He appeared relatively calm, but Perry could hear the slight vibrations of his foot tapping against the ground. Had the man always been this fidgety?

“So, do you have any hobbies?” Perry asked, trying to keep the conversation at a common level.

“My hobby and actual job are combined, which is pretty nice.” Doofenshmirtz replied off-handedly. “I’m an evil scientist, and create machines to execute my evil schemes.”

  
“Cool. So you want to like, what, rule the world someday?”

“No, no, see that’s a mad scientist.” The man corrected. “An evil scientist picks out petty revenge in an attempt to resolve their scarring backstory. My ultimate goal would be to take over the Tri-State Area, however. Since my brother is mayor and all, and I have some beef with him still..”

The doctor trailed off, suddenly realizing how awkward his answer probably sounded. His face grew red and he went back to tapping his foot. “Sorry, I don’t mean to ramble..”

“I don’t mind.” The platypus smiled.

Thankfully, the waitress came by with their food. It was piping hot. Perry’s stomach rumbled; he didn’t realize how hungry he had gotten. The two bit into their meals with pleasure.

“Umm, I haven’t had a burger this good since my college years. I can’t believe I’ve never tried this place!” The doctor cried.

Perry smirked. “Going to leave me for a better restaurant, huh?”

“I didn’t mean that! It’s just so good!”

The platypus would have to agree. His wings were delicious, with the perfect amount of spicy, better than the standard fast food chains. And the fries were seasoned with both salt and black pepper. They garbled down most of their food before either resumed conversation.

“Do you mind if I ask why you have those lip piercings. I mean, I like them! I just wondered..”

Perry smirked again. “My father would never allow me to have them. So I kind’ve got them as a permanent ‘fuck you’ in his memory.”

Heinz seemed taken aback with his blatant cuss word, but Perry didn’t care. If the man wanted to hang out, he’d be hearing a few of those words. Besides, it was always amusing to see the doctor surprised. The man chuckled.

“What do you like to tinker?” Perry asked innocently. Now, here’s the juicy part.

“All kinds of things. I mostly find different blueprints on mine and tweak them just a bit to fit my needs. All my inators usually bend the forces of nature and use them to my advantage. Unfortunately my nemesis has a habit of getting in the way, but I’m working on that.”

“Cool. Have anything you’re working on now?”

“Hmm, not really.” The scientist admitted. “I’ve been having another stroke of ‘evil scientist’ block. My daughter has also been acting very strange lately. She’s a reserved one, but she’s been even more reserved that ever. She will barely talk to me now. Maybe I should make an inator that will get her to open up to me. What do you think?”

“Have you tried just talking to your daughter?”

“Nothing works. I feel like I’ve failed her.”

Perry leaned forward and put his hand on the man’s shoulder, just like he would as a platypus when the man was upset. “Hey, I’m sure you haven’t failed her. In fact, the very point that you care makes it obvious that you really do love her. Teenagers are like this at this age. She’ll come around.”

Doofenshmirtz smiled, “Thanks, Michael.”

The doctor dropped Perry off at his car and wished him a good night. The agent watched as the man rolled out of the parking lot and disappeared into Danville’s night sky. Tired, and completely unsure what to do with his unidentified emotions, the man decided to ignore them, and head home to get a good night’s rest.

 

 


	14. Chapter 14

When Vanessa and Lacie returned to the junkyard to meet Orville and the gang, they weren’t expecting the entourage of new members. Three new teenagers, two boys and a girl, sat next to each other, cross-legged, and staring at the group as if they sitting with a bunch of aliens.

“Say hello to the devil’s triplets.” Orville laughed manically. “No, really, Dr. Devil is a super genius. This is Ebony, Fang, and Shadow. We are grateful to have them with us today.”

Vanessa raised an eyebrow. They didn’t seem very “genius” to her.

“The triplets have agreed to help us enact our plan to take down O.W.C.A.!”

“What plan?” Lacie spoke up. “I didn’t know we’d come up with one yet.”

Orville shrugged. “Well, we haven’t worked out all of the bugs yet. But we caught rumor that O.W.C.A. is holding their graduation party in a week. It would be the perfect time for us to sneak in and cause massive chaos.”

“And how exactly are you planning on doing that?” Charlie, a girl probably in her freshman year, asked sardonically.

Orville boomed, “We just need to invent a device that will allow us to freeze any moving object in a mere second. That way, the agents can’t attack. It’s foolproof!”

Vanessa rolled her eyes. She was _so_ finding a way to leave for the weekend.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

  
Early the next morning, Perry skipped over to the Garcia-Shapiro household and climbed through the doggy-door. Mrs. Garcia-Shapiro was already up, wearing an apron, cleaning the kitchen and singing to herself. The room smelled of freshly cooked bacon, making Perry’s stomach rumble.

Ignoring his animal instincts for now, the platypus tiptoed across the living room and skipped up the stairs where he suspected Pinky would be resting. He found the dog asleep in a little bed, quivering as she dreamed.

Carefully as not to wake Isabella Garcia-Shapiro, the agent walked up to Pinky and tapped her on the shoulder. The dog darted up, startled, but Perry put a paw over her mouth and made a soft, soothing noise.

Pinky narrowed her eyes and shook him off, slightly irritated. Perry motioned for her to follow, and slipped down one of Pinky’s secret entrances into her lair.

Once inside, Pinky let out a puzzled bark. Perry smiled as he felt the dog’s barking interpret into understandable communication to his platypus ears.

 _Perry?_ She cried. _What’s going on?_

The agent cringed. _Sorry to wake you. Are there cameras in here?_

_No.. Why?_

_Something bad has happened, and I was wondering if you could help. But.._ He held up his hand as Pinky opened her mouth. _It’s very dangerous, and could get both of us into serious trouble._

_What kind of trouble?_

Perry rubbed his hands over his face. _Do you remember that uncover mission we went on a few weeks ago? At the Danville hotel?_

Pinky nodded, her nose bobbing like a bobblehead.

_Apparently, our targets have been spying on me ever since that mission. I don’t know why they picked me, but they know who Phineas and Ferb are and are planning to hurt them if I don’t get them some information._

Pinky’s ears shot up, and she let out an uncontrolled growl. _Those bastards. What kind of information do they want?_

_Something about “Operation Kur.”_

_“Operation KUR?”_ The chihuahua yelped and grabbed Perry’s shoulders. _That case has been closed for YEARS, and was locked away forever. Only the most highest in command at O.W.C.A. are allowed to access it. Perry, this is past insane, this is suicidal._

 _I know it is._ Perry admitted, slumping his head. _But if I don’t get this information by a week’s time, Dr. Gevaarlijk is going to hurt them. Maybe even kill them. And I can’t go to O.W.C.A. I’m pretty sure they know where my lair is and put trackers all over my systems. They will be watching Major Monogram’s every move. They will know if I tell the agency._

Pinky tapped her chin thoughtfully. Perry could almost feel the battle of emotions fighting through her. _You need my help to get through security, don’t you?_

_You don’t have to say yes. This is very dangerous. You’re just one of the only ones I trust._

_And if I say no, will you be attempting this alone?_

Perry looked down at the floor. He had no response.

The chihuahua narrowed her eyes. _Alright. I’ll help._

The platypus’ head shot up. _You will?_

_Yes. I don’t want Phineas and Ferb hurt anymore than you do. They’re good boys, and their suffering will hurt my Isabella greatly. However, this is still a job that requires more than two people. Luckily I know a guy. Let me make some calls and get back to you with a plan. All I ask is that you don’t ask any questions about him, if he agrees to help._

Perry lifted an eyebrow. _Alright. No questions._

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

A few days later, Perry walked into Vintage Docks, ready for his Friday night shift. He hoped working at his serving job would help take his mind off everything else; he still hadn’t heard back from Pinky, and they were coming down to a time limit of just the weekend in order to get this information.

Perry put on his apron and began cutting lemons for the upcoming evening. Tammy walked past him, carrying a bucket of sanitizer water, and waved at him.

“How are you doing?”

“Pretty good. And yourself?”

Tammy smiled. “Not bad. I actually have a job interview on Monday.”

“Oh, cool! For what?”

Perry stood and listened as Tammy rambled on about her exciting opportunity. The man began to wonder what it was like to have a normal life such as hers, a life without undercover missions, violent battles, and secret identities.

The night started fairly slow. Danville was in a dismal mood that evening, appearing bleak and dark, with various showers of rain passing by. Perry found his own mood to droop lower and lower as the shift dragged on.

At 6:30, Perry noticed Heinz walking in and sighed as the man sat at his usual table. He wasn’t wearing his lab coat, however. Instead, the scientist was dressed in a grey t-shirt, the jeans he’d been trying on earlier that week, and a navy blue blazer.

So, he really was the “friend.”

Perry approached Doofenshmirtz with his usual glass of water and decaf coffee, and smiled at the man. All the signs were warning him that his involvement in this little relationship had blown way too far off course, but Perry shamefully realized that he didn’t want to stop it.

For years, he’d sworn to protect the innocent, even above his own selfishness. What was the harm in being just a little selfish for once?

But you weren’t always sworn to protecting the innocent. Dr. Tecton took what he wanted, when he wanted it. You will never make up for that past behavior.

Perry forced old memories and emotions out of his mind and tried to focus on what was happening. Dr. Doofenshmirtz had obviously said something that he’d completely missed. Perry blushed, embarrassed.

“Sorry, it’s been a long week. My apologies. What did you say?”

Heinz raised an eyebrow, but to the agent’s surprise, didn’t comment. “Oh, just asking how you are, that’s all. Sorry it’s been a rough week. Are you okay?

The platypus forced a weak smile. “I’m fine, really. Just tired. And how are you?”

“Well, I’m alright. I, uh, actually wanted to know if you were interested in going out for a few drinks after your shift? Though, if you’re too tired, I completely understand.”

Say you’re too tired.

“I’d love to.” Perry blurted before he could stop himself. He internally cursed himself. What was wrong with him? He was being watched, blackmailed, and stressed beyond his usual limits, and he was going to spend the evening out for drinks?

But he honestly could use a few drinks to wash away the stress at the moment. Even if it was only for a few hours. Doofenshmirtz didn’t know about him.

Now determined to enjoy his evening, Perry felt his whole body and face relax. Smiling became less forced as he fought through his shift. Heinz waited for him at the table, reading a book to pass the time. Unfortunately, this caused quite a stir among the staff, who immediately noticed Heinz’s odd behavior.

“He never stays this long. This wouldn’t have anything to do with you, would it, Perry?”

“And he’s dressed up! Oooh, someone’s getting it tonight!”

“Whoa, are you seriously dating that dude?”

Perry brushed off all comments with a stern growl. Sometimes it felt like he worked with a bunch of children. They eventually left him alone, realizing their nagging was actually bothering him, but he still sensed the hushed whispers from everyone as they walked past him.

Closing couldn’t have come any sooner. Once the doors were locked and the restaurant cleaned up, Perry stepped into the restroom, changed into a pair of spare clothes- a hoodie, a pair of black jeans, and a beanie- and walked up to where Heinz was sitting.

“Ready to go?”

The scientist nodded and followed the man out to his truck. They didn’t say a single word as Heinz drove them across the street to the same bar and grill they’d visited earlier.

“I hope you don’t mind the same place. If you want we can..”

“This is perfect.” Perry smiled. “Thank you.”

The two settled into the same booth they’d picked the last time. The scientist ordered another Blue Moon, but Perry chose a jack and coke. They ordered a large helping of fries and decided to split them.

Three drinks in, and Perry was feeling much lighter than usual. The alcohol had finally started to loosen his nerves a bit. The two were howling at some stupid joke Heinz had made, although Perry wasn’t laughing because it was actually funny, he was laughing because Heinz made the weirdest facial expressions when he cackled.

Finally, Heinz was driving him back to his car. Perry was red in the cheeks and smiling, wishing the moment would never end.

“Are you going to be okay to drive home?”

Perry nodded. “I know my limits. Thank you for tonight.”

“Hey, before you go.” Heinz blushed, looking down. “I wanted to show you something. Promise me you won’t freak out.”

But Perry had already caught a glimpse at what the doctor was pulling out from the side door pocket. He jumped back with wide eyes, startled.

“It’s nothing big, it’s just.. Hey, what’s wrong?”

  
The device in Heinz’s hand was clearly an inator of his creation, built to look like some sort of ray gun. Agent instincts kicked in as Perry’s mood suddenly diminished into pure defensive reaction.

“Put that away. Don’t point it at me.”

“What?” Heinz gasped. “It’s not what you think, really.. If you’d just let me explain..”

  
“I said, don’t point that at me. Are you insane?” The agent grabbed onto the car handle and stumbled out of the passenger seat. Heinz was waving his hands, stuttering like an idiot.

“But, but..”

“This was a mistake.”

Perry slammed the door shut and darted up to the Vintage Docks employee door. Thankfully, it was still unlocked. The managers must have had some last minute paperwork to finish.

He shut himself inside and took a deep breath, feeling as if he’d just run a marathon. While he probably had overreacted, (and it also may have been due to the alcohol), he knew what Heinz was capable of, and wasn’t taking any chances.

Cursing himself for being so selfish and stupid, Perry waited until Heinz finally left, then slipped into his car. Shaking, the platypus hit the gas and drove away.


	15. Chapter 15

Perry jumped into his Mustang and fled towards the other side of town. The chances of the guilty party still being there when he arrived were slim, but he wasn't about to waste his only lead. Even if they were long gone, there still had to be clues.

The agent dialed his phone.

“Should I be getting used to these late night calls?” Lyla yawned sardonically.

Perry snorted. “I found the creepers.”

“Really? I’m assuming you’re heading their way now?”

“Yep. If I haven’t contacted you in an hour, will you call in O.W.C.A.?”

Lyla didn’t hesitate. “Of course I will. Though are you sure you don’t want to get them involved? This could be dangerous.”

Perry made an abrupt right turn. “Have you forgotten who I am?”

“Perry the Suicidalapus?”

The agent snickered. “You’re such a dork.”

“At least I’m a dork with some sense of self-preservation. Don’t do anything stupid, eh, partner?”

“Will do.”

It didn’t take long for him to reach the other side of town, or locate the building, as it was the only one that looked even remotely habitable enough for someone to stalk him. It was made of brick, with very few windows or doors, resembling something of an abandoned factory.

Wait a minute.

Perry pulled out his phone and began looking through images of Danville’s abandoned milk processing plant. There weren’t any maps of the layout that were easily accessible, but Perry did notice the massive amounts of vents that lowered into each of the factory rooms. Now with a plan, the agent transformed into a platypus and crept up to the back of the building.

Using a crowbar, the agent was able to pry one of the first story windows open, and slipped inside.

The place was frighteningly dark, even though it was late afternoon. The agent retrieved a flashlight and spotted around the room until he located a vent. Smirking, Perry pulled himself upwards and pushed the vent open, crawling through with ease.

  
He wandered through the first floor, but each room he peered into looked vacant and abandoned, with massive cobwebs and rusted pieces of metal left untouched for years.

The second story was smaller compared to the first, but he managed to find an access point and began scouring through the vents. It wasn’t long until his eyes landed on a room filled with multiple benches and broken pieces of material. There were no projects to be seen, but a random assortment of tools had been left behind. However, the most interesting object was the modern cell phone that lay in the middle of the floor.

What a convenient item to leave behind.

It made Perry suspicious, but he had no other lead. So, after climbing down from the vent, the platypus carefully picked it up and examined it.  
The device had little battery left, but the last text message sent to the phone, which popped up in notifications, read:

_Get out._

The platypus put the phone in his fedora, hoping Lyla could help him dig more information out of it. Just as he did, however, bright lights were suddenly turned on, blinding him.

Perry shut his eyes as the light poured through his body like fire. When he finally felt his brain adjusting, the platypus found he was on the ground, and a figure was standing in front of him. He pulled his hands away and focused his vision.

_It couldn’t be._

Dr. Gevaarlijk.

“Hello, little platypus.” The woman purred. Perry felt a chill shake down his spine. “I was hoping you were going to attend my school.”

Perry’s eyes narrowed. There was no way she could have known about the undercover disguise all those weeks ago. There was no way.

But there was a way. Because this woman now had him completely trapped in a room with no possibility means of escape. The platypus slowly looked up and stared; he figured it was best not to say anything.

“Yes, I knew it was you. In fact, I was quite impressed. If it had been anyone else you’d been spying on, I doubt they would have figured it out. But you see..” She leaned in, causing Perry to cough at her strong perfume, “I’m not just anyone.”

Perry had his hands on his grappling hook, ready to pounce at any moment.

The evil scientist laughed, her voice shrieking and demented. Despite the fact that she almost reached his height as a platypus, her glare was enough to shrink his courage to the size of a pea.

“Of course, there’s also quite a lot more I know about you. I know about your human identity. I know about your host family. I also know where you live, both in your apartment, and with those boys.”

Perry’s heart began to race. So she knew who he was. She was behind the camera.. And she knew where Phineas and Ferb lived.

“I also had a camera watching you for much longer than you think. The camera you found was just a decoy, a way to bring us to your attention and drive you here.”

The platypus didn’t move. He couldn’t.

The woman glared at him for a second, before scoffing in disgust. “I hate these one-way conversations. Why don’t you turn into a human for me? I’d like to see your pretty brown eyes in person.”

Perry stared. He wouldn’t.

She grinned, but there was quite a lack of palpability in her expression. “Come on now, I already know. There’s nothing to be afraid of.”

He didn’t move. He didn’t flinch. He could barely hear her voice over the pounding of his heart.

“I said, CHANGE!”

The woman pulled a small remote from her lab coat and angrily pressed the button. Two drones flew down from the ceiling and surrounded Perry. Before he could duck, they reached down and wrapped four metal claws around his body.

He was screaming before he even knew what was happening. The electrocution made his knees grow weak. When he looked up, he saw visions of his father, and his stomach began to churn.

Deciding not to fight, Perry grabbed his watch and removed the microchip. Slowly, his shaking platypus body melted away, and a human one emerged. The robots, however, didn’t shift their claws. The man kneeled, trapped, and tried desperately to force away the pain.

_Don’t lose control, don’t lose control._

“See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” The woman taunted, stepping closer. “I must say, I was quite surprised when I discovered this little secret of yours. But then, I shouldn’t have been, because what I found on you goes way past blackmail worthy.” Dr. Gevaarlijk stepped even closer. “It’s life or death.”

Perry squirmed. It was getting harder to fight the fear and the rage that was rising in his chest.

“Perry, the little evil scientist turned agent. Or should I call you, Dr. Tecton?”

The agent could barely swallow with how dry his mouth had turned. It was one thing for this woman to know he was human, but to know that secret, the truth of his past that he had kept buried for so long, was humiliating.

What else did she know of his past?

“I was going to use the information of your ‘evil scheming’ days to blackmail you, but honestly, I don’t think that would be enough. Despite all your power, potential, and thirst for vengeance, you have turned into a weak, self-sacrificing, good for nothing hero.” The woman snapped. “So I had to find something else to use against you.”

Perry could barely contain his silence any longer. Shaking, he croaked, “What do you want?”

Dr. Gevaarlijk grinned. “There’s some information being contained in O.W.C.A.’s headquarters that I very much need. You are going to get it for me.”

“What kind of information?”

“I want every file you can find under the code name ‘Operation Kur.’ You’re a smart boy; I know you can figure it out.” The woman laughed wickedly. “Because if you don’t, well.. You can say goodbye to everyone you trust.”

Perry’s body was shaking. He could feel anger pouring out from every corner of his mind.

_Don’t lose control. Please, don’t lose control.._

“I know about Miss Lyla Lolliberry. I know about the Flynn-Fletchers. I even know about your little act of heroism on Miss Vanessa Doofenshmirtz’s behalf. They’ll all be gone,” Dr. Gevaarlijk snapped her fingers, “just like that. Unless you get me those files.”

Perry’s mind went black. All he could feel was the immense anger making his blood boil from the inside out. He jumped up and, with a random burst of strength, pulled the robotic metal claws off his body and threw them across the room.

Dr. Gevaarlijk was yelling, but he didn’t hear her. He grabbed her by the neck and pushed her against the floor, fists raised, ready to kill. But before he could make the first punch, two gigantic figures were forcefully pulling him off. They slammed his body against the wall.

“And don’t think about contacting that precious agency of yours. I will know if you do.”

Perry caught Dr. Gevaarlijk’s sadistic gaze before blacking out.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

When he awoke, the man was tossed in his car, body cradling the back seat. His head felt foggy, and as soon as he tried to sit up, sharp pain erupted down his spin. Perry felt the back of his neck, and groaned as he realized he was bleeding. And he had just recovered from getting shot in the arm.

He looked in his lap. The cell phone he’d found in the factory was still with him. There was a new message.

_You have until Monday, the 4th, at 11:59._

A week. He had a week.

 

 


	16. Chapter 16

Perry was usually pretty good at disassociating. But now, every time he looked at Doofenshmirtz during their regular daily battles, all he could see was the man he’d gone to the bar and grill with. He was starting to wonder what on earth he had gotten himself into.

But he couldn’t help it. The friendly conversation had been fun. It reminded Perry of how lonely he’d been as of late, and how desperately he wanted to fool himself into thinking that he and Heinz could be friends on the side, separate from the whole “nemesis” relationship, and no one would have to know but him.

He argued back and forth all morning, wondering if he should stop it, or tempt fate and let the friendship continue.

_I do have friends. Lyla is a friend._

_Yeah, but she lives all the way in fucking Canada. So unless you want to move there.._

_I’ll get in deep shit if this gets out._

_So what? You’ve been in deeper._

In the end, Perry decided he was just going to drive himself nuts, and tried to focus on more important matters. Like how on earth he was going to make sure Phineas and Ferb didn’t hurt themselves on the massive helicopter they were making.

The machine was huge, with propellers that filled up the backyard. The kids gleefully jumped on board, ready to fly through the air and watch Danville’s skyline. Phineas picked him up and carried him on. Perry glanced at the controls nervously. How were the boys able to fly this thing?

But of course, the flight passed without incident. They breezed through clouds, sunrises, and summer winds, and landed safely back in the backyard. All the kids cheered, begging to go again.

Perry smiled. Despite his crazy life, he was so glad to be a part of these moments.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Earlier that evening, Perry was in the mall, going through a section of men’s t-shirts, frustrated that he couldn’t find something simple. Why did everything, even for the older adults, have to be filled with stupid messages and printed pictures?

However, about halfway down the isle, Perry landed on some monochrome t-shirts that were designed a v-neck. Resolved to try something different, the man took them to the changing room and tried them on. He decided that he liked them. They were comfortable, but not too loose.

He approached the cash register and handed the man the shirts.

As the cashier was printing his receipt, Perry looked into the glass cabinets directly across from him and began to panic. A humongous dark figure was approaching him, with arms raised. Perry spun around, ready to take cover, when his fist hit someone behind him, knocking the man over.

“Ugh! Great! Now I got hot coffee all over my lab coat! Thanks a lot buddy; you..” Doofenshmirtz’s mouth dropped open.

Perry’s eyes widened. _Doofenshmirtz?_

Could this week get any weirder?

“Oh! Michael! I’m so sorry, I had no idea.. Are you okay?”

After the initial shock washed over, Perry stared at him, bewildered. “Am I okay? Are you okay? I’m the one who hit you! I’m sorry!”

The doctor nodded vigorously. “Oh, I’m fine, just an accident, it’s okay. I was just picking up some new lab coats and thought I’d stop in and look for a tie, because, well.. because of random reasons and..”

Perry chuckled. “At least let me buy you another coffee.”

“No, really, you don’t have to..”

“Too late, it’s already decided.” The platypus snickered. “I’m almost done.”

Once the shirts were paid for and Doofenshmirtz had paid and changed his clothes, he and Perry walked down to the local Starbucks and got in line. The platypus noticed Doofenshmirtz’s fingers tapping again.

“What do you want?”

Doof sighed, “Well I was drinking an Americano, but I don’t know if I should go for that again. I’ll be awake for days. An iced coffee is fine.”

Perry nodded and approached the desk. “I’ll have an iced coffee, grande, and a white chocolate mocha with cinnamon dolche, also grande.”

Perry caught the doctor’s amused look. “Shut up, I know, it’s a girly drink.”

“Hey, I like sugar too!”

They finally elected to sit down and enjoy their coffee for a minute. Thankfully, since it was closer to evening, there weren’t many people in the building. Still, the two didn’t say anything for a minute, simply enjoying their coffee and watching passerbys.

“By the way,” Doofenshmirtz cut in. “I’m sorry if I was rude, the first time you served me. I guess I underestimate all you guys do and, well, just know that I know better from now on.”

Perry snickered. “Water with ice and no lemon, and a decaf coffee, and if you mess up, I’ll steal your organs and shoot you across Antarctica.. wahaha..”

“Hey! I don’t sound like that!” Doof lightly punched him in the arm.

Perry took another sip of coffee, grinning. “That was basically what you said to me. But that’s okay. Apology accepted. And seriously, I appreciate the tips, but you really don’t have to..”Heinz held up his hand. “It’s the least I can do for how I treated you.”

Another moment of silence passed, before Heinz finally looked at the time. “I’m sorry, but I really have to run. I have to pick my daughter up from her party. Thanks for the coffee, though.”

“No problem.”

“Oh, and here.” The doctor blushed. “In case you want to go out again sometime.”

Perry took the piece of paper and glanced at it. It was Heinz’s cell phone number. Also blushing, the man stuck the paper in his billfold, and waved goodbye to the doctor.

_What on earth are you doing, agent? This is borderline too far!_

_But he’s into girls. We can just be friends, right? That’s all I want. He doesn’t have to know._

Frustrated, the agent grabbed his bags and made his way back to his car. He was digging himself a hole, and he wondered at what point he would be too far down to pull himself back up.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Perry arrived at his apartment again, and immediately checked the offensive camera that was still active. He’d been checking it every morning and evening, hoping for some clues as to who would have done such a stupid thing.

He plugged his computer into the USB port and pulled up the data.

Wait. Holy Christ.

The tracker had been activated. Someone had logged on. Now excited, Perry pulled out the data and easily located the IP address. Once the result had been extracted, he inserted it into a standard IP location software and watched as the computer calculated his findings.

_202 Brily Way._

  
_Interesting. That was on the other side of Danville, a side that most people stayed away from._

Perry followed the distance from his apartment to there and figured how long it would take to reach the area.

Then, he pulled the camera right from its perch, disconnecting it.

The agent figured that whoever was behind this would already by moving their things to escape. There was a slim chance they’d still be there when he arrived, but there was always a huge possibility of clues being left behind.

If he wanted to catch them, he had to go. Now.

 

 

 


	17. Chapter 17

Perry spent the night in his apartment. Dr. Gevaarlijk’s camera lay, smashed to pieces, in the middle of the hallway, along with various items he had strewn about the floor during his mental breakdown. There was blood on the bathroom sink, still, but he had no energy to clean it up. He never slept, simply stared at the ceiling until dawn was knocking on his bedroom window.

What was he going to do?

The night before repeated over and over in his head like a never-ending short film. He couldn’t get that bitch’s voice out of his head. And the whole time, he was burning inside with intense anger that he could not cool down.

What if he just found the woman and killed her. Maybe that would put the problem to an end.

Perry sighed, frustrated. That would have been an ample solution for the man he’d been seven years ago. But now..

The agent rose from his bed and pulled out a box from his closet. Inside he’d kept a few textbooks, including Dr. Wexler’s autobiography, a tool kit, and a lab coat. Perry held the items in his hand, studying them. Despite the great lengths he’d taken to keeping O.W.C.A. from discovering his past as an evil scientist, he would have given it up in a heartbeat. He would have even told Lyla, Doofenshmirtz, even the Flynn-Fletchers who he used to be. But now, they had other means to blackmail him. Why had he been so blind to the stalkers and the cameras?

Phineas, Ferb, Vanessa, Lyla, Candace.. Their faces flashed through his mind. He had no choice; he had to protect them.

But he needed a plan.

Sighing, the agent rubbed his stinging eyes and set the items back in his box. He would deal with all of this later; right now, he needed to see Phineas and Ferb. And a cup of coffee.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

  
Perry was trying hard not to touch the back of his head as Phineas and Ferb picked him up and hugged him. The wound hadn’t been as bad as he’d first thought, and had thankfully stopped bleeding, but it was still very sore. Despite this, Perry was glad to see the boys.

More distracting than watching the boys was the fact that Lyla wouldn’t stop texting him. Even though Perry had called her immediately after waking up in his car, she hadn’t believed him when he’d said everything was fine. Not that he had expected her to, but he’d decided he wasn’t going to tell her what had happened. And he couldn’t ask for her help, either.

Perry laid underneath the backyard tree, stewing in these thoughts, when his watch vibrated, alerting a new message from Major Monogram. With a soft wince, the platypus stood and snuck into a secret entrance kept behind the garden hose.  
He landed in front of the major and saluted.

“Agent P! Good morning. We’ve just been alerted to some of Doofenshmirtz’s online spending. Apparently, he just received a completely new wardrobe. He’s been spotted in the mall with his daughter. This is definitely not something Doofenshmirtz would do normally, so we have to assume the worst.”

“Maybe he just wants to spend quality time with his daughter?” Carl interjected.

“Spend quality.. seriously, Carl? That man is an evil mastermind!”

“Yeah but that’s still his..”“Carl! What did we talk about earlier?”

“Sorry, Sir.”

“See what you can dig up, Agent P.” Major Monogram ordered. “Good luck.”

  
Perry ducked out of his chair and strapped into his jetpack. Hopefully this would be one of Heinz’s less intense evil schemes.

When the platypus arrived at Doof’s apartment, he noticed there was a certain lack of traps lying around, waiting for him. He unstrapped from his jetpack and wandered into the living room. Perry found the man wearing a pair of jeans with the tag still attached, staring at himself in the mirror.

What the hell.

“Oh, Perry the Platypus! Thank goodness you’re here. Do these jeans make my butt look big?”

Perry raised an eyebrow.

“See, Vanessa said they’re really flattering, but she didn’t really say why. I don’t want to make it look like my butt is huge. Although I guess big butts are all the rage these days, so maybe I do? Ugh.. this fashion stuff is just confusing. This is why I just stick to my lab coats.”

Perry tapped where piles of new shirts, jeans, and jackets were strewn across the table. He looked up at his nemesis expectantly.

“Oh, yeah, that.” Heinz sighed. “See, I told Vanessa that I may have, well.. made a new friend.”

Another raised eyebrow.

“And she went all hysterical. She said I needed to update my wardrobe and impress him. I didn’t really think it was necessary, but she looked so happy, and I never get to do anything like that with her anymore. So, five hours later, here we are.” The man grumbled, pointing to the piles of clothes.

“But seriously, what do you think? Nay or yay?”

The platypus crossed his arms. He was not playing this game.

“Really? Speak now or forever hold your peace..”

No movement.

“Wow.” The man groaned. “You know, you really are no help. Sorry I don’t have anything evil planned for today. I’m spending the rest of it trying to decide what I want to keep from this mess. You can head out if you want. Unless you want to stay and help?”

Perry shrugged his shoulders and stepped out to give the man his privacy back. He was feeling a strange twist in his stomach whenever he looked at the man in those jeans, and it was making him uncomfortable. Deciding to escape when he could, the platypus saluted and jumped back into his jetpack, more than willing to head back home.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Heinz watched his nemesis disappear out the door and shook his head. He didn’t blame the monotreme for leaving. Going through clothes was so time consuming; how did women get so into this stuff?

The man could feel old insecurities start to interject his internal dialogue as he looked at himself in the mirror. Was his butt really too big? Was his slouch too distracting? Was his face too ugly to even make the new clothes worthwhile?

The scientist sighed and slipped out of the jeans. He couldn’t do this.

Thoughts of Michael flashed through his mind and he smiled, feeling a warmth flush through his chest and into his face. He hadn’t expected things to go this well with the man; well, he hadn’t expected anything to happen, really. But the way Michael smiled at him, it made him so happy. It was like the man could actually see the real him, somehow, despite his awkwardness and definite ugliness.

Heinz pulled out a small inator from inside his pocket and caressed it thoughtfully. He was planning to hit the man with it, and hopefully, would get the ending he was looking for. A genuine smile broke through the scientist’s face.

This time, the world would finally go his way.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

When Perry returned home, Phineas and Ferb and their friends were eating snacks in the backyard, reliving the amazing adventure they’d just experienced that day. Perry happily laid down in between his boys, listening to their laughter, and eating secret bites of pie now and then.

Suddenly, Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher peered her head outside. “Isabella, your mother’s here.”  
“Yay!” The girl jumped up and ran into the house. The other kids followed.

Mrs. Garcia-Shapiro embraced her daughter and said hello to the kids. From her arms, their pet dog, Pinky jumped down and licked at Isabella’s legs, obviously glad to see her owner.

“Oh, Pinky! I missed you! How did she do at the doggy daycare, Mom?”“She did wonderful, actually. We will have to take her back. Oh, thank you for letting Isabella over, Linda.”

“Oh, no problem at all, Vivian.” Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher smiled. “Do you care for a piece of pie?”

“I’d love one!”

Perry caught Pinky’s eye and gave a respectful nod, which the agent readily returned.

 _Pinky, Pinky, Pinky.._ A plan began to form in Perry’s mind, one that was risky, but if he could get Pinky to hear his side of the story..

The platypus settled down against the kitchen table, watching the families eat their pie and talk, his mind whizzing with ideas. He might be able to make this work. But it all depended on the little chihuahua.

 

 

 


	18. Chapter 18

Heinz awoke the next morning with a splitting headache. It was only after he noticed the empty bottle of whiskey next to him that he realized why.

Sighing, the man painfully grabbed his lab coat, put it on, and made his way across the room to splash water on his face. He shuddered at his image in the mirror. What was wrong with him?

Thoughts of Michael flooded through his head. Of course, Heinz just had to fuck everything up. Why did he make that inator look so much like a damned gun? No wonder the man was so freaked out! He was just so used to Perry the Platypus taking everything in stride without any questions..

The inator had simply been a little gift for his new friend. It would scan and read all of the things Michael liked- his favorite color, his favorite food, his favorite movies, etc.- and bring one of them to him at the push of a button. Heinz had thought it’d been one of his best ideas yet. Maybe not evil, but certainly cool, in his opinion.

But now, Michael would probably never know. Heinz doubted if he’d ever see him again.

_Stupid, stupid._

Sullenly, the evil scientist finished washing up and turned on the shower.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

The next morning, Pinky was knocking on his head with her snout. Perry jumped awake, surprised to find the chihuahua’s face almost pressed into his. He cringed, feeling his head spin. Thankfully he wasn’t hungover, but he definitely hadn’t slept very well. He couldn’t even remember getting into Ferb’s bed.

Despite the dizziness, Perry followed Pinky through a chute in the boy’s room, and landed in his own secret lair. The lights were dimmed, but Perry didn’t brighten them. He wasn’t taking any chances of alerting Major Monogram.

Perry raised an eyebrow. _Any luck?_

Pinky barked joyfully. _He said yes. My friend is going to make sure we get through the security, while I come with you and doing the hacking._

 _You’re amazing, Pinky._ Perry sighed, relieved. _Do we have a plan?_

_Well, O.W.C.A. is having a graduation party tomorrow at noon. All of the staff will be invited. That will be our perfect opportunity to sneak into the building._

_But isn’t the part being held at O.W.C.A. headquarters this year? You know, since last year’s attempt didn’t go so well.._ Perry thought regretfully to the debacle that had been last year’s graduation ceremony. Who knew the agents and evil scientists would end up sharing a space.

 _Yes, that creates a problem._ Pinky sighed. _We need a way to make everyone think we’re at the party while we’re away. I tried tricking the hologram devices we used during our undercover mission to come up with independent hologram versions of ourselves, but it was unsuccessful. Have any ideas?_

Perry pondered for a moment. Unfortunately, O.W.C.A. wasn’t very developed in this brand new stage of technology. But, like a strike of lightning, the solution dawned on him. Phineas and Ferb. Hadn’t they created a cloning machine earlier this summer?

Perry relayed this to Pinky, who immediately brightened. _Do you have copies of that machine?_

The platypus nodded.

_Perfect. We’ll construct clones of ourselves and replace them with us at the party. We should be back before anyone suspects._

Pinky laid out a map of the O.W.C.A.’s headquarters and began mapping out the plan. Perry felt an excited chill descend his spine. This mission was unbelievably dangerous, but at least there was a shred of hope.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

  
Perry landed in Doofenshmirtz’s apartment, expecting to find the man standing there with a new evil scheme in the works. Instead, he found the man pacing about the apartment, his hair and lab coat wrinkled, muttering to himself.

The sight of him made Perry cringe. Thinking back, he hoped his dramatic escape after their drinking hang out hadn’t driven the man crazy. However, he forced himself to swallow back those emotions, and approached Heinz with his usual professional gaze.

“Oh, Perry the Platypus! Thank you for coming. See, Vanessa has been begging for you to come back. She hasn’t stopped bugging me all morning. Do you mind going over some things with her? Pleeease?”

The agent nodded, and walked into the living room. Vanessa was sitting in a long t-shirt and leggings, already blasting music. She smiled and waved when she saw him.

“Thanks for coming, Perry.” She smiled. “I convinced Dad to take a break from evil today and let you teach me. I hope you don’t mind.”He shook his head. It was a nice change of pace, honestly.

The two fell into different stretches. Afterwards, he repeated punching and kicking moves they had been working on, nodding encouragingly as she mastered her stance. He then pulled her towards the middle of the room and took on a stance of his own. The agent motioned for her to hold a combative stance in defensive to his advances.

As they worked through different maneuvers, Perry’s mind wandered back to his own training. Although he’d learned most of his skills at O.W.C.A.’s training facility in Danville, the platypus had been familiar with it his whole life. Even as an evil scientist, he’d craved learning, and had self-taught himself some basic combat skills from books and online sources.

He’d given his O.W.C.A. nemesis a run for their money when they’d first met.

More unproductive memories. Perry pushed them to the back of his mind.

Vanessa was picking up on the training rather quickly. With her intelligence and quick thinking, she would be a prime example of a fine agent. Perry hoped she didn’t slip and fall down the evil path, like her father.

_Or like himself._

After about an hour, Perry motioned for them to take a break. Vanessa grabbed a water bottle and offered him one. He took it gratefully.

“I feel like I could walk on water.” Vanessa cried, settling onto the couch.

Heinz sat next to her and kissed her cheek. “I’m proud of you, Pumpkin. Just think of all the evil you could spread with these new skills..”

  
“Daaad.”

“Yeah, I know.” He sighed. “You guys up for snacks? I think I have some sandwiches in the fridge..”

Doofenshmirtz waddled to the kitchen. Vanessa let out a deep breath and shook her head. “Dad’s been really.. off since yesterday. Apparently he had a date, but it didn’t go so well. He won’t tell me why. I’m kind’ve worried about him, Perry. I don’t know what to do.”

A date??

Had that “hang out” been considered a date by the evil scientist? No wonder the man had been so upset. Perry bit back a guilty frown. The thought made him queasy, but he took a deep breath and tried to calm his beating heart. He’d been selfish; the relationship couldn’t have continued much longer. At least now it was over.

 _Heinz will get over it_. He rationed. _And then it will be like nothing happened. I may have to quit my job at the restaurant, though._

Doof returned with a plate of sandwiches. Perry picked up one of the chicken salad sandwiches and sat at the table, munching on it. He listened to father and daughter go back and forth, talking about mundane things. Vanessa was right; Doof seemed really off. He was very mellow, nothing like his usual peppy, energetic self.

Another rise of guilt threatened to cough up his sandwich.

Once they were finished, Vanessa stood and stretched. “Can we go over those last techniques one last time before you go? I think I’ve almost got it!”

Perry smiled and obliged.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

  
Late that night, Perry received a few encrypted text messages from Pinky.

_Let’s meet at sunrise for preparations. Wouldn’t want to come to the party empty-handed!_  
_Agent Pinky_

Perry let the real message sink in. Tomorrow was going to be a real test of his stealth, but that wasn’t the part that worried him. What if they failed? What if they were caught and Pinky’s career was destroyed because of it? What if something happened and Phineas and Ferb got hurt?

The platypus, worn out from the stress, filed those thoughts under his mental “repressed” files and closed his eyes, hoping he would at least catch a few hours of sleep.


	19. Chapter 19

Perry, Pinky, and a wild looking cat were seated in the basement of some home Perry wasn’t familiar with. It was a small house, located in what was considered the “bad side of town.” He could hear stomping from above, but neither Pinky nor the cat seemed to heed it. Perry vaguely wondered what Pinky was doing, hanging out with an animal like this.

The cat, who referred to himself as X, began packing a random assortment of equipment into a small backpack.

 _We are going to take him as far as the parkinglot. Our job is to keep everyone distracted long enough for him to get into security._ Pinky explained. _Once X is inside, we need to move quickly and retrieve the information._

The cat handed both of them an ear piece. Use these. He purred.

The ear piece was tiny, unnoticeable without close inspection. Perry tried placing it in his ear and nodded, impressed. At least the cat knew what he was doing.

 _Do you have the cloning machine ready?_ Pinky asked.

Perry nodded. They were powered and ready. He prayed to whatever god might be listening that this would work.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Pinky and Perry darted into Perry’s lair about half an hour before the event. They both adorned black bowties to match their fedoras for the occasion. A replica of Phineas and Ferb’s machine awaited them, vibrating and hissing. Perry crossed his fingers.

Once they were in place, Perry activated the device. Immediately, he felt the machine scanning his entire body. It only took a minute or two for exact look-a-likes to pop out of the front. The fake Agent P and Agent Pinky squinted their eyes, unused to the light. However, they instantly reacted to the other versions of themselves, politely tipping their hats.

 _Well, they certainly aren't shy._ Pinky observed. _Phineas and Ferb really are something else._

The two clones were examining the lair, eyes and mouth opened wide. Perry wanted to tell them to stop looking like two dimwitted rookies, but kept his mouth shut. There was no point in arguing with a weird version of himself.

The agents secretly pulled their doubles and X into the car and made the short trip to O.W.C.A. headquarters. X didn't say a word, simply tapped on his computer the whole time. Pinky was also silent, but a different kind of silent; a worried silent.

Perry elbowed him. _We're the best of the best, right?_

Pinky nodded, but Perry didn't think his pathetic attempt at encouragement helped much.

When they arrived shortly outside of headquarter's peripheral vision, X clambered in the front seat and watched the front door like a hawk. Perry and Pinky, (the real Perry and Pinky), stepped out and sauntered into headquarters.

Carl greeted them. The gigantic conference room had been cleared, and huge, congratulatory decorations had been placed everywhere. Perry cringed at the cliche quotes that adorned the lobby. Was it just him, or was the graduation ceremony getting cheesier every year?

Major Monogram soon spotted them. "Ah, two of O.W.C.A.'s finest agents. So glad you both could make it. Try the buffet; the potato salad is delicious!"

The agents glanced at each other, but decided to skip the buffet. Perry was so nervous he knew there was no way he could eat.

They chatted with fellow coworkers, making sure to keep a watch on the surrounding security guards. Neither of them relaxed until they received a signal from X confirming he’d made it inside and was on his way up to the control room.

Very soon, the ceremony began to start. Perry waited for a few minutes before disappearing into the bathroom, where the two clones had sneaked inside and were waiting, perched in the janitorial closet. Cloned Perry exited the bathroom and rejoined the event.

Twenty minutes later, Pinky also made the switch.

X's scratchy voice carried through their earpieces. _You both in position?_

 _Position one achieved_. Pinky disclosed. _Awaiting report._

Silence. Perry almost wondered if something had happened and X had disappeared, but after a few minutes, the microphone crackled. All agents are attending the ceremony. _You are free to move forward._

Pinky and Perry moved out of the bathroom, making sure to watch their steps, peering around every corner. Thankfully, since the event was in full swing, there was no one around. They passed through cubicles until they reached the emergency stairway.

Perry looked warily at the security cameras that were staring down the stairway, but Pinky gave an encouraging nod to the platypus. X was working some kind of hacking magic to make them disappear from the camera’s view.

The “forbidden files,” were located in the very last floor of headquarters. Unfortunately, Perry was certain these rooms would be just as heavily guarded as they were any other day of the week.

The two agents finally made it to the last floor. Perry pulled out an X-ray vision device and peered through the closed door. His prediction had been correct; four guards were on duty, directly facing them- and who knew about many others there could be down the hall.

Pinky nodded to Perry. They were going to have to be fast.

_In position two. Waiting for command._

X meowed. _Stand by._

A few seconds later, a warning red light began flashing on the four guard’s wristwatches. They immediately turned to each other and hurried down the hall, yelling for others to follow. The agents waited until the coast was clear, before darting into the corridor and reaching their designated door.

Pinky yelped. _Position three achieved._

 _Door is unlocked. Bombs away._ X snarled.

Perry grabbed the door handle and yanked it open. True to the cat’s word, they were inside without raising any other alarm.

The platypus glanced around the room for a moment. The walls and shelves were crammed with files. But most interesting of all was the computer located in the very center. Pinky was immediately typing away at the keyboard, flash drive already plugged in.

These encryptions are going to take a minute to crack. Pinky sighed. _X, can you buy us a few more minutes?_

_Affirmative._

More red lights were flashing from across the building. Perry knew they were probably interrupting the ceremony at this point, and Major Monogram was sending agents to check it out.

Pinky kept typing. Perry had no idea what she was even doing; all he could see was data flashing past the screen faster than he could read it.

_Guys, Carl has just sent a couple agents down here to investigate. What’s your position?_

Pinky coughed. _Still working on it. Can you stall?_

_Not without raising more unnecessary alarms. You need to get this done in one minute._

Pinky didn’t say a word. She cursed. Perry could hear padded footsteps above them. Someone was coming.

_Pinky.._

_Ha!_ She yelped. _Got it! Here it is, Operation Kur.. Downloading now._

 _It says three minutes until it’s downloaded. We don’t have that._ Perry cried.

 _Two agents are headed down the stairway._ X warned. _Thirty seconds until they engage._

Perry’s ears perked. Guards were headed back to their stations. It seemed that Carl had located the source of the problems to their very location.

_Pinky.._

_We have to distract them._ She snapped.

But before either of them could move, more alarms began to ring, louder and scarier than the previous ones. Perry suspected the whole building had now determined a threat and was locking itself down.

_Shit._

Was that you, X? Pinky pleaded.

Negative. Came the reply. _There’s been another intruder on the main floor. O.W.C.A. is on lockdown._

 _Great._ Pinky barked helplessly. _There goes our way out._

 _Not necessarily_. Perry pondered. _Isn’t there any emergency exit on each floor? Maybe we can find it._

 _There is._ X interrupted. B _ut the only one unaffected by the lock down in on the main ground. You’re going to have to get up there. Fast._

Pinky and Perry darted back up the stairway as fast as their legs would go. However, only after climbing a couple flights, they heard doors being banged from up above and footsteps quickly descending down the stairs.

Pinky barked, worried. Perry looked around. There was no other way to go. Except..

He pointed to the window. Pinky stared at him, open-mouthed. _Are you crazy?!.._

Perry grabbed his partner and jumped up, grabbing the window. It was securely bolted and made of tempered glass. He grabbed his fedora, pumped it until it started spinning like a chainsaw, and began to crack at the window.

Pinky listened as the footsteps were growing louder. X was yelling something in their ear, but Perry could no longer hear it. He was too focused on trying to cut through the window.

It seemed like hours, but finally, the window broke free. He grabbed Pinky and jumped.

The two agents went spiraling onto the ground. It wasn’t a far leap, but enough to cause both of them to cry out as they landed on the pavement. Ignoring the pain, the agents jumped up and hobbled into the jungle, just as they heard Monogram’s booming voice threaten over the wind.  
Pinky and Perry jumped into a getaway car they’d stowed in the woods. _X, are you okay? What’s your status?_

X meowed. _Still inside. You need to switch back before we can proceed._

Perry watched O.W.C.A. headquarters grow farther and farther away. He just hoped their clones would be able to stick it out a couple more hours until they could switch back. The longer their clones stayed in the presence of the O.W.C.A. staff, the more dangerous their position grew.

A couple of minutes later, Pinky and Perry circled back to headquarters and found that security guards were surveilling the scene like a wasps nest. Five figures were being hauled out of the building. Perry couldn’t make out their faces because of their far distance, but they appeared to be fairly young.

Because of this distraction, the two agents were able to stealthily slip into the upstairs bathroom once again, and waited for the clones to escape. X had the security cameras blackened for the time being, so their clones couple make the switch quickly. Pinky and Perry high-fived their clones, before pressing a button on a remote control Perry had handy, making the two vanish into thin air.

The agents casually joined the crowd, amused to see Major Monogram’s completely red face. The ceremony had been completely disrupted, and Carl was on stage trying to put it back on track.

X’s voice carried through the transceiver. _Cameras are back on. Escaping underground. Well done._

Pinky and Perry shared a relieved glance.

..They’d just hacked into O.W.C.A.


	20. Chapter 20

_I have it._

Perry held the foreign cell phone in his hand, staring at it uneasily. This was the cell phone he’d picked up from the evil scientist’s abandoned factory. It was almost midnight now, twenty-four hours before his deadline would be up.

The phone vibrated.

_Meet at this address, tomorrow, noon._

He was sent a link. The address lead him somewhere completely outside of Danville. Perry sighed; hopefully this mess would be over soon, and at least the boys, and Lyla, were safe.

Last night hadn’t stopped replaying in his mind, keeping him from catching any ounce of sleep. He wanted to be sick. Guilty memories and emotions were threatening to rise to his conscious and overthrow any feeling of normalcy, but Perry did his best to fight it.

He’d received an O.W.C.A.-wide message from Major Monogram, explaining the situation and how they were going to handle it. A specific team of agents were picked to surveil the crime scene and figure out who was behind the attack. Perry’s heart tugged when he realized Agent Pinky had been chosen as one for the case. He hoped the little chihuahua still believed she’d done the right thing.

Perry’s wristwatch beeped, and he sighed. He didn’t want to get up and confront Doofenshmirtz. His mind was still swirling over the meeting he was going to have with Dr. Gevaarlijk later that day. But, the agent dutifully answered the major’s call.

He landed in his lair was a thud and saluted as the man appeared on the screen. The major’s eyes were red and swollen- it looked as if Monogram hadn’t gotten any sleep either.

“Hello, Agent P. I know there’s been a major attack on O.W.C.A., and normally you’d be one of the first on our list to work the case, but Dr. Doofenshmirtz has been exhibiting some strange activity recently, so we think you need to divert your attention to him for the time being.”

Perry nodded in understanding, hoping they couldn’t see how fast his heart was beating.

“Our sources have picked up a number of radioactive waves coming from the windows in his building, many more than usual. We want you to see what he’s up to. Good luck, Agent P.”

Perry saluted, grabbed his jetpack, and jumped into the air.

After a few minutes, Doofenshmirtz’s apartment jumped into view. Perry felt a surge of anger flush through him, and decided he wanted to burst in and break down the door.

  
Perry landed outside of Doof’s apartment, and kicked the door with all his might. It crashing down, filling Perry with a sense of amusement. But just as he looked up, a spool of rope dropped down from out of nowhere and grabbed him, tangling itself around him and throwing him upside down.

“Isn't that always the way? Right at the exciting part, that's when the doorbell rings. Or, y'know, a platypus breaks it down. Anyway, behold the Worst-Fear-inator!”

Doofenshmirtz had a stack of horror movies piled up beside his TV, and right beside that, a giant machine that looked like a part claw, part machine gun, and part robot. Perry stared at it, unsure what to think about it when all he could see was random parts because a popcorn machine was blocking his view.

“What?” Doof cried. “Oh, yeah. I guess from your point of view, it's a little difficult to see. Lemme just get this out of the way for you.”

Doof pushed it a few feet to the right. “There we go. Now, in my never-ending pursuit of domination, I discovered that the best evil rulers used fear to keep people in line. So to get into the right headspace, I did what any logical evil scientist would do: rented all the scary movies in Danville for research. Even the lousy ones like Dead Batteries, which is actually better than its prequel, Batteries That Work, which was just a bunch of portable electronic devices functioning properly..”

Perry stared at the doctor, unamused.

“Basically, I shoot someone with the machine, and whatever they are afraid of actually appears in real life!” The doctor cried, raising his arms. “What do you say, Perry the Platypus? You like being a guinea pig? Actually, you'd look kinda cute as a guinea pig. I mean, I wonder if you'd be teal. I bet you would. I bet you'd be a cute little teal guinea pig. Something to think about for the future. Anyway, Perry the Platypus, let's fire this baby up and see what scares you!”

The platypus’s eyes widened. He tried swinging his body in order to dodge the blast, but he was a second too late. The green beam hit him with full force.

Perry opened his eyes and tried to shut down his mind.

_Pink elephant, pink elephant, pink elephant.._

Suddenly, there was a tremendous crash. The whole building seemed to shake. Doofenshmirtz started laughing and waving his arms like a mad man. “Here it is, Perry the Platypus!” He screamed. “I hope you’re quaking in fear!”

Perry struggled in the rope, finally breaking himself free with a swish of his pocketknife. He fell to the floor and immediately took a defensive position. The anxiety surging through his mind was almost blinding.

The apartment shook again. Perry heard the slight knock of a blaster being fired. He tried to grab Heinz, but he wasn’t fast enough. A beam shot through the roof and hit Doofenshmirtz right in the chest.

“Owww..” He cried in pain, shaking. “Hey, what was that for? Who did that?”

Perry ran to help him, but was shot with another blast. It caught him in the arm, sending him to the ground. The platypus groaned.

Suddenly, a figure burst through the roof and landed in the middle of the room. His jet black hair, tanned skin, and black snakebites stood in stark contrast to the white lab coat he adorned. The man was smirking, and holding two identical blasters.

Perry’s heart skipped a beat. It couldn’t be.

“Well. This is shocking.” The mysterious figure smirked. “Please tell me why I shouldn’t just end the both of you right now?”

Heinz was working on standing up. He held onto the wall for balance. “Hello! Buddy! Mind telling a guy who you are and what you’re doing here before you just come barging into his home?”

The figure chuckled. “Why, I believe I’m Perry the Platypus’s worst fear.”

“Really?” Heinz gasped. “So you’re.. another evil scientist?”

This time, the figure laughed out loud. “I guess you could say so. But I’d rather see you make the connection in person. It would give me great pleasure to ruin this little agent’s whole world.”

Perry had initially recovered from his shock, and now held a blaster of his own, ready to pounce. He shot three beams consecutively, all which missed the figure by an inch. The figure purred. “Nice try.”

He jumped up and kicked Perry, sending the agent across the room.

Doofenshmirtz seemed very confused, and almost a little hurt for some reason. He folded his arms, irritated. “Listen, you can’t just come in and hurt _my_ nemesis!”

But the figure wasn’t paying attention anymore. He jumped up and sent a punch in Perry’s direction, but the platypus managed to roll out of the way. The figure jumped on top of him, grabbing his arms and pinning them down. Perry was strong as a platypus, but not strong enough..

But he wouldn’t change. He wouldn’t.

The figure was reaching for his watch. Perry’s heart raced, and he squirmed.

“Hey!” Doofenshmirtz yelled, swatting at the figure with a baseball bat. “What do you think you’re doing?!”

The figure turned around and punched Heinz straight in the nose. The scientist slipped to the ground once more, crying in pain.

Perry had taken this opportunity to get away, but was once again grabbed and slammed against the wall. The figure held him by the neck, choking him. Perry struggled, but to no avail. The perpetrator grabbed his fedora and dumped its contents to the floor. The platypus watched in panic as the flash drive fell. The man picked it up.

“I don’t think you’ll be need this..” He smirked.

Perry growled, and pulled the microchip out of his watch. His platypus body transformed into that of a human. With newfound strength, he punched the figure in the face and tried to pin him to the ground.

He struggled, trying to pull the flash drive out of his hand.

The figure smirked. Perry looked deep into his face, a face that was exactly identical to his, except maybe a few years younger, and felt his anger begin to take over. Perry grabbed the man and threw him across the room.

His twin crashed, but all he did was laugh. He picked up one of his blasters and began shooting. Perry dodged the first two shots, but got hit by the third directly in the chest. He fell to the ground, cramping from pain.

Heinz was finally standing, looking back and forth between the two in complete shock.

The figure stood, brushed himself off, and held the blasters to their heads. “My name is Dr. Tecton, in case you were still wondering.” He purred. “And this won’t be the last of me.”

Dr. Tecton, with rockets on the end of his boots, jumped up to the ceiling and disappeared to the sky, flash drive in hand. Perry managed to sit up, and watched him leave, unable to comprehend anything that had just happened.

Perry and Heinz sat in silence for a minute. It wasn’t until reality began to set in that the two looked at each other.


	21. Chapter 21

Perry felt his whole body go cold. The doctor’s face was slowly turning from shock into confusion.

“Wait.. Michael? How did you get here? And where is Perry the Platypus?” He cried.

The agent sighed, and picked up his hat. “It’s me, D. It’s always just been me.”

Doofenshmirtz looked as if he didn’t want to believe the man, and almost tried to defy it, but the Perry set the now-too-small fedora on his head, the doctor’s expression turned from confused into pure enragement. “Perry? What? How? When? How?” He snapped. “You.. you are.. what?..”

Perry stood, clutching his chest in pain. “Are you hurt?”

“Am I what?”

“Are you hurt?” The agent snapped.

Heinz jumped. “I.. no, I’m not. Wait a second. So.. so you’ve been spying on me through this.. this human persona all this time?”

“No.” Perry winced. “I didn’t..”

“Yes.” Heinz cried. “Yes you were! You were pretending to be.. to be a  _server_  at a restaurant- which by the way, is the _worst_ possible undercover idea- and made me trust you! How dare you! How dare you do this to me!”

Perry’s mind was beginning to break down. He was still very angry, and was having a hard time feeling compassionate for the doctor at that moment. The agent grabbed up the tools that Dr. Tecton had dropped to the floor and began reassembling them, ignoring Doof.

“Hello! Are you even listening? I said how _dare_ you!”

“I wasn’t trying to spy on you!” Perry snapped, turning around. “Do you have any idea how annoying it is to serve a customer that literally expects everything a certain way?”

“Oh, so now I’m annoying? Well how about this. I _hate_ you!”

Perry groaned. “I don’t have time for this right now. I have to go.”

“Yeah, yeah, you run away.” Doofenshmirtz shouted. “But just know that I _never_ want to see your face again.”

Perry was already running out the door as the doctor shouted those last words. A part of his mind was begging that he return and try to explain his reasoning to the man, but the larger part of his mind was already focused on something else far more demanding.

There was now an evil version of him loose in the streets of Danville. Dr. Tecton, the evil scientist Perry used to be all those years ago, the version of himself he’d kept inside his mind and chained up for years, was now free and out of his control. And what’s worst, he was a 3D imitation of Perry’s worst fear; there was no doubt in the agent’s mind that this creation of a man was cruel, manipulative, and all around evil beyond any words possible to describe. Dr. Tecton was literally soulless.

Perry ran straight into his apartment and grabbed his laptop.

To make matters worse, Dr. Tecton had stolen the flash drive he was supposed to give to Professor Gevaarlijk. No doubt the evil scientist was on his way right now to deliver it, and to possibly form an alliance with the group. Perry shuddered. With the information they’d have on him now..

What should he do? Should he tell O.W.C.A.? Could he?

On one hand, Perry knew that Dr. Tecton, like himself, wouldn’t act quickly. He’d linger in the shadows until it was the perfect time to strike. This gave Perry time to take care of the problem before it blew up too far. On the other hand, maybe Dr. Tecton would know that that was Perry’s plan, and would take steps to make sure Perry would fail?

Perry grumbled. This was getting him nowhere. He only had one possible location for where his evil twin would be going. He had to take care of the problem now.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

The agent followed the address on his phone, using his jetpack to get there. It wasn’t like they didn’t know he was coming. He was armed this time, with two blasters and a SIG. If he had to kill, then so be it.

The destination was quite different from the abandoned factory he’d been in last time. Although the building was located right outside of Danville, and quite far from the largest population, it was big and absolutely beautiful, with glass windows and huge concrete steps running up to the front door.

Perry landed on top of the roof and used his X-ray pen to see what was going on.

The building was mostly empty. Dr. Tecton was definitely there, however, along with Dr. Gevaarlijk, and several other figures in lab coats. There was also a figure that was completely covered in material from head to toe. Perry recognized him as the guy that tried to follow him on a motorcycle.

Now determined, Perry crashed through one of the windows on the top floor and crawled into the air vents. Squeezing through was definitely possible, but a bit difficult as a human. However, Perry was determined to make it through with all three of his weapons.  
Once the agent had landed right above the scientists, he watched the scene unfold.

The room was decorated completely with wood, with three clocks sitting parallel to each other above the front doorway. Dr. Tecton and the cloaked figure stood next to each other, facing Dr. Gevaarlijk and four other evil scientists that were sitting in chairs around the table. It looked as if they were having a conference meeting.

Perry pulled out his SIG and pointed it right at Dr. Tecton’s head. The solution was so simple. And it wasn’t like the “man” was even real.

But the platypus hesitated. The agent on the side of good that he had become could no longer make these decisions so easily. Finally submitting to his humanity, he instead grabbed the blaster, and made the first shot.

Dr. Tecton fell to the ground. The cloaked figure ran out of the room. The evil scientists all stood and grabbed weapons of their own. Perry ducked as they fired up at the air vent. He crossed over and landed in an adjacent room.

The four burst in, ready to attack. Perry ducked two of their shots and used the blaster to knock two of the scientists to the ground, unconscious. He ducked the third’s punch and knocked him in the face. The third scientist collapsed, out cold.

Perry smirked and attacked the forth. The scientist shot three blasts towards him, one which caught him on the cheek. Perry growled, feeling the blood rushing down his face. He shot his own beam at the man’s head, forcing him against the wall and onto the table.

Dr. Gevaarlijk was the last woman standing. Perry held out his SIG, cocked and loaded. He growled at her smirk.

“Surrender.” He gasped. “Or you’re next.”

Dr. Gevaarlijk laughed. It was high-pitched and chilling, making Perry’s spine tingle. “Oh, you fool.” She gasped for breath. “Even when you have the upper hand, you still can’t seem to get it right.”

Suddenly, Dr. Tecton jumped into the room, blocking Perry’s path. He approached the agent with a wide smirk. The scientist stepped up to the gun, till it was pressed against his chest.

“Do it.” He breathed. “I dare you.”

Perry’s fingers were on the trigger. Everything in his mind was screaming to just do, end it, finish him. But a small, child-like voice begged him not to. He was better than this. He’d learned better than this.

Instead, Perry snapped and hit the man across the face with the gun. Dr. Tecton stepped backwards, now bleeding across the cheek too. Enraged, he stepped forward and pulled out his own blaster.

Perry ducked. The two jumped. Perry grabbed his arm and tried to twist it. Dr. Tecton pulled backwards and tripped the agent. He then pinned him to the ground, punching him in the face. The SIG fell out of Perry’s hands.

One punch. Two punches. Perry cried out, blood running down his entire face. Angry, he finally used his legs to kick the man off. Dr. Tecton winced in pain, but managed to recover quickly. He grabbed Perry again.

But Perry deflected, and punched him in the stomach. Dr. Tecton went sprawling back.

Perry grabbed the SIG and lifted it. He was almost ready to pull the trigger, when something shot him in the chest.

Dr. Gevaarlijk laughed as Perry fell to the ground. Dr. Tecton recovered and jumped on top of him, punching him again and again and again.

It was agony. It felt like hours. Perry felt like his body was breaking into little pieces. He finally grabbed his watch, transformed into a platypus, and slipped out of Dr. Tecton’s grasp. He jumped out of the room and crashed through one of the windows.

The agent managed to activate his parachute. Blasts from the building tried to hit him, but he somehow ducked, and left the building using his jetpack, as fast as he could.


	22. Chapter 22

Dr. Doofenshmirtz watched the platypus-now-turned-human hurry out the door without so much as a goodbye or an “I’m sorry for the lies.”

It was very off-putting. The man cursed himself for how heart-broken he actually felt. Of course, the one person he hated, and the one person he’d really grown to see as a friend, were actually just one and the same. That was just his life, wasn’t it. Who could he really trust?

Doofenshmirtz kicked his Worst-Fear-Inator, then cursed himself again when he stubbed his toe. He danced around the room for a minute, muttering under his breath.

To be honest, he wasn’t entirely sure what had happened in the last hour. So Perry’s worst fear was.. another evil scientist? One that named himself as Dr. Tecton. The name actually sounded rather familiar. Now curious, the doctor sat down at his computer and typed out the name.

Articles upon articles came up, all with headlines titled something like _Man Destroys Seattle_ or _Seattle in Complete Ruin After Alleged Terrorist Attack._

Had Perry fought this man? What had he done to him?

Doofenshmirtz closed the tab and looked around at the mess in his apartment. He guessed he might as well start cleaning up.

The evil scientist spent the next hour trying very hard not to think about the man with the teal hair and the weird piercings, but his face kept popping up in his brain from time to time. Those memories, their hang out, the blushing looks Michael would give him from across the table.. those were all fake. Lies.

_Lies. Lies. Lies._

Heinz wanted to point the blame at his nemesis, curse him until he could no longer speak. His nemesis had deliberately lied and manipulated him and his emotions. It was stupid Perry the Platypus’s fault.

Or maybe.. maybe he was just unlovable. Maybe he didn’t deserve anyone, not even his own nemesis.

With a sigh, Heinz turned on the TV and returned to the cheese horror movies he’d been watching, hoping to forget his dramatic thoughts.

About another hour later, there was a knock at his door. Heinz paused the TV, confused. He wasn’t expecting Charlene, and it was too late for the usual solicitors to come by, trying to sell him something.

Grumbling, Heinz got up and opened the door.

“Hello?..”

Michael. Or Perry. Whatever his name was, he was standing in front of Heinz’s door. However, he was barely recognizable, as blood was streaming down his entire face, dripping onto his shoulders.

Dr. D. was about to speak, when the man’s eyes rolled to the back of his head, and he began to fall. Heinz caught him by his chest, and awkwardly pulled him inside, hoping the blood hadn’t dripped where someone could see.

“Vanessa! Vanessa! Help!”

He managed to drag Perry to the couch before his daughter came walking into the room.

“What, Dad, I’m trying to study for.. Agh!” Vanessa gasped at the limp figure on the couch. “Dad.. who?..”

“It’s Perry! I know, he’s a human Perry, it’s very confusing, I promise it’s him! Just, help me close up his wounds. Get me some rubbing alcohol and a bunch of old t-shirts from my closet. Hurry!”

Vanessa’s eyes widened, but she made no other comments. She darted into the back room and was back with several pieces of clothing. She ripped them into pieces as he applied the alcohol to the man’s wounds. Then, together, they wrapped his shoulders and arms with the t-shirts.

The majority of the man’s wounds were around his face, however. Doofenshmirtz carefully wrapped a cloth around his forehead, then proceeded to apply bandages to the man’s cheeks. It didn’t look like there were any bullets or anything. Thank goodness.

Once they were finished, they stood back and watched him breath. At least he was breathing fine. It didn’t seem like he had any broken bones or internal bleeding. Doofenshmirtz considered calling the hospital, but something told him Perry would be very upset about that. Should he alert O.W.C.A.?

Apparently he had voiced this last thought out loud because Vanessa dramatically shook her head. “No, don’t. I mean.. It’s a little weird that Perry came here, instead of going to the agency, right? There must be a reason.”

Doofenshmirtz nodded. There must be. Maybe it had to do with the mysterious Dr. Tecton.

“I guess we just have to leave him here.” Heinz sighed. “I don’t think we can safely move him at this point.”

“No, probably not.” Vanessa shrugged. “Do you want me to help you keep watch?”

“That’s okay, Pumpkin. I don’t think I was going to sleep much tonight, anyway.”

“Everything okay, Dad?”

“Yeah, Sweetie. It’s just been a long day. I’ll let you know when he wakes up.”

  
~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Perry groaned. He felt like he’d been run over by a train.

The room was dark, but oddly familiar. Perry opened his eyes, taking in small details as his vision focused. He examined his arms, which he been tightly wrapped up. They hurt like hell. And his head.. ugh. It felt like his skull was being forced into a kick drum.

The agent managed to sit up just a bit. He focused his vision even more, and his eyes landed on Doofenshmirtz’s Worst-Fear-Inator.

Ah. Now he remembered.

Dr. Tecton. Dr. Gevaarlijk. The flash drive. The pain. Doofenshmirtz.

“Hey, how are you feeling?”

Doofenshmirtz was now standing over him, his brow knit with concern. Perry flinched, but kept his gaze focused on the man. He had never noticed how soft the doctor’s hair had looked before. Interesting.

Perry quickly shushed those thoughts away. He groaned and laid back down. “I’m sorry.”

“Look, I’m still mad at you.” Heinz sighed. “But don’t worry about that right now. Just rest and get better. Let me know if you need anything.”

Perry wanted to argue, and ask lots of questions, but his exhaustion was quickly taking over. Closing his eyes, he decided to heed the man’s advice.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

When Perry woke again, the pain was even worse than earlier. He let out a frustrated sigh and lifted his arms to touch his head. It was hot to the touch, and very sore.

When he opened his eyes, he noticed it was pitch black outside. What time was it?

“You okay?”Doofenshmirtz. Had the man been watching over him the whole time? Perry managed to nod, closing his eyes again.

“I have some pain reliever. I think you should take some. Unless.. you aren’t allergic to anything, are you?”

Perry shook his head and gratefully held out his hand. The doctor poured two pills out and handed him a glass of water. Slowly, the man sat up and swallowed the pills. He downed the whole glass of water. He hadn’t realized how dehydrated he felt.

“Do you want any more water?”

  
“I’m okay. Thank you.”

Perry was already laying down and falling asleep again. He immediately felt the pain begin to melt away, and it allowed his body to relax. He fell into a dreamless sleep, happy to forget the real world for a little while.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Doofenshmirtz watched his nemesis begin to fall asleep once more. The man looked so peaceful when he slept, nothing like the defensive, violent platypus or the stoic, guarded human he’d grown to know.

Vanessa snuck in at about ten o’clock and gave him a goodnight kiss. She handed him a bowl of grits and a piece of toast.

“You haven’t eaten.”

“Thanks, Sweetheart.” He smiled, taking a bite of the grits and sighing contentedly.

“How’s he doing?”

“He’s still in a lot of pain, but he just took some medicine. Hopefully it’ll help.”

“Alright, Dad. Please wake me if you get tired, okay?”

He nodded. “Thank you.”

He watched Vanessa slip out of the room, and slowly ate the food she’d made him. It caused his body to become heavy and tired, but his mind was still wide awake, racing.

He had so many questions to ask. He felt like yelling at the man and also hugging him. What was he supposed to do with all these confusing emotions? Usually he just dealt with them by coming up with some crazy inator that would fix the problem for him. But that solution wasn’t going to work this time..

The man didn’t even realize when his shoulders drooped and he drifted off.

 


	23. Chapter 23

Perry blinked. There was now sunshine flowing through the upper windows, illuminating the Worst-Fear-Inator that was still erected in the middle of the room. He really needed to destroy that thing.

The man tried to sit up, feeling very groggy and sore. Thankfully his head trauma had been reduced to a dull ache, and his arms were hurting less than they had been. His bandages were covered in dried blood, however, and his wounds were starting to itch.

When he turned his head to look around, he noticed Doofenshmirtz in a chair next to him, asleep, head drooped onto his chest. Perry winced; the man was going to have a bad crick in his neck. There was also an empty plate on the floor next to him.

“Heinz.” Perry coughed. He reached out and gently grabbed the man’s wrist, shaking it.

Doofenshmirtz snorted, bobbing his head, before opening his eyes and yawning. He started to stretch, then groaned in pain.

“Oh, god, my neck.” He sighed. “How did I?..”

The scientist glanced up and looked into Perry’s eyes. “Oh, you’re awake. How are you feeling?.. Perry.”

“My legal name is Perry Michael.” The platypus murmured. “So either name is technically correct.”

“Right.” Heinz replied shortly. Apparently this was still a really sore subject. Perry didn’t exactly blame him for being mad, though. He knew he’d taken the whole “server” role too far.

“Thanks for taking care of me.” The platypus spoke after an awkward moment of silence. “I’m sorry to just.. barge in like that. I just.. didn’t know where to go.”

“Doesn’t your agency own a medical ward?”

Perry didn’t reply. That was a question he was definitely not answering. Heinz seemed to recognize the hint and didn’t say anything further about it. Instead, the man stood, stretched his back, and picked up the empty plate. “Are you hungry? Do you need anything?”

“I’m okay.” Perry lied. He was actually starving, but he was suddenly starting to feel really guilty.

Heinz turned around and put his hands on his hips. “I know for a fact that you haven’t eaten since at least two o’clock yesterday, because that’s when you landed on my doorstep, unconscious. You are hungry, I know it.”

Perry blushed and looked away. “It’s okay, really. I’ll take care of it.”

  
“You’re not actually leaving, are you?” The scientist snapped.

Perry raised an eyebrow. “And?”

“Are you kidding?!” The man cried. “You look like the walking dead! Somebody out there almost tried to beat you to a pulp, and you just want to hobble out of here? What if they tried to attack you again, huh, smart guy? What then?”

Perry growled. “I’m not weak, D.”

“Yeah, well you certainly are stubborn. Fine, do what you want. But just so you know, if you get beaten up again, I’m not going to come to your rescue this time!”

Perry sighed. “You’re angry.”

“Of course I’m angry! You lied to me! YOU.. ugh.” The man rubbed his hands against his face. “Can we talk about this later? I’m not in the mood. I’m making some eggs and a pot of coffee. And you are eating some.”

Perry said nothing further and let the man disappear into the kitchen. His head was spinning with thoughts and emotions, but he mentally bit down on them like a bear trap and forced them to dissolve.

After a few minutes, the wonderful smell of eggs began to waft throughout the apartment. Perry’s stomach started to grumble in desperate pleading.

Suddenly, Vanessa Doofenshmirtz walked into the room. She was wearing a pair of black pajamas and mismatched socks, but her hair and make up were done. Yawning, her eyes landed on Perry. He awkwardly smiled at her. Had she told her father anything?

Before she could say anything, Doofenshmirtz burst his head into the room. “Hey, Perry, do you.. Oh, hello, Vanessa! Do you want some eggs?”

“Yes, please.” She giggled. “Are you okay, Dad?”

“Yeah. Perry, do you want orange juice, milk, or coffee?”

  
“Coffee is fine. Black.”

The scientist nodded. “Vanessa, meet Perry the Platypus-turned-human. Perry the Platypus-turned-human.. well, you know Vanessa.” He then vanished back into the kitchen.

Vanessa sighed at sat down in the chair that her father had fallen asleep in last night. “I didn’t tell him anything.” She whispered.

Perry nodded. “Thank you. I’m sorry. I promise, I won't ask you to keep secrets for very long.”

“What happened?” She questioned. “Who did this to you?”

But before he could reply, the doctor marched in with three plates of fresh eggs and bacon, along with a pot of warm coffee. He set everything on a spare table across the room, and pulled it up to where they were seated. Doofenshmirtz grabbed his own chair and sat across from them.

The man looked exhausted. Perry began to feel guilty again.

“This looks very good, Dad.” Vanessa smiled softly.

Perry nodded his approval as well and poured himself a cup of coffee. The warm liquid felt amazing against his throat, and he spent a moment to relish in the feeling. After a couple of sips, he took a bite of the eggs. They were delicious, and perfectly seasoned.

The three sat in complete silence. It was very strange having breakfast with the two of them. He suddenly thought about the Flynn-Fletchers, who were probably wondering where he was, and cringed. Hopefully they would continue to think he’d come back soon. Surely they weren’t freaking out quite yet.

Once Vanessa finished, she stood and offered to take his plate. Perry awkwardly said his thanks and let her take it. He squirmed; it was so weird letting them do these things for him. He felt a bit stupid and weak, sat there like a bandaged animal.

Doofenshmirtz didn’t move until he finished his coffee, then disappeared upstairs to change into a different lab coat.

Vanessa sat on the couch next to him and patted his hand. “I’m sorry. My dad.. he can be very emotional. I’m sure it’s just a shock.”

“Vanessa, I..” Perry stumbled on his words. Should he even tell her about his job at Vintage Docks and what happened with her father there? Was it necessary to bring a minor into these adult problems? He sighed. He felt as if he shouldn’t. So he cleared his throat. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to barge into your home and..”

Vanessa laughed. “My dad is a grumpy butt sometimes, but the way I see it, you are pretty much already considered family. He’ll come around, you’ll see.”

Heinz returned just as Vanessa was leaving to change. He had a new bundle of fabric strips with him, and some more rubbing alcohol. Perry sighed as the man laid it on the table.

“Those bandages need to be changed, or they’ll get infected.”

Perry grimaced. “Thank you.” He went to reach for the scissors, but Doofenshmirtz stopped him.

“Let me help you.”

Perry watched him curiously for a moment. He was definitely not comfortable letting the man operate on his wounds, especially when he was so vulnerable. But then again, the man had literally patched him up and watched over him the night before. Surely it was safe this one time.

Doofenshmirtz seemed to notice his hesitation, but didn’t say anything, and let him make up his mind. Perry wondered if the reason the man was being so calm at the moment was because he was a parent.

“Alright. You’re the doctor.” He chuckled lightly.

Doofenshmirtz cut off each of the bandages and one by one cleaned them with the alcohol and replaced them with a fresh one. Perry winced a few times at the pain, but managed to keep his body still. He kept his eyes away from the doctor’s the whole time, unable to look at them.

Once Heinz was done, he threw out the old bandages and returned with a few magazines.

“I have to go to the store and get some supplies. You need to stay put and rest. Do you need anything while I’m out?”

Perry smirked. Was he the child now? “Nothing I can think of.”

“Alright, well, you have my number. Text me if you think of something. I’ll be back in a couple of hours. Your fedora is under the couch. If you need it.”

Perry nodded his thanks and watched the doctor walk out of the door. As soon as the man was gone, he grabbed his fedora and placed it next to him. The hat barely had anything in it now, but he relaxed knowing it was there.

He sighed. Doofenshmirtz purchasing items meant a new mission for him. How was he supposed to explain this to O.W.C.A.?

Worried, the platypus decided to call Lyla. She picked up immediately.

“Hey, partner, long time, no hear!” She grinned. “What’s up?”

“Hey, Lyla. Listen. I, um. I have a lot to explain.”

Perry rambled through the whole story, discretely leaving out information about the flash drive and the fact that the person who beat him up was actually an evil version of himself. By the time he was finished, Lyla was gasping. “You’re at Doofenshmirtz’s? Your nemesis? Perry what are you thinking?” She cried. “Are you sure?..”

“It’s alright for now. Don’t worry, I’m being careful.”

“Because careful for you has always worked out.” She snapped. “So what are you going to do about the evil scientists, and the guy who beat you up? Surely now it’s time to get O.W.C.A. involved..”

“I don’t know, Lyla. If they discover my secret..”

“Surely they won’t fire you just for being half human. You’re the best they’ve got! They will overlook it, I promise you..”

Perry swallowed. He wished he could fully explain why O.W.C.A. was not going to forgive him so easily, but the thought of telling her about his evil past.. he still just couldn’t. “I know. But I can’t, okay? I can’t risk it. This job.. it’s everything. Listen. I have a plan. Are you willing to help me?”

“Anything, Perry. You know that.”

“Alright. I’ll keep in touch. Thank you for, you know, being there.”

“We’re partners, silly. I’ve got your back.”

 


	24. Chapter 24

Phineas and Ferb were in the middle of constructing a flying car. Isabella and Baljeet were helping them assemble the parts, laughing and chatting about how much fun it was going to be flying it around Danville.

Phineas joined in the fun, but only half-heartedly. He was secretly a little worried about Perry. Yeah, the platypus had been disappearing a lot more lately, and always ended up coming home. But it was so unnerving when he wasn’t home for more than twenty-four hours. What if..

Ferb suddenly put his hand on his shoulder. Phineas smiled. They couldn’t worry about Perry now. They had another mission to settle on.

Although the flying car was going to be fun now, Phineas couldn’t wait till they got to use it for its real purpose. They had finally developed a device capable of recording their dreams. Sure enough, they had both been having the same dream, only from slightly different perspectives, and saw the same man in those dreams. Now that they had a picture, they planned on looking for him. And hopefully, they would find him soon. These strange dreams were really starting to get to him..

“Phineas, are you okay?”

Isabella was looking at him rather oddly. Phineas forced a smile and shook his head. “Of course! Sorry. Lost in thought. Where were we?”

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Thankfully, Lyla was able to convince Major Monogram that Perry really wanted to take a week to visit her in Canada. Since Perry never asked for vacation time, the major complied, so long as Doofenshmirtz didn’t do anything too ridiculous. Perry hoped the evil scientist could keep from being tempted for a few days.

Perry had already read through the magazines in about twenty minutes, and was now bored. He tried to stand and walk around. His legs were stiff, but at least they weren’t as bruised as his arms and face. He managed to take two laps around the room before feeling nauseous.

As he was walking around the apartment, his gaze landed on a book tossed to the side. It must have flown off the table during their last fight. Perry picked it up and dusted it off. It was Dr. Wexler’s biography, Inside an Evil Mind. There was a bookmark still lodged into the middle.

The temptation was too great. The agent took the book and returned to the couch. Upon opening it to the designated page, he saw a quote that had been underlined and circled dozens of times. It was the exact same quote that had gotten him through a lot of hard times in his days as an evil scientist.

_“My advice to those who deal with the direct denial of everyone around you, to those who feel the hatred, mockery, and fear from the crowd, and yes, even from friends and family. Revel in it. Revel in the hate. For evil begins with the pain and suffering of a broken heart.”_

He hadn’t read this book in forever. Before he realized what he was doing, Perry was turning to the beginning, and became absorbed in the words on the pages. The memories that flooded through him weren’t necessarily bad memories, rather, they reminded him of all the hard work he’d put into his inventions and his career.

He was so absorbed in the book and his memories, in fact, that he didn’t hear Doofenshmirtz return.

“Whoa. Are you reading my Dr. Wexler biography?”

Perry glanced up, startled. The man had a bag full of groceries and his usual collection of freshly washed lab coats, and was staring at him quizzically.

_Whoops._

Perry coughed, trying to look unsurprised. “I’ve read this before. It’s just been awhile. I’m sorry, I found it and was curious.”

“You’ve read it before?”

  
“Knowledge is knowledge.” The man shrugged. “I like to understand all sides of a war.”

Doofenshmirtz didn’t look convinced, but didn’t make a further comment. He dropped the bags in the kitchen and returned with a few random books. “I got these little puzzle books at the store. I’m sure they’re cheesy, but I thought you’d be bored, and you seem like the type of guy to like puzzles..”

“Thank you.” Perry nodded. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“Yeah, well..” Doofenshmirtz shrugged.

Perry looked at the puzzle books, confused. The man claimed to be extremely angry at him, yet was treating him like a VIP guest. It couldn’t just be because Perry was hurt, even if it had been pretty brutal. He desperately wished to know what was going on in the man’s mind.

“Is Vanessa still here?”

“She went to visit a friend.” Perry sighed. “Someone named Lacy.”

“Ah, yeah. I think they had planned to go to a movie today.”

Silence. Perry watched as the man began removing random parts from his bag and placing them in the apartment.

“Can I help you with anything?”

Doofenshmirtz didn’t even look over at him. “I’m fine. You need to heal.”

Perry slumped back into the couch and picked up the book again. The man was acting very, very strange and it was starting to make Perry nervous. He found the last paragraph he’d been reading and continued to dig into the pages.

_“Evil is not a hatred for all things good, or wonderful in this world, as some might believe. It is, in fact, the manifestation of the only love that shall ever survive in this world. The love of the self. What I do is not for the demeaning of others, but rather the only way I know how to contribute to the wealthy and survival of humanity.”_

Perry didn’t realize he’d spoken that quote out loud until Dr. Doofenshmirtz stopped and looked at him.

“You like that line?” Heinz asked, amused.

Perry cocked an eyebrow. “This man is very misguided.”

_Of course, I once thought like him, but oh well.._

Doofenshmirtz shrugged. “I wouldn’t expect you to understand.”

Perry wanted to retort, but kept his mouth shut. There was no point in arguing about this topic, especially when he wasn’t sure how much he wanted the doctor to know. The man had been very civil, maybe as far as nice to him recently, but that still didn’t change years of their nemesis-ship.

“You know,” Heinz continued off-handedly. “Michael told me once that he liked to tinker. Was that really true?”

“It was. You knew that. I’ve helped you on many of your inventions and projects..”

“Yes, I knew you could, I just didn’t know you actually liked to.” Doof explained. “You also said something about inators.” He crossed his arms.

“I didn’t say anything about inators.”

“Yes, you did, you said-“

“No, I called them ‘unnecessary devices’.”

“Well, you called them ‘unnecessary devices that bent the laws of nature to make things go your way’. That’s basically an inator.” The man argued. “And you say that you weren’t spying on me.”

Perry groaned. “I wasn’t spying. I’m sorry, I just..”

“Wanted to get my attention? Make me trust you? Honestly..” The man threw up his arms in frustration. “I can’t believe you’re still trying to deny this.”

“D..”

“No, I know you, you O.W.C.A. agents spy on us all the time. There’s no way you didn’t know that I go to that specific restaurant every Friday night! You guys- Major Monogram probably- came up with this brilliant idea to turn you human, and then make a fool out of me! See, you don’t deny it, do you? You don’t deny that you and all your little O.W.C.A. friends were laughing at how stupid and worthless I am..”The man was now borderline hysterical.

Perry jumped up, despite the pain. “HEINZ.”

The man stopped, his face completely red.

“Look. This was not the agency, okay? I voluntarily decided to take on another job for my own personal interest. They have no idea I even have the serving job.”

“I doubt that.” Heinz protested.

“I’ll admit, I was trying to get a rise out of you by mentioning ‘unnecessary devices’. But it stopped there. I actually..” Perry blushed, suddenly realizing how hard this was for him to say. “I.. _liked_ hanging out. It was nice just to get to see you without having to keep this professional, nemesis-based relationship.”

Heinz blinked. “Really?”

“Yes, really. Look. I’m human, okay? This is me. This man you see here is the real me.” Perry dramatically motioned to his body. “It’s just that these last few years, I’ve spent a lot of my time as this platypus and well. It’s draining after awhile. I wanted to do something outside of the agency, something that required me to be human.

Maybe, maybe, I did know at one time that you visited that restaurant every Friday night. But after our first two weeks of being nemesis’s, according to the agency, spying on you is no longer my job. My job is to be your nemesis. So, even if I did know at one point, which I might have, that you visit that restaurant, I didn’t remember when I decided to take the job.

And then you sat at my table and well.. it all just happened. So, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for keeping this secret. I just didn’t know what to do. Maybe it was fun to remember being fully human with real human friendships for once.”

Now Perry was almost hysterical. He forced himself to clear his mind and calm down. The man returned to the couch and put his hands on his head.

Doofenshmirtz didn’t say anything for a minute, but eventually sat down next to him and put his hand on his shoulder. “Alright, alright. I believe you. And I forgive you.”

As an added thought, Heinz whispered. “Does O.W.C.A. know?”

Perry shook his head. “And if you really are my nemesis, you’d keep it that way. Else I’m definitely going to be terminated.”


	25. Chapter 25

Dr. Gevaarlijk couldn’t believe her luck. Despite all odds, her evil plan had turned out even better than she’d previously hoped.

The man that stood before her was vibrating with vengeance- a truly mastered example of evil perfection. He held the flash drive out to her with a small bow, his lips quirked up in a smirk. She warily took the object from his hands, examining it.

“Who are you?” She questioned.

“I think the more appropriate question is ‘who I am not’.” He purred. “For years, Perry has trapped me deep inside his mind. But now. I’m finally free. And if you’ll have me-“ he bowed again, “-I think we can make quite the team.”

Dr. Gevaarlijk glanced over him once more. The man was somehow younger than Perry Michael, with jet black hair instead of teal. Yes, now she remembered. She recognized him from the shocking newspaper images from years before. This was the true Dr. Tecton.

“How is it possible?” She prodded. “Surely this is the work of a genius.”

“I’d watch your words.” He clicked. “Dr. Doofenshmirtz is an idiot, but he has his moments.”

“That.. Ridiculous, ludicrous, worthless _baboon_ created you?”

“He didn’t know what he was doing, but I guess fate was bound to happen. I’ve studied you from the shadows. I know your views are in line with my own.” Dr. Tecton smiled. “I’m willing to help.”

“Why?”

“Because..” He sighed. “I want to watch this world burn as much as you do.”

She studied him for another moment, wondering what bringing on such an unstable, unpredictable member would do for their mission. However, she’d also been studying this character from the shadows. She knew of his power and his intellect. He could prove very valuable. And without the useless morals that was holding Perry back from his own evil greatness.. He would be unstoppable.

Maybe he even knew some secrets from O.W.C.A.

With her mind made up, Dr. Gevaarlijk pocketed the flash drive and motioned for the man to follow her. They stepped into the elevator, and the woman pushed the very last button on the keypad. The elevator cart shot down to the very bottom floor, deep underground their designated building.

The doors opened up to a metal hallway, dimly illuminated. There were many laboratories attached to the hallway, each labeled with a different number. However, Dr. Gevaarlijk led her new guest to the very last door.

Upon opening it, she revealed a room full of evil scientists, working on different chemical compounds. Five groups of them were working on a unique formulas, and testing them on hundreds of caged lab rats. The progress stretched down for miles. The professor smirked at Dr. Tecton’s gasp of awe.

“This,” she smiled, “will be the undoing of the world. With your expertise, I’m sure our goal will be achievable.”

Dr. Tecton turned to her, grinning from ear to ear, a sinister glint shining in his eyes.

“To the undoing of the world.”

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

_Good morning, Perry. I heard you were in Canada._

Pinky’s high-pitched bark was very comforting to Perry’s nervous mind. He’d been wondering how the chihuahua was faring with all the chaos from their latest endeavor. He held his watch closer to his ear.

Perry chattered. _Yeah, I haven’t visited with Lyla in awhile. I also think it’s best if you and I aren’t near each other for awhile._

Agreed. By the way, I checked on Phineas and Ferb this morning. The boys are fine, and are playing with tire swings with my Isabella. They seem worried about you, though.

Perry breathed a sigh of relief. _I know. I will be home soon._

_I will keep an eye on them, though. By the way, we arrested and interviewed the fiends that attacked O.W.C.A. at the graduation ceremony. You know, the ones who provided us a distraction?_

_Yes.._ Perry held his breath. _And?_

Turns out it was Orville Roddenstein, and a few of his teenager friends. They stole some agent’s keycard, probably from the nemesis of one of their parents, and used it to walk in and distrust the ceremony.

Perry’s heart skipped a beat. _Is there a determined motive?_

_Only stupid ideas of grandeur. But we honestly didn’t get very far. All the kids were bailed from jail by their parents, and now are refusing to cooperate. Now we’ve reached a dead end. I think Major Monogram is going to have to close it for the time being, though the whole agency is on edge._

_I bet._ Perry grimaced. I _’m sorry I dragged you in this mess._

_Anything for your boys, Perry. Besides, I think our asses are covered. I’m sorry, I have to go, but I wish you the best with Lyla._

_Bye, Pinky._

Once he was sure the connection was closed, Perry pulled the microchip out of his watch and cried out as his platypus body stretched into that of a human’s once more. The transformation was probably not very good for his healing body. The agent had to grab his head and wait for  
a dramatic bout of nausea to pass before he could move again.

So, Orville was up to no good again. Just like his father, that one. But the question was, was Vanessa involved? Where had they gotten that keycard? Feeling ill, but this time from his burning questions, Perry forced himself to get up.

Once he was able to stand, he walked down to Doofenshmirtz’s kitchen table and returned to the hundreds of blueprints laid all over the room.

The agent had been spending his recovery trying to come up with a plan of action against his evil self, using knowledge of his own weaknesses to create a solution. However, no matter how hard he looked, the answer seemed to jump farther and farther from his grasp. His mind kept coming up with ways the device could be defeated.

When Doofenshmirtz walked past the kitchen, he noticed Perry and backtracked to take a closer look. “What are you doing?”

“Heinz.” Perry coughed, looking up. “Good morning. Sorry. I’ll clean up the mess when I’m done.”

“It’s okay.” The man shrugged. “My kitchen table usually looks like this. What are you trying to do?”

Perry swirled a pencil in his fingers. “Well. Dr. Tecton is still out there. I need a plan.”“And you haven’t talked to Major Monobrow?”

The platypus wanted to growl, but bit it back. “It’s my problem. I’ll take care of it.”

“Well, it’s technically our problem, since I’m the one who, you know, caused this situation in the first place. So how can I help?”

Perry glanced at the doctor with a raised eyebrow. Ever since their awkward but truthful conversation from the day before, communication between the two had been significantly lighter and friendlier. But Perry was still waiting for the moment when everything would return to how it was before. 

  
“I wish I knew.” He finally admitted. “By the way, have you seen Vanessa?”

“She’s out with a friend, I think.” Heinz raised an eyebrow. “Why?”

Agent P. emerged as Perry let out a quick lie. “It’s a friend’s birthday coming up, and they’re into the whole goth lifestyle. Thought I’d ask her for present ideas.”

“Ah.” The man shrugged. “Well, she’ll be back later tonight.”

Doofenshmirtz had set down the stack of books he’d been carrying and took a seat at the table. Changing the subject, he asked, “Who was this guy to you, anyway? I mean, I know he died a long time ago. I looked him up on the internet. All the news articles say he attacked Seattle, completely destroyed it, and then was found dead not too long afterwards. Did you battle him?”

Perry felt his stomach flip. Completely destroyed it. Terrible memories of that night began flashing through his mind. The fight, the fires, the robots, his anger, his hate, his destruction.. The one time O.W.C.A. had been unable to defeat him.

He remembered faking his own death not too long after the news helicopters had come flying over the city. It had either been that, or suicide. So he’d chosen to let the world think he’d fallen prey to his own robots, like a horrible virus gone wrong, and was left for dead.

“Hello, Perry?” Doof was snapping his fingers. “You listening?”

Perry shook his head. There was no use delving into those memories now. “Yes.” He finally murmured. “I battled him.”

“He must have really terrified you.”

“He was a monster.”

The two lapsed into silence for a moment. Perry finally felt his frustration taking over and pushed the blueprints to the side. There was nothing in these ideas that was going to help him solve this problem.

“You know what helps me in times of evil scientist block?” Doofenshmirtz suddenly announced.

Perry lifted his head.

“A painful backstory!”

“You mean, you haven’t told me all of them yet?” Perry gaped. “I know your childhood was crap, but there’s still more?”

The doctor crossed his arms. “I wasn’t talking about me, you dummkopf. I meant your backstories.”

“My backstories? I don’t have ‘backstories’.”

“Oh, come on.” Doofenshmirtz snapped, waving his arms dramatically. “You can actually talk, and yet I still know nothing about your life! Why do you have to be so closed-off, Perry-the-human? You don’t have to tell me everything, just.. what you like, where you grew up, what you did for your fifth birthday party, and so on..”

Perry wanted to protest, or better yet, continue on the conversation in complete silence. But he knew this man’s stubbornness was just as bad as his own. Heinz would not let this go until he at least gave the man something.

“I had a mini-golf themed birthday party when I turned five.”

“Really? That’s so unfair.”

“My mom was so drunk at the party that she accidentally caught the cake on fire and we had to spend the rest of the day at the police station.”

Now it Heinz’s turn to raise an eyebrow. The two glanced at each in silence for a quick second, before both of them starting laughing out loud.

“Wow.” Heinz cried out through his tears of laughter. “I don’t which was worse, yours or mine.”

Perry wiped away tears of his own. He stared at the man, wondering how both of them had ended up at this point. It’d been so long since he’d had a good laugh. He wished the moment could have lasted the whole summer.


	26. Chapter 26

Vanessa’s favorite song was playing on the radio, but she wasn’t paying attention. She mindlessly watched quiet, normal, summer Danville pass her by, completely unaware that her best friend, Lacie, was giving her random, concerned looks between stoplights.

“You worried, girl?”

Vanessa glanced up. “Sorry. I was just thinking.”

“You don’t really want to go to this, do you?” Lacie had the car stalled at another red light. She studied Vanessa. “And don’t think you can lie to me. I know when you're lying, Vanessa Doofenshmirtz.”

The teenager shook her head. “I’m just not sure this is a good idea anymore. What if we get in serious trouble?”

“Look, they’re evil, yes,” Lacie sighed. “but they aren’t murderers. Everything is going to be fine. Don’t you want to be a part of something bigger than you are? Don’t you want power, just like they do?”

Vanessa shrugged. She was honestly beginning to wonder about what she wanted these days. Sometimes, the attraction of being powerful and living “outside the law” was too tempting to pass up, but lately, the girl had begun to feel very uneasy about the people who claimed to follow this path. Even if her dad was evil too, did that really mean she had to repeat history?

“We’re here.”

The junkyard pulled into view. Lacie parked the car in a desolate area where no one would spot it, and the two girls tread a familiar path into the heart of the field. The rest of the gang was already present, and seated in a circle like a kid’s game of duck, duck, goose.

Orville waved when they walked up. “Hello, ladies. Nice to see you made it.” Vanessa shivered at the cold glare he sent her direction. The man in particular gave her the creeps. What she wouldn’t give to send him a solid punch in the stomach.

Todd pulled out a set of car keys. “So, are we doing this thing, or what?”

“What thing?” Vanessa asked.

Orville smirked. “I have some great news. There’s been a grouping of very powerful evil scientists in Danville recently. A couple of them have reached out to us students, and have asked for our help.”

Lacie raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“We don’t know what for, yet.” Charlie spoke, “But it’s like, totally legit. They’ve given us access cards and everything.”

Orville began passing them around. When Vanessa received hers, she held it up and inspected the background. Expansion Inc. There wasn’t much information on the card, but the name of the company alone was enough to make her uncertain.

“So, we’re just riding over and finding out what they want us to do?” She questioned out loud.

Orville placed his hands on his hips. “Well, since our latest failed attempt at attacking O.W.C.A., I figured some real back up would be warranted. Why? Got something to say, huh, you freak?”

“I’m not a..”

“Please.” He quipped. “Everyone knows about all the cuts up and down your arms. It’d be a shame to have the whole school know about your little secret by the beginning of fall.” Orville leaned closer to Vanessa’s face. She could smell the alcohol on his breath. “You better watch it, Doofenshmirtz, or I’ll be the one making the next cuts. In your chest.”

Lacie pushed Orville away, crossing her arms in anger. “Lay off her. She wants to come. She just said we need to be careful. No need to get testy.”

Vanessa didn’t say anything. She couldn’t. The hidden scars were beginning to burn underneath her clothes, as if threatening to pop out and reveal themselves. Orville gave her one last threatening glare, then turned his attention to Todd.

“If no one has any further interruptions, let’s go.”

The six teenagers piled into Todd’s van, and rode out of Danville. Vanessa was feeling even more anxious by the minute, and not even Lacie’s reassuring touches could calm her. For a minute, she considered using Perry’s emergency number and begging for help. But he’d made it clear it was only to be used for emergencies. This wasn’t an emergency. Sighing, the girl laid back into her seat and waited for them to arrive.

The building they parked in front of was nothing like she thought they’d encounter. It was grand, and very professional, but quite empty. When the teenagers entered using their access cards, they were met with nothing but a bare and vacant lobby.

They looked around for a minute, confused. Charlie pulled out her cell phone. “Are you sure you got the right address?”

Orville huffed. “The access cards worked you dimwitted..”

Suddenly, a set of double doors across the room burst open, and a short woman with a tight, blonde bun stepped into the room. She smirked at looked at each of them, up and down. “Hello children. My name is Professor Gevaarlijk, and welcome to Expansion Inc.”

The six of them blinked. Orville was the first to pull out of his shock. “Thank you for having us, Professor. I must say, this is an amazing facility.”

Lacie leaned over and whispered into Vanessa’s ear. “Kiss-ass.”

The short woman merely replied with a strict nod, and motioned for them to step forwards. She pulled a small device from her pocket and held it out for them all to see. “What we do here doesn’t seem very important, like this tiny little box. But I promise, what we will do with our hard work will change the course of history forever.”

The teenagers held their breaths.

“We have completed phase one of our project. We need you, very specifically, for phase 2.”

“With pleasure.” Orville gasped, almost unable to contain himself. “What would you have us do?”

“I think it’ll become clear in a minute.” The woman laughed.

Vanessa’s eyes suddenly grew wide, but she was too late to say anything. The woman crushed the little box in her hands, and immediately, a burst of toxic gas shot forwards and hit them all in the faces. Vanessa began to feel herself grow dizzy. Her knees grew weak, and she fell to the floor.

She glanced over. All six of them were in the same state. Her vision was growing blurry and faint. With a burst of determination, Vanessa tried to reach for her cell phone, which had fallen out of her pocket when she did.

_Perry, Perry, Perry._

But she was too late. Her hand dropped, motionless, and her vision went black.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Doofenshmirtz returned with more bags of random items. Perry sometimes wondered if all that really did go to all his inventions at one point or another. The platypus had removed his bandages, and was replacing them when the doctor walked into the room. “You’re looking much better.” The doctor sighed. “Except for your black eye. That’s going to take awhile to heal.”

Perry smirked. “It’s the first and last time you’re going to see a black eye on me.”

The two didn’t make much conversation for a few hours. Perry continued working on the puzzle book, feeling a sense of validation each time he managed to complete one. At about four-thirty, Perry’s cell phone began to ring. Startled, the agent picked it up and answered. “Hello?”

  
“Perry! Hey, it’s Rafe from Vintage Docks. Look, Julian was in a car accident just now. He’s fine, just in a lot of pain, so he called out from work tonight. Is there any way you can cover?”

Perry debated for a minute. On one hand, it would be nice to finally get out and do something. But on the other hand, he knew lifting trays and undergoing stress would probably not be good for his recovery. The agent flexed his arms, feeling out the extent of the soreness.

_Ah, what the hell._

“Sure. I’ll be there in an hour.”

“You’re a life saver. Thank you.”

Perry closed his cell phone and met Doofenshmirtz’s confused gaze. “I have to go.” He stated.

Heinz blinked. “Go? Where?”

“Work. They need an extra server.”

“Oh, that work. Are you sure you can? I mean, you look a lot better, but you still could be mistaken for a walking Frankenstein.”

Perry narrowed his eyes at the man, but only for a second, as he was already grabbing his shoes and his fedora. “Shut up. I have to go.”

“Wait, are you coming back?”

Perry turned around. That was an odd question. Was he? The platypus felt that he had quite overstayed his welcome, but the expression he met in Heinz’s eyes was something very different than what he would have expected. Did the man actually.. want him to come back?

“You’ve done more than a nemesis would imagine for me.” Perry replied cautiously. “I don’t want to take any more of your time..”

“No, no, it’s really okay.” Heinz blushed. “I mean.. you don’t have to, obviously. But you’re still not completely healed, and, um..”

“One more night.” Perry finally relented. “I’ll stay one more night.”

He tried not to act as if he noticed the illuminated look in the evil scientist’s eyes.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

  
After grabbing his apron and non-slip shoes from his apartment, Perry drove his car to the restaurant. Before he stepped inside, he slipped on Carl’s holographic disguise watch and turned it to one of the modified settings he’d added after receiving it. The disguise was of himself, but without all the scars that lined his face. He really didn’t want to answer questions about the state of his wounds.

The agent walked into the restaurant with a sense of excitement. Finally, a job to be completed. He immediately jumped into cutting lemons and restocking the bar.

There were a few servers working that he didn’t recognize, as they didn’t work the Friday night shift with him. He made sure to meet all of them, and tried to imprint their names in his mind. Tammy, one of the servers he knew very well, came over and said hi as she was putting bread in the oven.

As soon as Perry was on the floor, he was given a couple of tables. The agent easily fell into the rhythm of the dinner service. Despite the fact that it was physical work, and a little taxing, he enjoyed taking his mind off his life and focusing on the simplicity of taking and finishing orders.

Perry was exhausted by the time dinner service was winding down, and his face was starting to sting a little from the fumes of the kitchen. He was relieved when his side work was completed, and he was able to stand outside for a quick breather.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

When Perry knocked on the door of Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated, Heinz immediately opened it and stepped aside, letting him in. He still seemed a little shocked that the agent had returned. Perry had already released the holographic disguise, and was taking a couple pain reliever pills when Doofenshmirtz popped his head inside the room.

“Hey, Perry-the-Human, have you heard from Vanessa? She’s almost an hour past curfew. I know she’s all independent now, but it’s just not like her.”

Perry shook his head. “I haven’t. Did you try calling your ex-wife?”

“No.” The doctor sighed. “I would, but I know she’d be all like ‘Heinz, you’re such an irresponsible parent, you can’t ever do anything right’.”

“And Vanessa’s not answering her phone?”

“Well, that’s nothing new. She usually ignores me.”

Perry wanted to believe this was just a teenager’s act of rebellion, but he had an uneasy feeling. Did this have anything to do with the other evil scientist’s children that she’d been hanging around? Did they finally do something too far? But why hadn’t she called him?

Perry rubbed his head. There was no way to tell for sure. “Maybe you should call the police. I’ll see if I can find her through the security cameras around Danville. Maybe we can figure out where she went.”


	27. Chapter 27

Perry returned to the Flynn-Fletcher family with a heavy heart. He felt guilty- guilty for leaving the boys, for making everyone worry, and especially for missing more of his boy’s fun adventures. However, he couldn’t help but feel glad when he was received with never-ending hugs and kisses when he returned home.

However, Vanessa’s strange disappearance loomed over him. He kept all his locators on high alert, and spent stolen minutes scouring all the security cameras he could gain access to, but it seemed the girl was nowhere to be found.

Phineas held him all afternoon, as if afraid to let him go. Perry tried to enjoy his attention for a few hours. But even though the warm sunshine mixed with a slightly cool breeze made the atmosphere perfect, he couldn’t relax.

The boys were planning a giant game of dodgeball, and had a whole arena made, with tricked out levels that changed throughout the game, and a giant floating baby head as a referee, for some reason.

Phineas and Ferb were exhausted by the time they finished their game, and promptly plopped into bed right after dinner. Perry sleepily laid on Phineas’s bed and watched the boys start a game of Go Fish before lights out.

“Do you have any aces, Ferb?”The quiet boy shook his head.

“Oh, snap. Well, looks like you win again!”

The boys put away their cards and laid awake, staring at the glowing star stickers they’d placed all over their ceiling.

“You know, Ferb, I’m really glad Perry’s home.” Phineas smiled, putting Perry’s head. Perry purred contentedly. “Do you think we should do some more searching tonight? I mean, we’ve already looked everywhere..”

Ferb shrugged his shoulders. Phineas let out a long sigh and pulled up the covers. “I guess you’re right. We shall try tomorrow.”

Perry was already asleep by this point, completely exhausted and comfortable snuggled under Phineas’s arms. He didn’t wake once, not even to get up and switch beds, until his watch beeped around two in the morning. Sighing, the platypus jumped up and disappeared into his secret lair.

Major Monogram appeared on the screen, dressed in his pajamas. “Sorry to disturb you, Agent P. We hope you enjoyed your little vacation. Miss Lyla Lolliberry sent us some pictures!”

Perry smiled to himself. That girl was just too good at undercover work.

“We have bad news and good news. As you know, several of our agents have been working on the case of our attack at HQ from just over a week ago. The bad news is, we have discovered no leads, and are in jeopardy of having to close the case.”

Perry held his breath. That X character really had been as good as Pinky promised.

“The good news is we have an extremely easy assignment for you. One of our agents, Agent Liam the Lion, has gone missing. He was assigned to a Dr. Blood-Pudding, and left to defeat him earlier this evening. We still haven’t received his report. We want you to infiltrate, and see what you can find out. Good luck, Agent P.”

Perry saluted and jumped into is hover-car. Dr. Blood-Pudding’s condo wasn’t very far from this location. If Perry remembered correctly, the man liked to stay in the comfort of his own suburban household.

The agent landed in front of the man’s house and promptly jumped around to the back lawn. Climbing the fence was easy, but unsurprisingly, the back door was locked. However, Perry noticed that the house had a full chimney. Cringing, the platypus crawled up to the top, and forced himself to jump down.

Coughing, the agent peeked into the house through the bottom of the chimney. He could see the evil scientist, ranting and raging, with a caged Liam the Lion in the corner. Perry could see there were additional chains all around the agent’s arms and legs. What was going on?

Dr. Blood-Pudding was throwing things left and right, screaming. A giant machine stood in the center of the room, unactivated. But from the unintelligible mess coming from the doctor’s mouth, Perry could make out vague threats about the man activating it.

After deciding the man was too enraged to notice him, Perry crawled out of the chimney and swooped behind the couch.

“My son! My son! WHERE IS MY SON!”

_His son?_

Liam the Lion was growling and thrashing at the cage. The chains looked electronic; the evil scientist must be sending painful shocks to the agent through them. Perry surveyed the scene, looking for any means of escape. After a couple of minutes, his eyes finally landed on the release button. It was sitting on a separate remote, just above the cage.

Perry waited until the evil scientist was facing away from him, before grabbing his blaster, and shooting the doctor in the back. Blood-Pudding cried out in pain and anger, clutching his hips and screaming. Perry took that moment to jump onto the cage, grab the remote, and free Liam. The lion saluted to him, gratefully. Perry motioned for him to run.

But Liam refused, and stood on two feet, roaring. At this point, Dr. Blood-Pudding had recovered, and grabbed a blaster of his own, ready to attack. But the man was no match against two fully trained agents. Perry and Liam took him down quickly, and dismantled his giant machine.

“Good work, Agents P. and L.” Major Monogram praised. “We will come pick up Dr. Blood-Pudding and transfer to our prison. Thanks to your bravery, a crisis was averted. You may return home.”

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

As soon as Perry reached his lair in the Flynn-Fletcher household, he parked his hover-car and hopped onto the computer. Dr. Blood-Pudding’s screams were still ringing in his ears. Evil scientists didn’t usually torture their nemesis’, unless they were absolutely desperate. But desperate for what?

Perry pulled up some public O.W.C.A. files on the man. He had a wife still, and two kids, one about Phineas and Ferb’s age, and one about Vanessa’s age. The oldest was named Todd Blood-Pudding. There was a police report filed by Dr. Blood-Pudding that had been created just a couple hours ago for the missing child. Apparently, law enforcement was already looking into it.

_Hm, why hadn’t Major Monogram mentioned it? Maybe they didn’t know?_

Perry thought that seemed unlikely, but decided to gloss over that detail for now. He pulled out the scans he’d taken from that night he’d noticed Vanessa at the Students of Evil conference, and flipped through the list. There he was. Todd Blood-Pudding. So Vanessa went missing, and now Todd? Something was definitely going on.

Perry was reluctant to get O.W.C.A. involved, but he knew he had no choice anymore. Although he didn’t want to assume the worst, if these children were all missing, then something dire was going on, and it could not be ignored. Perry clicked a couple buttons on his computer, requesting Monogram’s presence and waited for him to reply.

“Agent P! I hadn’t expected your report until morning. Is everything alright?”

The man was still in his pajamas, and had only just begun getting ready for bed. Perry shook his head, and typed up his concern for Vanessa’s disappearance, along with the evidence he’d gathered that the children were seen together at the Students of Evil conference.

“Hmm.” The major pondered. “Really, it’s not uncommon for teenagers to run away for a couple of nights, especially teenagers with evil scientists for parents. But I can see why this may be a concern. I will have Carl and some of the agents at IT filter through security cameras around Danville to see if we can pinpoint a last known location. We will let you know if something comes up. Thank you for bringing this to our attention.”

Perry saluted once more, and let the screen go dark. It wasn’t until he returned to Phineas and Ferb’s bed that he noticed how exhausted he was. But despite his body’s desperate plea for sleep, he could not shut off his mind, and stayed awake, thinking, until morning.

 

 


	28. Chapter 28

“Hey Ferb, I know what we’re going to do today! Let’s make the biggest, baddest, most awesome arcade ever!”

The backyard was almost completely covered in blueprints and construction tools as Perry laid out on the lawn, watching the boys work. Candace had just disappeared into the house after a particularly loud and threatening rant, but her brothers didn’t seem to mind, simply continuing with what they were doing.

While the boys were distracted, Perry slipped away to answer a call from headquarters. Truthfully, he’d been very restless and unable to relax, too worried about Vanessa to do much else. He pleaded with whatever god was listening that O.W.C.A. had found something.

Perry landed in his lair and opened the message from Monogram.

“Good morning, Agent P.” The man coughed. “You’re the first I’ve contacted. We managed to find a last known location of both Vanessa Doofenshmirtz and Todd Blood-Pudding, and follow them to the outskirts of Danville. It seemed to be a dead end, but one of our agents was able to maximize an image from the security cameras and make out this card.”

An image appeared on the screen. It was blurry, but Perry could just barely make out the words “Expansion Inc.” Confused, the agent looked back up at the major.

“Trust me, we didn’t know what it meant either. Turns out it used to be an old laboratory that the government defunded years ago. The building was put up for sale, and was scheduled to be demolished, but was bought out by another company just last year. We don’t know much about this said company, but there have been quite a few big evil scientist names tied to it.

I’m sure you’re aware that Todd Blood-Pudding is one of the known attackers from our case last week, as were most of the faces we could make out through the security cameras. As you can imagine, the fact that they gathered somewhere and have not returned is worrying. We are planning to infiltrate. I’ve assigned four other agents to this case. Meet them at headquarters.”

Perry’s heart was thumping out of his chest. Hopefully, they weren’t too late.

The platypus didn’t know the other agents very well, other than the fact that he’d seen them around headquarters. They all saluted him when he arrived. Carl was waiting for them, with an array of new gadgets in front of him.

“Welcome, everyone.” He squeaked. “I’ve updated our standard blasters. They now have a double feature which allows you to use them as a stun gun. One shot, and it will render your target unable to move.”

The agents grabbed them.

“Because the building you will be infiltrating is made of brick, I’ve also added a feature which will make it easier to crack through. You just push this button, which releases a specifically designed hammer made at the end. It will weaken the brick, so you can break through. Any questions?”

Neither of the agents made a noise.

“Alright then. The location has already been plugged into your hover-cars. Good luck!”

Perry felt the weight of the new blaster in his hand. The hammer in the back made it a bit heavier to carry, but it wasn’t too hard of an adjustment. He pocketed the device and ran out with the other agents into one of the company hover-cars.

To Perry’s shock, the agents landed right outside the same office building he’d encountered when he’d tried to attack his evil self and been beaten. He gulped. This could either go really well or really badly. Should he warn them?

However, the agent didn’t have much time to ponder the situation. His team was already skimming up the building, following the same simple infiltration procedure that he’d used to first time he’d visited this place.

The window that Perry had crashed through the first time had been repaired. One by one, the agents used their updated blasters to crash through a window and pop into the top floor. Perry pulled out his x-ray pen to take a look around the building. He couldn’t see any figures moving around. Puzzled, the agent followed his team through the air vents.

Once they reached a couple floors down, the group split, hoping to cover more ground. Perry elected to continue downwards, hoping to find the room he’d spied on the first time. When he finally found it, it was completely empty. Perry jumped down and began surveying the room. There was simply no one. Was this another of Dr. Gevaarlijk’s tricks?

Agent P. held his blaster in the offensive position, hoping to find some sign of movement. However, after five minutes, when nothing jumped out at him, he moved on to another room.

The agents looked for what felt like hours, before Perry received an alert from Agent Timmy the Turtle. It flashed as a code black. Dreading what he’d found, Perry darted as fast as he could to his teammate’s location.

What he saw made his body go cold.

Vanessa Doofenshmirtz was on the ground, white as a sheet, unmoving. She was dressed in her usual clothes, but they were ripped and wrinkled, as if they’d been forced back on her body. An agent was checking for a pulse and performing CPR. Perry stood paralyzed.

_Please, please, please, just be okay. Hang on, Vanessa._

When O.W.C.A.’s emergency medical truck arrived, the agents had found all of the other children, including Todd Blood-Pudding, who were all in a similar state. One by one, the medical team transported them into the ambulance and began attaching them to an assortment of cords and devices. Perry jumped into the truck with Vanessa, watching the doctors work. He touched her forehead. It was ice cold.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

After about an hour of worrying, Carl stepped into the waiting room and put a hand on Perry’s shoulder.

“Hey, Agent P. The doctors are doing everything they can. They were able to restart her heart, thankfully.”

Perry opened his beak. He wanted to scream.

  
“They still have to do some tests.” He continued. “All we know is that she is going to pull through. So that’s good news, right?”

The agent nodded. Right now, he could barely focus on Carl’s attempt to console him. His mind was still racing with guilt, confusion, and most apparent of all, anger, though at himself or Dr. Gevaarlijk, he wasn’t sure.

Carl handed him a cell phone. “Is there anyway you can call Dr. Doofenshmirtz? We need his consent for the tests to be done. And I think it’d be easier to hear coming from you.”

Perry wasn’t exactly sure what the intern meant by that. Surely he would be the last person Doofenshmirtz would want to hear this information from, but he shrugged his shoulders and picked up the phone. Heinz was going to be a hectic mess. He just hoped the man could understand what needed to be done now that she was found.

As soon as the text was sent, the cell phone was ringing. Perry picked it up, and cringed when Heinz’s loud, worried voice carried through the other line.

“I just got your text! You found her? Where is she? Is she okay? I need to see her?..” The man rambled on and on. Perry sighed and sent him another text, giving him O.W.C.A.’s medical ward location. The man wasted no time in grabbing his keys and heading out the door.

When the man arrived, he was checked by security before finally being let in. By this point, Major Monogram had arrived at the scene, and did his best to control the man and explain why he couldn’t see his daughter at this exact moment.

“I don’t understand!” Doofenshmirtz cried, exasperated. “Why can’t I see her?”

“She’s still unstable.” Carl filled in. “We aren’t quite sure what caused this amount of trauma. She’s currently in a coma.”

Doofenshmirtz put his head in his hands and started sobbing. Francis and Carl, clearly very uncomfortable, offered him a box of tissues. The man plopped down in the waiting room, sobbing into the tissues and murmuring to himself.

Despite his continuously cold, professional expression, Perry’s heart hurt for the mental state of the man. He looked so lost and panicked. He didn’t even notice Monogram and Carl exit the building, leaving the two of them alone. Perry knew there were security cameras watching their every move, but he felt a strange urge to comfort the man somehow.

“Oh, Perry the Platypus.” The man sobbed. “I never thought this would happen to my baby girl. Maybe Charlene’s right. Maybe I am a horrible parent. And now my baby girl is hurt and they don’t know what wrong and she’s going to die..”

The platypus wished he could have been able to use his words in this moment, but there was nothing he could do. Instead, he set his hand on the doctor’s shoulders, trying to at least communicate that he was there for him.

The doctor sobbed for what seemed like hours, while Perry sat there next to him, wishing he could hug the man, but refusing to. Finally, the doors swung open, and a young nurse stepped forward.

“Dr. Doofenshmirtz? You may see your daughter, Sir. But I must ask you to empty all your pockets and put all items into this box for safe keeping.”

Heinz wasted no time in grabbing his wallet and watch and dumping them into the bucket. Perry followed him to her room, wanting to see her as well. The doctors let them both step into the room, warning that she was unresponsive and still unpredictable.

When Heinz saw his daughter, he started sobbing once more, and reached out to run his hand gently down her cheeks, repeating various sentences in German. Perry’s heart dropped. She looked so lifeless, so cold.

He made a vow to himself in that moment, that he would find her attacker, and make them all pay. Even if that attacker ended up being his evil self.

 

 


	29. Chapter 29

It was now nightfall. Perry had stayed with Heinz in the waiting room for the entirety of the day, listening to him ramble on about good memories he’d had with his daughter during her childhood, how he’d tried to make a better childhood for her than his own had been, and how much he’d hoped for her future. Perry couldn’t quite say he knew on a personal level what Doofenshmirtz meant, not having any children of his own. But he knew he would have been just as devastated if he’d lost Phineas or Ferb.

A nurse walked into the room at about six in the evening, a clipboard in hand.  
“Vanessa is stable and in good hands. We have finished running tests, but won’t have any conclusions until tomorrow morning. Unfortunately, due to O.W.C.A. rules and regulations, I can’t allow you to stay in the ward overnight. You will, however, be alerted to any changes in her condition, and will be allowed to visit tomorrow, starting at six o’clock.”

“What?” Doofenshmirtz cried. “You’re kicking me out?! You can’t do that!”

The nurse sighed. “Because of your status, which has currently been labeled ‘threat,’ we cannot allow you to stay. I’m sorry.”

Doofenshmirtz burst into a series of protests, but Perry promptly pulled on his lab coat and dragged him out of the waiting room. As soon as they were outside of the building, the doors automatically locked.

Perry knew because of the agents currently placed inside the ward, there was no way Doofenshmirtz could stay. He sighed, wishing there was something he could do for the man.

  
Heinz burst into round of sobs as the platypus dragged him off the premise and into his hover-car. At least he could take the man home for a few hours, before returning to his host family.

“Where are we going, Perry the Platypus? I can’t leave, I just can’t!”

But Perry had already started the car and was hovering in the air. Finally admitting to his defeat, Heinz sat back in the car, knees pressed up to his face, and closed his eyes. The agent landed on top of his roof.

“Oh, I’m home.”

Perry nodded. He watched Doofenshmirtz get out of the car before starting the engine up once more.

“Wait, are you leaving?”

Perry chattered reluctantly.

“Look, I know I can be testy and overdramatic at times, but I just can’t stay by myself right now. And I can’t stay here. Vanessa’s stuff is here and.. Can I stay with you, pleeease? I promise I won’t be a bother..”

Bad, bad, bad idea. But Perry knew as soon as the doctor had mentioned the request that his answer was already yes. It was too hard to leave his nemesis here by himself in such a state. Sighing, Perry motioned for the man to get back in the car.

The sun was beginning to set as Perry made his way to his apartment. Doofenshmirtz didn’t say anything during the whole ride, which was a first for him. As soon as they were a couple blocks away, Perry parked the car in an empty parkinglot and pressed a button on the dashboard. Instantly, the car transformed into his dark blue Mustang. Heinz watched the machine change in awe.

Perry then removed the little chip from his watch and turned into his human self. He took a deep breath with his human lungs, feeling his vocal chords begin to move. He grabbed a pair of sunglasses from the console and smiled at the doctor.

“That’s still so crazy.” Heinz finally spoke. “How.. how do you do that?”

“I’ll explain it one day.” Perry sighed, pulling out of the parkinglot and into the road. “Look, I have to go check in on my family, and then file a report with Major Monogram. And then I’ll be home. But you can stay for a bit.”

“You’re sure you don’t mind?”

“You didn’t tell Francis about my human identity. I owe you one, at the very least.”

Perry pulled into the apartment complex and parked in front of his building. The two exited the car and walked up the three flights of stairs.

“It’s not much.” Perry sighed, unlocking the door. “I’m not here very often.”

At least I left it clean. Well mostly.

Perry cringed at the camera that was still shattered into pieces across the floor. Maybe he should finally get rid of that.

But Doofenshmirtz didn’t seem to notice. He settled down at the table and put his head in his hands, clearly exhausted. Perry set his keys by the counter and pulled a couple beers from the fridge.

Heinz stared at agent when he set it in front of him. “I’d make tea,” Perry sighed, “but it looks like you need something stronger.”

Doofenshmirtz nodded gratefully, before taking a long swig of the beer. Perry showed the man were everything was, before walking out the door, promising to be back soon. Heinz waved goodbye, laying on the couch in front of the TV.

This was a bad idea.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Phineas and Ferb had just finished playing with their arcade and were cleaning up dinner when Perry returned. The two boys stayed up, playing a game of go fish, until they fell asleep a couple hours later. Perry jumped down to his lair as soon as he was sure it was safe.

Major Monogram appeared on the screen when Perry checked into his lair. It was a little odd, considering the man usually wasn’t present for his reports.

“I wanted to talk to you, Agent P. This case that we’ve just discovered seems a little off. That, paired with the attack on O.W.C.A. that happened just recently- it’s giving me a bad feeling. Are you sure there aren’t any other details, that you have collected, related to this incident? Anything at all? Please, no matter how insignificant, let us know.”

Perry immediately shook his head. Despite all that had happened, he still wasn’t ready to tell his secret. And even if he did, he knew none of the details would take O.W.C.A. any closer to a solution for this problem that they already were.

Major Monogram nodded. “I know you are always thorough, Agent P. I just had to be sure. I want you to watch your back. Something else is going on here, and I think it involves O.W.C.A. more than we’re aware. Thank you for your time. You can leave your report as always.”

The major disappeared from the screen, and Perry was left to finish his paperwork. The silence of the lair around him was unbearable, and he tapped his pencil against the table to fill it. He’d just lied to his boss. His boss. The agent knew if anyone found out, he’d be as good as fired.

Still, it was strange for Major Monogram to question his report. Perry briefly wondered what had prompted the man to do so.

Sighing, once the paperwork was sent through, the agent hopped onto his hover-car and flew home.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

When Perry returned to his apartment, he found Doofenshmirtz asleep on the couch in the living room. The agent couldn’t help but smile. Heinz looked so peaceful, so unlike when he was ranting or monologuing, with his wrinkled brow and downtrodden demeanor. His hair was so soft, his body so delicate. It made Perry want to reach out and run his fingers down his thin frame.

But the agent shuddered and forced those thoughts away. What was wrong with him?

Instead, Perry sneaked into the bathroom, had a quick shower, and settled into bed. The comfort of his mattress felt so good against his exhausted body. He turned out the lights and let him mind drift. He was asleep within minutes.

 

 


	30. Chapter 30

Perry jumped awake with a startled yelp. His heart was beating out of his chest, and sweat was dripping down his forehead and back. He’d had another nightmare, and this one had been a particularly bad one.

After calming himself down, the agent tried to shut his eyes and drift back to sleep. But after half an hour with no results, Perry got up, pulled on a shirt, and crept into the kitchen to make himself some tea.

He was surprised to see the lamp on and Doofenshmirtz sitting wide awake on the couch. The evil scientist glanced up at Perry. His eyes were bloodshot. It didn’t look like the man had been getting much good sleep either.

“Sorry if I woke you.” Perry sighed.

Heinz shook his head. “I’ve been up.”

“Do you want some tea?”

“That’d be nice.”

Perry grabbed the kettle and began brewing some of his favorite green tea. Once done, he poured two glasses and brought them over to the couch, setting them down on the coffee table. The agent sat next to his nemesis, as Doofenshmirtz took a long sip.

“Thanks.”

Perry waited for the long rambling that his nemesis was about to spill. However, the silence continued without pause, expect for the occasional clinking of glass against their fingertips. After a few minutes, Perry realized that Heinz wasn’t going to say anything at all. Clearly, the man was trapped inside his own circle of thoughts.

“Anything you want to talk about?” Perry finally questioned softly.

Heinz didn’t speak for another few minutes, before letting out a long breath. “What if she dies, Perry the Human? What if..”

Without thinking, the agent grabbed his nemesis’s hand. He instantly regretted doing it, but knew it was too awkward to pull away now. Heinz’s palm was so rough from all the tinkering and inventing he did, but it was strangely comforting to the platypus. Like a firm, reliable touch.

“She’s not going to die.” He replied sternly. “I promise.”

“You.. promise?”

“Do you trust me?”

Perry was now so close he could smell the green tea on the doctor’s breath. They locked eyes for a solid minute, as Doofenshmirtz pondered Perry’s haunting words.

_Do you trust me._

Were they really at a stage in their.. whatever this was.. that he could demand an answer for such a statement? But as he watched his nemesis’s eyes, and knew something was shifting in that ingenious brain of his. It was almost like watching their very relationship unhinge and restitch itself back together into something completely knew.

“Yes. I trust you.” Heinz finally murmured.

Perry had the strangest urge to lean in and kiss the man, but he pushed that thought to the very corner of his mind, and punished it by locking it away. Instead, he held onto Heinz’s hands tighter and whispered, “I’m going to do everything I can to make sure Vanessa is safe. Everything. Those people won’t get away with this.”

Heinz smiled. It was the first smile Perry had seen it in a quite a few hours. They continued with their tea in silence, feeling a heavy weight lift off of both of them.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

At about five in the morning, both Perry and Heinz received an urgent call from headquarters. Apparently, Vanessa had woken up, and had asked for both of them.

Perry rushed Heinz over to the medical ward in his hover-car, and both figures sprinted into Vanessa’s room. She was still white as a sheet, but there was a small smile on her face. Heinz immediately wrapped his arms around the girl and cried tears of joy.

“Dad, Dad, it’s okay, I’m okay..” She laughed, hugging him back. She caught Perry’s eye, and mouthed a little thank you. The platypus tipped his hat in return.

“Oh, Vanessa, I was so worried. Are you hurting? How do you feel?”

“I’m a little sore, and my head is killing me, but the doctors are giving me all they can.”

“What happened, Sweetheart?” Heinz sighed. “Who did this to you?”

The teenager squirmed, but Perry knew she had known this was coming. O.W.C.A. had probably already received a full report from her on the situation.

Vanessa launched into her spiel, describing the other kids at the scene, how they’d gotten in, and a vague description of the woman that had talked to them before they were gassed and passed out. Perry felt his heart clench at her description of the events. Those bastards were going to pay for what they did.

Heinz was hugging his daughter again, promising her the very same thing that Perry was thinking. He watched the heartfelt exchange with a sad smile. An undesirable emotion was tugging at his heart, and it took the agent dramatic effort to refocus his mind.

Vanessa’s test results had returned, thankfully with nothing out of the ordinary. Pretty soon, she was cleared by the doctors, and allowed to return home.

Perry knew that the other kids that had been found, including Todd Blood-Pudding and Orville were also waking from their comas, and would be returning home very soon, since their tests also came back completely clear. Perry still felt uneasy about the situation, however. It wasn’t like Dr. Gevaalijk to just kidnap someone and leave them for the agents to find. Unless that had been her plan all along.

O.W.C.A. would definitely be looking for the professor, but Perry knew he had to act faster. But how was he going to get one step ahead, when he couldn’t beat his own self?

His thoughts were interrupted by Vanessa, who had grabbed him in a hug and thanked him for coming to save her. He squirmed, very uncomfortable, but accepted her gratitude with a smile.

Perry agreed to take the two home, seeing as Heinz had left his truck at his apartment. After getting a nod of approval from the major, the agent guided them to his hover-car, and took off into the sky.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Doofenshmirtz couldn’t stop watching Vanessa as she walked into the apartment and sat down at the kitchen table. She still looked a bit fragile, but he was just relieved to see her alive and walking. She seemed to notice his unusual looks, and smiled at him.

“Honestly, Dad, you’d think I actually died or something.”

“Don’t say that!” He cried in panic. “Please don’t say that!”

“Did you tell Mom what happened?”

Heinz hung his head. “No, I didn’t. If the doctors had said your condition was critical, I would have, but.. She just doesn’t understand O.W.C.A. or any of that, and well.. I should have though, I know.”

Vanessa nodded, clearly unsure what to do with the information, but deciding to take it at face value, which the doctor was grateful for. He made her a sandwich and a cup of tea, before letting her go on up to bed. The girl was clearly exhausted.

Heinz decided he was going to try and sleep as well, as he hadn’t been fully rested in a very long time. However, once the doctor laid down, he couldn’t help but feel his thoughts wander, specifically on a certain someone that had teal hair and weird piercings.

Perry Michael. When Heinz had known him as just Michael, he’d had a strange liking to the man that he couldn’t quite explain. His calm, quiet demeanor and strong, bold personality had been something of an attraction to him.

When he found out that Michael was actually a human version of his nemesis, he’d been hurt and very, very confused. When he had looked at the man then, all he saw were the battles and scars that had been shared between the two over the years.

But now that the shock had finally passed, Heinz was seeing both Michael and Perry the Platypus as the same person, just with all the features combined, and that old attraction had started to creep up again.

When Perry had grabbed his hand the other night, it’d sent warmth all throughout his entire body, and yet made him shiver at the same time. Perry’s hands were soft and inviting to the touch. The doctor couldn’t help but wonder what the rest of his skin felt like.

The evil scientist cursed himself. There was no way his nemesis felt the same way. And maybe, it was bad that he even felt this way to begin with. He had to let these distracting feelings go.

Heinz looked out to where Vanessa’s closed door stood. No, he had another mission now. He had to keep his daughter safe. To hell with anything else.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Vanessa was glad to lay her head on her own pillow. But strangely, the atmosphere of her own bedroom wasn’t quite as comforting as she thought it’d be. She shivered. Her anxiety was ten times worse tonight. She debated sneaking into her dad’s room and asking to sleep on a mattress by the foot of the bed.

She was a grown woman, for heaven’s sake. She could handle this.

All of a sudden, there was a slight tapping on her bedroom window.

Vanessa jumped, startled, and slowly pulled the curtain back to look outside. Her face relaxed when she saw it was just Perry. He was hanging off the wall, secured by his grappling hook, and very much human. The teenager opened the window and let him inside.

“I know this looks creepy.” Perry whispered. “I’m not stalking you, I promise.”

“It’s okay.” The girl breathed. Secretly, she was grateful to see him. Perry always had a way of making her feel safe.

“I know you’ve been through a lot of trauma.” The man began awkwardly. “I’m not here to ask you to rehash it.”

Vanessa raised an eyebrow. “Oookay. Then, what?”

Perry took in a deep breath and steeled himself. “Did you steal my keycard and attack O.W.C.A. headquarters?”  
Shit. He knows.

Vanessa opened her mouth to speak, but knew no lie would bypass the agent’s inquiries. After a moment of hesitation, the girl sighed and hung her head. “I stole your keycard. But I didn’t attack O.W.C.A. I told them I wasn’t able to do something like that.”

“Until you learned how to fight, correct?”

Again, she cringed. _Did the agent ever miss anything?_

“I’m sorry.” She frowned. “I know it was wrong. I shouldn’t have done it. Are you going to report me?”

The man pondered her question for a second, probably trying to weigh his judgement on her honesty. “No.” He finally admitted. “Vanessa, I’m on your side. Let me help you out of this mess.”

The girl shook her head. “You can’t.”

“I swear, I’ll have them all punished. They won’t bother you ever again, once I’m done with them.”

“Perry, I can’t.” She snapped, almost sobbing. “They’ll..”

Her breath hitched and she stopped. They’ll kill me.

But Perry backed down. “I don’t want to pressure you.” He whispered. “I just want you to be safe.”

“I know.” The teenager sighed. “I know.”

“Everything will be okay. I promise. For you and for your dad.”

Forcing the tears back, Vanessa cleared her throat. “By the way, my dad told me about you and your restaurant job. Do you promise you weren’t just spying on my dad?”

Perry’s eyes were haunting. Apparently, it was a loaded question, but one that had been bugging her for awhile.

“I promise.”


	31. Chapter 31

Summer. It was such a beautiful time of year. Phineas could never understand why everyone complained about it so much. Yes, the heat was unbearable sometimes, but honestly, he quite enjoyed the challenge of trying to find the best ways to beat it.

Phineas and his stepbrother Ferb were speeding across town in a flying car, ready for the next big adventure of their vacation. Except this time, it was riddled with underlying tension.

Despite Phineas’s continuously random comments, Ferb was silent, as always. But the boy knew his stepbrother well, and could see the telltale signs of nervousness that threatened to give Ferb’s thoughts away.

The two brothers were finally close to the answers they were looking for. For so long, they had puzzled over strange dreams and memories, and now they had finally found the one person that could answer those questions.

Or so they hoped.

The two boys flew straight across Danville, until they finally reached a purple building with the words Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc. written across the front.

“Jeez, this doesn’t look ominous at all, does it, Ferb?”

Feeling a bit uneasy, but still looking at the positive side of the situation, the boys landed their flying car at the side of the road, and glanced up at the massive building in front of them. They picked the top floor at the elevator, and watched the floors go by.

Before long, they were standing in front of what was supposedly the man’s door. Phineas glanced at Ferb, who stared back at him with an encouraging demeanor. Sighing, the red-haired lifted his fist and knocked on the door.

There was silence for a minute. Phineas almost thought about trying again, when a man with dark brown hair pulled the door open and glared down at them.

So it was him. The man from their nightmares. Well, almost him. He wasn’t wearing an eye patch or black of any kind, other than the black t-shirt he wore. He actually was wearing a lab coat, which Phineas found interesting. Who was he?

“Hello, little kids, can I help you?”

“Yes, um..” Phineas sighed. This story was going to sound crazy. “I’m Phineas, and this is my brother Ferb. And we were actually wondering if we could ask you a couple questions.”

“Questions about what? And how long is this going to take? I have a schedule to keep.” The man snapped, clearly annoyed.

“Please, Sir, it’ll only take a minute.”

“Well, okay.” The man sighed. “You might as well come in, then.”

Phineas was in awe of the man’s apartment. The place was littered, head to toe, with boxes of spare parts and electronics. It was a boy engineer’s dream come true. Ferb also seemed impressed, glancing every which way at the enormity of it all.

“So, what is it you want?” The man pressed impatiently.

“Well, I know this is going to sound crazy,” Phineas started hesitantly, “but we were wondering if you could clear something up. See, my stepbrother and I have been having the same weird dream, and they’ve all had you in it.”

“Me?”

“Yeah. We thought maybe it was just a movie we’d both watched or something but well..” Phineas pulled out a couple pictures from the machine they’d used to record their dreams. It was a little blurry, but Phineas could definitely see the resemblance.

  
But the man seemed unconvinced. “This isn’t me. This guy has an eye patch.”

“True. But he does look very similar. Are you sure we haven’t met you before?”

The man in the lab coat started chuckling to himself, and put a hand on Phineas’s shoulder. “Look kid, I like to tinker, and have made a lot of weird stuff over the years. You may have been hit with one of my inators, and the side effects gave you some weird dreams. But trust me, I have never met either of you before in my life. I don’t even know who this fella is, because I have never worn an eyepatch. Does that answer your questions?”

Phineas stared at the photo, unconvinced. There was no way that these were just weird dreams. “But my stepbrother and I have been getting the exact same ones. It’s just a bit strange, is all..”

“Trust me, kid, there’s a lot of strange things that go on in here. But I tell you what. If you are still having the dreams, you can come back any time and help me build one of my inators. Maybe we can figure it out eventually.”

Phineas’s eyes widened. “Really?”

“Yeah, really. Except don’t come between one and two in the afternoon, because that’s when my nemesis usually shows up.”

“Your.. nemesis?”

“Yeah.” The man crossed his arms. “Those exist. Now, I’m sorry to rush you out, but I’ve got a few places to be. So.. maybe another time, yeah?”

Phineas sighed, but nodded his head. They still had no answers, but maybe this was the beginning of a new lead. He motioned for his stepbrother, and the two exited the building. It was just a start, but Phineas was determined to figure out the strange emotions he had attached with these dreams.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Dr. Zachary Tecton looked out over the massive ballroom displayed in front of him. The tile was made of marble, with a beautifully crafted staircase, and huge, royal purple curtains. Dr. Scepter owned quite the gorgeous mansion. How had he never known buildings like these existed on the other side of Danville Mountain?

Dr. Gevaarlijk and her team had escaped their last building, packed up all their research, and moved here as a safe house. It had seemed like a risky move to Zachary, especially leaving the children there for O.W.C.A. to find, but Dr. Gevaarlijk was good at what she did. She had a plan.

Speaking of the devil, Dr. Tecton grinned as the short woman approached him above the ballroom, hands behind her back. “Don’t worry too much.” She smiled devilishly at his questioning look. “The world you have always wanted will be yours very soon.”

“We know the human children took the drug well.” He snapped. “What we don’t know is if it worked. When are you planning to activate their minds?”

“As soon as we filter the drug through Danville’s water supply. Once the whole city in infected, we’ll begin Phase 2 of Operation Kur. And that is where I need your help once more.”

“Oh?”

“O.W.C.A. will be looking for us. I need someone to supply a distraction while we make preparations for the annihilation of Danville.”

The woman was unwarily rubbing her watch as she spoke, almost to the point of caressing it. Dr. Tecton caught her movement with a curious glance, but didn’t say anything.

“Hmm..” He purred. “I can do distractions.”

“Good.” The woman smiled, patting his back. “And make it showy, yes?”

Gladly.

Ah, terrorizing the city was definitely what he did best. Dr. Tecton caught a gleam of Dr. Gevaarlijk’s watch as she walked away, her tiny legs swaying to and fro as she moved. The watch must be connected with how she planned on activating her drug once the city was infected. Zachary grinned to himself, unable to keep a small, demonic laugh from escaping.

He couldn’t wait to take over her evil plan.

_Like they say.. everything burns.._

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

_Where is it, where is it?_

Perry was searching his apartment like crazy, throwing everything out of the closets and into the middle of the floor. He knew it had to be somewhere.. If only he could remember where he had stored it..

After his days as an evil scientist, Perry had pretty much burned everything to do with his past. All his evil plans, his research, his blueprints.. everything had been cast into the flames to disappear with the rest of everything that remained attached to the name Zachary Tecton.

All except for one thing. A key.

Perry had spent most of his childhood years living with his father, who had also been an evil scientist. The man was wealthy beyond control, and had built an evil lair a few miles out from Seattle’s city borders. Even though it was just an empty, forgotten and abandoned building now, and the house in which Perry had been tortured and abused as a kid, he, for some reason, Perry had kept the key after his father passed away.

How stupid to not know where it is now.

Once Perry had finally reached the end of one closet, he felt around the edge of the carpet. He could’ve sworn it was buried under there somewhere..

Had Dr. Tecton gotten to it first?

Anxiety rose in the man as he searched. He couldn’t understand why his evil self would need access to the lair. There was nothing in it to use, and was useless as a safe house, since Perry also knew it existed.

Suddenly, a piece of carpet easily lifted off the ground, and Perry’s hands reached around the cold metal object. He breathed a sigh of relief, and clutched it to his chest.

Just then, the whole apartment shook. Perry heard immense crashing, and ran to the window to see what was making all the racket.

No. No, it couldn’t be..

His evil self was flying high over the city using some kind of powered rocket boots. He held an enormous weapon in his hand, and was randomly shooting it onto the city, causing flames and explosions to erupt on unsuspecting citizens.

Enraged, Perry transformed into a platypus, put on his jetpack and fedora, and flew out the door.

 


	32. Chapter 32

Perry was airborne, chasing his evil self, who was darting about the city, laughing and taunting the citizens below. Despite the fact that he would have loved a tirade like this, back when evil was the only thing that mattered, it was so unlike his usual thought process to just waltz on this city like this, completely in the open. So why was Dr. Tecton doing it now?

Well, the evil scientist wasn’t completely in the open. The man was wearing a simple black mask that blended into his black hair.

Perry let out a loud growl as he grew closer to the man, and shot him in the chest with a blaster.

Dr. Tecton was knocked back a few feet, and cried out in pain. But he quickly recovered and began laughing. “Why am I not surprised? Back for more?”

Perry was already flying at full force, and slapped his evil self in the face with his tail. Zachary tried to duck, but still got hit in the forehead. He let out an enraged noise and punched Perry in the face.

The two began struggling with each other, darting back and forth in the air.

Perry finally managed to wriggle free, and went for the man’s rocket boots. Dr. Tecton burst forward, shooting up into the air, missing Perry’s grasp.

He then turned around and flew downwards at full speed, grabbing the platypus by the neck. Perry choked, and used all his strength to punch Dr. Tecton in the stomach. The evil scientist let go, clutching his gut in pain.

Perry shot his blaster again. The evil scientist spiraled downwards, and hit the ground with a dangerous crash.

Perry hovered in the air, watching the lump on the ground. He should have known it wasn’t that easy.

All of a sudden, the evil scientist produced his weapon and began shooting at Perry. The agent kicked his jet pack into high gear and tried to dodge them. He felt pain in his legs as a couple of the blasts snagged him.

Perry darted away, using a building to shield him from the attack. He waited for a few seconds, then circled back around, blaster on the offensive.

Dr. Tecton was too fast, sneaking up behind him and kicking him in the back.

Perry spiraled in the air, and let out a frustrated groan. No matter what he did, his evil self was always ready with a counter-attack. It was almost like the man could read his mind. Perry knew, despite his stubbornness, that this battle was futile. They were too evenly matched.  
But he couldn’t give up.

“Hello, Perry.” The man sneered, flying back to his level, weapon pointed right at his head. “God, I absolutely abhor that name. Why _ever_ did you pick it?”

Perry growled, and unleashed his own blaster. They hovered in the air, pointing their weapons at each other, staring in each other’s eyes.

It was a strange moment, seeing a mirror image of his younger, evil self, snarling at him. It filled Perry was an extreme force of self-hate that threatened to completely take over.

_Don’t lose control. You’re better than this._

Zachary Tecton began laughing, loud and malicious. His eyes penetrated Perry’s with a violent understanding, as if the evil scientist was aware of every thought that was flying through the agent’s head. Angered, Perry flew in for another attack, but was met with just as hard a hit. It sent the both of them spraying backwards.

Perry’s jetpack hit the worst of the attack though, and the agent crashed to the ground as his jetpack stuttered, eventually shutting off.

Just as he looked up to see the evil scientist ready to finish him off, Zachary was attacked from behind, and cursed in the air. Perry smiled in relief. O.W.C.A. agents came flooding in, each with their own jetpacks and armed blasters. Dr. Tecton swirled around to look at them all, clearly overwhelmed.

Finally, the cavalry.

The evil scientist swirled around, picking off the agents one by one, as hard as he could. But despite his best efforts, he kept getting hit again and again by blasters. The pain must have been too unbearable, because the scientist finally let out a loud curse, and set off a smoke bomb.

The agents landed on top of buildings, blasters drawn, ready for the attack, but when the smoke cleared, the attacker was gone.

He’d used a piece of technology that Perry had invented years ago to teleport to another location. Perry sighed; the doctor must have been very busy building that thing from memory. He almost wanted to say he was impressed.

The agents began fanning out from the scene. Perry heard his watch beep, and immediately answered.

“Agent P! Thank goodness you’re alright! We saw how you jumped into battle like that. You were very brave. Do you have any idea who the perpetrator was?”

The platypus shook his head. He wondered why his evil self had chosen to wear a mask into battle. When he had enforced evil schemes, he’d never been shy about who he was and what he was doing.

“Well, we are running some data. Hopefully a lead will come up. Good work, agent.”

Major Monogram disappeared from the screen. Perry grabbed his jetpack and begrudgingly dragged it through Danville, until he found a secret entrance into O.W.C.A.’s headquarters, where he could send it down for repairs. Once sent, the platypus hopped on all fours and ran as fast as he could back to his car.

He just had a brilliant idea.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Vanessa was in her room, caressing the little razor blade she kept hidden underneath the floorboards in her bed. It wasn’t that she was depressed, angry, or even upset. She just felt.. numb. And that wasn’t normal, was it? Shouldn’t a girl who just got abducted feel.. something? Shouldn’t she be angry for her friends who were hurt, angry at her attacker, and scared for her life?

But Vanessa put the razor blade down. She’d promised herself that she would stop this. Still, what was wrong with holding it?

Vanessa was exhausted. Her body still wasn’t completely healed from her coma, and the headaches were terrible. But she wouldn’t tell her father the extent of it. He was already worried enough as it was, always checking on her, offering her food and water, sitting next to her and just staring at her.

Lacie was texting her nonstop since the accident, wanting to know how she was and if she was well enough to meet up with the group again later that week. Orville had also sent her some sort of encrypted message, warning that if she said anything too much, she’d be dead. Vanessa sighed. She hated that jerk. How did she even get in this mess?

The loneliness was too much sometimes. She just wanted to talk to someone. About everything.

She thought the group had been that for her. Now she was seriously reconsidering.

Despite everything, if there was one thing Vanessa did feel, it was determination. She was going to learn how to fight, how to win, and how to keep herself, and others, safe. Hopefully Perry would still consider teaching her.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

  
It was midnight. Perry had slipped away to Danville harbor, and was currently on a small boat just off the coast. It was the only place he could think of that was actually private. Plus, the soothing motion of the waves was very calming for his nerves.

He held his cell phone in his hands, unsure if he was excited or dreading what he was about to do. He’d tried so hard to bury his past, including everyone that had been a part of it. Was this really such a good idea?

_Vanessa. Do it for Vanessa._

Sighing, Perry opened up the phone and dialed.

The line rang once, twice, three times.. For a moment, Perry wondered if anyone was even going to answer, but suddenly, a familiar voice popped through the silence.

“Hey, Doc. It’s been awhile since you’ve given me a call.”

Perry sighed. “Peter. I know. It’s urgent.”

Peter the Panda. Despite the random occurrences in which Perry had run into him this summer, they had shared a much longer, deeper past. It was strange to hear the voice of his ex-nemesis, so clear and concise.

Years ago, back when Perry was still Dr. Tecton, Peter had been chosen to be his nemesis. The two had been addicted to battling each other from day one, and shared a very hostile, almost unhealthy obsession with each other. Until of course, when one day, Peter had begged Perry to turn him human, and Perry had obliged. Peter kept his human identity just as secret as Perry did. It was a strange sort of bond that they shared.

“Urgent business, I see.” Peter clicked his tongue. “What’s wrong?”

Perry started from the very beginning, and explained the predicament both he, Heinz, and Vanessa were in now. Peter listened, just as Perry knew he would, and simply pondered the information in silence when Perry finally finished.

Finally, the panda sighed. “Why do you always end up in some kind of trouble, Michael?”

“Shut up.” Perry snorted. “This wasn’t my fault.”

“What have you told Heinz?”

That’s an odd question. “Why does it matter?”

“You asked the man to trust you, but you haven’t been completely truthful with him. I know he’s your nemesis now, and evil, all things considered, but doesn’t he deserve to know the real you?” Peter replied.

Perry held his tongue. There was no way he could tell Heinz about his past. What if the man rejected him? What if the revelation of the truth marked the end of their strange, undefinable relationship completely?

Peter chuckled when the silence continued. “I think you should at least tell him about us and save me the awkwardness for when he eventually finds out. I will help you, Doc. I don’t want Vanessa hurt either. But we are going to need weapons. And I need to be updated on how you fight. If Dr. Tecton really does exist, and is half as skilled as you are, I’m going to need a refresher.”

Perry breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you, Peter. Don’t worry. Meet me tomorrow. I’ll send you the coordinates.”

“And Heinz?”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Alright, Doc. That’s all I can ask for, I guess.”

Perry laid back and listened to Danville harbor. But despite the waves, which usually sent him into a peacefully mediation, the sound of water hitting against rock only made his mind race faster and his anxiety accelerate. 


	33. Chapter 33

Major Monogram had assigned Perry a mission involving Doofenshmirtz, even though Perry was sure Doofenshmirtz wouldn’t be up to anything much this week because of the recent events with Vanessa. And sure enough, when he popped down, Heinz and Vanessa were sitting at the kitchen table, drinking tea and talking.

Perry didn’t disturb them. He didn’t even announce his arrival, just watched them for a few minutes before sneaking away.

Vanessa was looking better than ever before. The girl finally had some color in her cheeks. And Heinz was looking better than he had in days, probably because he’d finally been getting enough sleep.

Once he sent a report to the major about Heinz’s rather normal day, he set his hover-car’s GPS west and settled back to watch the clouds pass him by.

Seattle was only a few hours trip by flying car. Perry entered a very dreary, rainy atmosphere when he arrived in the city. It still boggled him that he used to live in this place every single day and deal with it’s naturally dismal mood. Maybe it really had contributed to his overarching depression throughout his childhood.

Perry continued through the city, eyes set for the mountains, unable to look at the sites below him. There were too many memories here that threatened to send his emotions over the top. So he pushed them as far back as he could, and focused on his purpose for coming.

His father’s evil lair was hidden deep in the mountains, only accessed by the key he’d held onto for so many years. Perry could still remember the same path he used to find it, skimming along the mountain’s side until he located the dip inside that marked the entrance.

Once Perry parked the car on a ledge, he jumped out and felt around the wall until his hands landed on the disguised key pad. He entered in the code, then inserted the key. Once turned, a huge metal door began to open from deep within the mountain’s cave, letting him in. Perry walked inside, and let the door stay open for when Peter would eventually arrive. He clapped his hands, triggering the lights to turn on.

Perry released the microchip from his watch, turning himself into a human, and watched as the lair grew smaller and smaller. He couldn't help but chuckle to himself. The height difference was always so funny to him.

Perry stood there, paralyzed. This place gave him chills. The memories circled around him, attacking him all at once.

“Wow, it’s been quite awhile, hasn’t it?”

Perry spun around, weapon drawn, only to find Peter standing there, in his human form, smirking. The man’s hair was shaved on both sides of his head, colored midnight black, with a mane of hair he left long swooped across the top of his head, colored with small strands of white. The man could literally swipe his hands across his head and achieve a perfect, wind-blown look. His skin was dusted tan, accented by the camo-colored clothes he wore. He had two full sleeve tattoos down his arms, and dog-tags around his neck. Perry still had no idea what they all meant.

Perry let out a sigh of relief and retracted his weapon. He motioned for the man to step forward, and closed the door.

Peter looked around at the empty room, hands in his pockets. “We had so many battles here, didn’t we? All of which I won, if I remember correctly.”

“Not true.” Perry scoffed. “There were technically two battles that I won.”

“What? You aren’t seriously counting the time I was rushed to the hospital for an allergic reaction that I didn’t even know existed?”

Perry laughed. “I still won.”

“Unbelievable.” Peter muttered under his breath, rolling his eyes. But it wasn’t malicious; they were both smiling.

Yes, there were many, many memories in this building. Perry could still remember where he’d placed all kinds of traps for the panda bear years ago. Hopefully they were all deactivated. And he could also remember the very place where Peter had left a panda-shaped hole in his front wall.

“So, you said you had something here?”

Perry shrugged. “It’s a safe place to meet. I burned almost all of my plans, but there were a few blueprints that I still kept around. Some of the weapons I created I was too proud of to destroy. Maybe we could build them, but update them to be stronger.”

“It’s a start.” Peter sighed. “I’m sorry, I’m still not understanding about this evil twin you keep talking about. Who is he, and how does he exist, again?”

“Help me grab spare parts out of my hover-car, and I’ll tell you.”

As the two men unloaded Perry’s vehicle, the agent explained the whole story again, trying to remember every detail. Peter listened carefully, asking a question here and there, before finally making the connection.

“So this person doesn’t really exist? He’s just an exaggerated version of your worst fear. Which is your evil self.”

“Basically.” Perry cringed. “It’s lame, I know, but I..”

“You’re not a monster, Doc.” Peter sighed. “I know you’ve made some bad mistakes, but you’ve already more than made up for them, in my opinion. I believe you can defeat these demons you keep holding onto.”

Perry let out a long breath as he set down the last box and began unrolling the dusty, slightly ripped blueprints. “I’ve been a better person, I know. But.. that doesn’t mean that the evil in me just.. disappeared. It’s still there. I can feel it. What if I lose control again, like I did that day..”

He trailed off as the memories flooded him. The headlines had been devastating. He remembered waking up from a particularly bad rage, to find that he’d gone way too far, and had unleashed armies of horrors onto the people of Seattle. The whole city had been torn apart, ruined, and destroyed. There were people running, crying, hurting, dying..

Peter snapped his fingers, pulling Perry from his horrific trance. “Hey.” He spoke softly. “I know, it was a rough day. But you can’t focus on those moments. Let’s.. just focus on this, yeah? We have a world to save, remember?”

“Right.” Perry sighed, pushing the memories away. “So my evil self recreated my own version of rocket boots. They’re pretty high tech, but he is terrible at turning corners. I was thinking maybe we make boots with higher levels of control.”

“Sounds good. Whoa.. what’s this?”

Peter had pulled one of the blueprints from the bottom of the pile, and held it out to the light. “Is this a prototype for a real life light saber?”

Perry inwardly cringed. Unfortunately, he’d always been something of a Star Wars fan, and had spent years trying to come up with a way to create an actual light saber. The prototype was very close to working, but there were still a couple bugs to figure out.

“It’s unfinished.” Perry sighed. “I forgot all about it.”

“Cool! Well, I guess we better get started.”

The two agents dumped out the boxes of spare parts and began assembling pieces together. Peter had always been something of an amateur inventor. Perry had to correct him on a couple of simple instructions. But, it was still better than no help at all. The two worked in silence for awhile, enjoying the sounds of metal against metal.

“So. Heinz.” Peter smirked, breaking the silence. “What’s up with you two?”

“Nothing, ever since you so rudely barged into our nemesis-ship and tried to ruin my career.” Perry snapped.

Peter blushed. “I said I was sorry. I didn’t mean it. I had no idea he’d actually want to fight me again! I just wanted to see what you’d found in Doofenshmirtz that you liked so much. Professor Mystery is such a bore. Seriously, I’m almost convinced the man just does evil because he has nothing better to do, and covers that fact with a false sense of trauma.”

“Hm, am I hearing that you miss me?” Perry raised an eyebrow teasingly.

Peter growled, but it wasn’t threateningly. “No, you aren’t. I, for one, certainly do not miss being glued to your back wall while you ramble on and on about your miserable life.”

“Wow. I’m going to pretend like I’m not at all offended.”

The two ex-nemesis laughed. Perry remembered when he’d first joined the agency, and had been on very strict terms with the panda. They used to squabble and argue all day long, until they wanted to pull each other’s hair out. They’d come a long way since those years.

As the laughter stretched into silence once more, Perry thought back on the moment when Peter had confronted him and asked for a human body. He remembered pouring over old blueprints, ideas, and prototypes, before finally creating a machine that could actually achieve such a scientific feat. Peter had been so ecstatic.  
“How’s your wife and kids?” Perry asked suddenly.

Peter smiled. “Oh, they’re wonderful. You know, Emily has been asking where her Uncle Perry is recently. She’s performing in a play for summer school later this month. Would you.. be interested in coming? It’d make her so happy.”

The platypus hesitated. Despite the fact that he actually adored Peter’s kids, he always felt so anxious around them. They were so small and innocent. He was afraid of losing control and hurting them without meaning to.

But he could tell by the look on Peter’s face that there was no way he was getting around the situation. So he sighed, and nodded his head. “It would be my honor. But just know, that I promised her a jetpack next time I saw her.”

Peter stuttered. “Whoa, whoa, whoa, you are _not_ giving my ten year-old a jetpack.”

But before the panda could threaten any further, Perry gave the rocket boots a yank, and felt them begin to warm up. He urged Peter to try them on. Hesitantly, the agent tied to shoes on and stood, feeling the engines begin to kick him, lifting him up into the air. He flew around the space, smiling and yelling. Perry gasped. They actually worked!

 


	34. Chapter 34

It was now evening. The two agents were sweating and exhausted, but they had managed to create more powerful versions of Perry’s rocket boots, blaster, and grappling hook. Despite the heat, the agents were very proud of what they had accomplished.

“Your doppelgänger doesn’t stand a chance against these bad boys.” Peter cried, admiring their finished creations.

Perry nodded. “I hope so.”

“Cheer up.” Peter punched him lightly in the arm. “I think we make a better team than you realize. We’ll get the son of a bitch.”

Perry cringed, but tried to remain hopeful. He was too scared for his boys, and for Lyla and Vanessa, than to think otherwise.

When they exited the lair, they were shocked to find the a sunset melting into the distance. Peter grabbed his cell phone and made a quick text. “I’ve got to get home. The wife is expecting me for dinner.”Perry nodded understandingly. “Hey, why don’t you come over and spend the night?” Peter suddenly brightened. “We still have some work to do, and I’d hate for you to have to drive all the way back to Danville..”

“Oh, I couldn’t possibly do that to Linda and your kids..”

“Nonsense.” Peter shrugged, clapping his ex-nemesis on the back. “They all miss you. I’m sure they’ll be thrilled. Stay the night? Please?”

Perry swallowed, but accepted nonetheless. If there was one thing he knew, it was that Peter would never let an idea go once it was lodged in his brain. They parked Perry’s car into the lair and made sure the door was locked, before jumping into Peter’s Tesla and driving down the mountain.

It was raining, of course. The city lights of Seattle reflected on the puddles covering the ground. Perry listened to the rain, remembering days where he’d do his homework, play around with spare parts, or strum his guitar while listening to the light mist.

Peter pulled into a typical suburban neighborhood, and parked the car in front of a well-trimmed, beautifully decorated, quaint little house. It was made with red brick, complimented with painted white windows and a dark roof. He could smell something delicious wafting out of the kitchen.

Emily, Amanda, and Tyler, Peter’s kids, tripped down the front lawn, not caring at all about the rain, and jumped on their father, giving him a big bear hug. All of Peter’s kids had his black hair with white streaks, but had their mother’s beautiful blue eyes.

“Easy, easy.” Peter laughed, hugging each of his children. “Hey, guess who I brought with me?”

Perry waved, and immediately, all three children ran over and jumped on him. Perry grunted, not expecting the amount of weight they pressed on him. They’d gotten much bigger in the last couple of years.

“Uncle Perry, Uncle Perry! Guess what! Guess what!”

“Hold on, munchkins,” Peter laughed, “let’s smother him after we get out of the rain.”The three kids, smiling and yelling excitedly, ran inside to announce the news of his arrival. Perry gave Peter a warm smile as they ducked out of the rain and stepped inside.

Linda had a couple of warm towels already waiting for them as they entered the house. They dried off and set their bags against the door. Linda approached Perry and gave him a big hug.

“Oh, what a wonderful surprise. It’s so good to see you.”

“You too.” Perry chuckled, awkwardly hugging her back.

  
“I’m sorry for all the mess. Kids, you know.”“No bother. Your house is always lovely.”

Before Perry had even finished drying off his shoes, the kids were back to crowding him with questions. He picked each of them up, spinning them around a couple times, enjoying their immense laughter.

“Uncle Perry, guess what? I got a pet fish!”

“Did you now?”

“Yes, yes, yes! Mom, can I show Uncle Perry my goldfish?”

“After dinner, dear. I’m sure Uncle Perry wants to sit down for a minute.”

Perry leaned down to Emily’s height, giving her a big hug. “Dinner, and then I definitely want to see your goldfish.”

“Okay!”

Linda had the table set and ready. She’d cooked a turkey, mixed vegetables and mashed potatoes, which she set at the table. They smelled absolutely heavenly, and Perry’s stomach began to rumble. It’d been a long, long time since he’d had a good, home-cooked meal.

Once the kids had settled down, the family began passing down the food. Perry was surprised to see Emily taking a spoonful of carrots- just the carrots, of course- and happily stuffing her mouth. Amanda would not hear of anything crunchy. Little Tyler, who was happily strapped to a booster seat, put anything in his mouth that his mother would let him reach.

“So, Perry, how are things with you?” Linda asked sweetly.

“Oh, things are good.” He shrugged. “Work is busy, as always.”

Peter chuckled. “Our company doesn’t ever seem to sleep, does it?”

Linda was only ever told that Perry was a long-time coworker of Peter’s. Perry knew it had been a lot to keep such a secret from his wife, so the platypus was grateful. He remembered being called from Danville to come see little Amanda, who had just been born, and how proud the parents looked. They were such a cute and happy couple. Perry felt his throat tighten. No, he was not getting emotional.

“How is your job, Linda?”

Besides being a full-time mother, Linda was a part-time author, and wrote various blog pieces for major publishing companies.

“Stressful, honestly.” She sighed. “But I’ve been pushing myself to write an actual novel, and it’s going very well.”

After dinner, Perry obediently followed Emily up to her room to look at the goldfish. He laughed at how they had named it Bob, and how she came up with ridiculous voices for his different moods. The family then pulled out a couple board games, and Perry, Peter, Emily, and Linda all dove into a game of Sorry. Emily was a smart little cookie, beating all of them not once, but twice.

At nine o’clock, little Tyler was already asleep in his mother’s arms, and Linda sent the the kids to bed. They whined, but she was firm, and one by one, they reluctantly hugged Perry goodnight.

Linda showed Perry where he would be staying, as well as the guest bathroom. Perry thanked her for everything, before telling her goodnight.

Peter and Perry stayed up a bit later, talking quietly about work and their current lives. By eleven, Perry was exhausted, and let out a long yawn.

“When do you want to head out?”

Peter shrugged. “Usually Professor Mystery is up to something around three in the afternoon. So we have some time.”

With a smile, Perry bade his ex-nemesis goodnight and headed upstairs. It was funny sleeping in the strange house, listening to the quiet rustling of the children trying to fall asleep. It made his heart ache. With a sigh, the platypus curled up on the bed and covered himself with blankets, hoping to block out the emotions.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Peter and Perry were back at the the evil lair bright and early in the morning. Their hand-made weapons were still there, gleaming and sparkling. Peter still looked amazed that they had created such amazing machines.

“How did you want to do this?” Perry asked hesitantly.

Peter shrugged. “I just need to know how you’ve grown as a combat fighter. You’ve been through O.W.C.A. training since the last time we fought, after all.”

Perry grinned, holding out his fists. “So, does that mean I get to punch you in the face?”

“Only if you can catch me.” Peter laughed, rolling his eyes.

The two agents burst into combat against one another. It was slightly strange, and very exhilarating. Perry couldn’t remember the last time he’d fought with Peter this way, but knew he had definitely gotten much better at his skills since the last time. The panda was actually having trouble keeping up.

Perry could tell his ex-nemesis was very carefully studying his movement patterns. After a few minutes, Perry heard the man mutter, “Interesting.”

“What’s interesting?”

Peter looked up, startled. “Oh, I just noticed you have been using your legs more during defensive moves. Good.”

Perry chuckled. “Wow, now I really feel like I’m back at O.W.C.A. training.”

After a couple of hours, the two agents took a break, absolutely exhausted. Peter tossed the platypus a water bottle, which he took gratefully. The cool water tasted delicious against his dry mouth.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Perry asked after a couple of minutes of silence.

Peter’s brow wrinkled. “It’s not like I haven’t faced Dr. Tecton before, you know.”

“I know. He’s just.. A nightmare.” Perry shivered. “He’s dangerous. And..”

“Stop.” Peter sighed. “This isn’t just for you. It’s for my family, my wife and kids, your boys, and our communities. I swore to be a protector, and that’s what I intend to do. Besides, after having someone like Professor Mystery for a nemesis, you begin to crave some real adventure.”

“Is Professor Mystery really that bad?”

“I don’t know, Perry. I show up to thwart his schemes, he spews out some nonsense about how dangerous the machine he’s built is, but doesn’t actually tell me what it does. Then he just sort’ve stands there until I break free. It’s very off-putting, and very boring.”

  
Perry sighed. “I’m sorry. Is he a rookie?”

“I guess. I don’t know why they assigned me to someone like him. I’m almost at the point of asking to be reassigned.”

“I’m sorry, Peter. I hope it goes well.”

Peter waved goodbye as Perry took off in his hover-car, headed towards Danville. Peter was going to hold onto their invented weapons for safe keeping, until Perry had located his evil self once more and was ready for an attack.

For the first time, as Seattle disappeared into the background, Perry had a good memory to hold onto while he left the place.

 


	35. Chapter 35

Perry walked into the restaurant in a very sour mood. He was exhausted, and serving people was not his idea of a good night at the moment. He’d considered quitting the job more than on one occasion, but knew the company was short-staffed, and hated to dip out on them so suddenly.

The shift ran very smoothly, despite Perry’s best efforts to keep his sarcasm under control. He was usually so good at forcing a smile, but the customers that day were really pushing his limits.

Why were people so picky about their food, anyway?

To Perry’s surprise, Doofenshmirtz arrived at 6:30, dressed in his usual lab coat, with Vanessa trailing him. They sat down at Heinz’s usual table. Vanessa immediately picked up the menu and began looking through the items.

Perry approached the table, feeling a little awkward for some reason.

“Well, this is a surprise.” He laughed. “You’re looking much better, Vanessa.”

She giggled and winked at him. “Oh, you know me; I’m a strong woman.”

Heinz was smiling too, but for reasons Perry could only guess. After a second of silence, Perry coughed. “Will it be the usual for you today?”

The doctor hesitated for a moment before shrugged. “You know what, I’m thinking of trying something new today. The crab cakes sound delicious. But I will take my usual decaf.”

“I’ll have a coke and the avocado shrimp salad.”

Perry took their order and immediately began preparing their beverages. It was funny, seeing Doofenshmirtz and Vanessa together like this. He wondered how it had been like when Vanessa was just a little girl, maybe with Charlene in the picture too.

Perry felt a little jealous. He was already missing the feeling of being surrounded by Peter and his wife and kids. That stupid, homey feeling that he had never had growing up. He knew he was extremely lucky to have the people in his life that he did have, but still; to have a real family, who knew him for who he was and accepted him that way. That was something he was still searching for.

And had basically given up trying to find.

Perry set the drinks in front of the Doofenshmirtzs and promised their meals would be up shortly. By the time the food was delivered, it was already seven, and customers were beginning to thin out.

“Compliments to the chef.” Vanessa smiled when Perry stopped by to ask how they were doing. “Are you going to eat all those crab cakes, Dad?” She grinned. “Hey, hands off my food!”

“Perry, do you get to eat here for free?” Vanessa asked, awe-struck.

“Sometimes. Employees always get half off, though.”

“Hm, maybe I should come work here.”

Perry shook his head endearingly, and left to refill their glasses.

By the time closing came around, Heinz and Vanessa were long gone, and Perry was extremely exhausted. His wished his coworkers and managed a good night, and trudged outside to take a breather before driving home.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

The next morning, he had a surprise call from the restaurant. Confused, Perry snuck away from Phineas and Ferb’s bed to answer it.

It was hard to tell what his manager was saying. Obviously the man hadn’t gotten any sleep the night before. But Perry basically gathered that customers had been calling in sick all night and the restaurant was being closed down for a couple days for a thorough inspection by the health department.

Odd. Perry knew for a fact that management was particular about the cleanliness of the restaurant and its employees. There was no way the hygiene could be that bad to warrant half their customers sick. Nonetheless, Perry told his manager to keep him updated and let him know if he could help somehow.

Phineas and Ferb were not in the backyard when Perry waltzed outside to check on them. That was definitely strange, but he knew that the kids liked to take their adventures around Danville sometimes. Maybe they traveled out, looking for some fun.

Just to be safe, Perry pulled out his watch and ran a tracker on their location. He breathed a sigh of relief. They were at the skate rink. Good.

His paranoia resolved, the agent jumped down a chute into his lair and activated his computer. There wasn’t an assignment active for him yet, for which Perry was grateful. He wanted to see if he could get any leads on Dr. Gevaarlijk’s location.

He spent the good portion of an hour looking through security feeds looking for any sign of her, or the other agents. Unfortunately, despite his best efforts, nothing was popping up. The platypus was sitting there, frustrated, when a message appeared on the screen.

“Good morning, Agent P. I see you’re trying to do some research. Trust me, our team has been working on Dr. Gevaarlijk’s case for a good few days. The woman is a sneaky bitch, and is being very difficult to find.”

“Language, Sir.”

“Oh, you’re so sensitive, Carl.” The major scoffed. “Well, I’m sorry to disturb your research, but we have another mission for you. Dr. Doofenshmirtz was just seen buying a bulk supply of aluminum in the Tri-State-Area. See what he’s up to, and put a stop to it.”

Perry saluted, and headed out of the lair. He launched out of the house in his now repaired jetpack, and flew out to Doofenshmirtz’s apartment.

He burst through one of the windows, ready to pounce and attack the man, when he stopped in his tracks, completely floored. Phineas and Ferb were standing there, talking to his nemesis, with a bucket full of tools surrounding them. Blueprints scattered the area. Were they actually.. building something together? What was Heinz doing with his boys?

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Heinz woke up early that morning, feeling very inspired. He had a brilliant evil scheme, one that was really going to work this time, he just knew it.

Vanessa had asked if she could go to the mall with Charlene, who had promised a mother-daughter summer day. Heinz nodded. Despite the fact that it was Charlene, he felt better knowing his baby girl would be with an adult.

He had already grabbed all his tools and blueprints, and had them laid out on the floor, when his doorbell rang.

Now who could that be?

When he slammed the door open, he was met with two young kids that looked awfully familiar. Then he remembered; these had been the kids that had visited him a few days ago, asking him some weird questions. He had been mostly kidding about them coming back. They really wanted to spend the day with him?

“Hello, again.” The boy with the triangle head smiled. “We just wondered what you were doing today, and if we could come over and help?”

Doofenshmirtz hesitated for a moment, pondering if they was a good idea or not. He really didn’t want to play babysitter all day.

The green-haired boy lifted a complete tool box that he was carrying. The red-haired boy let out a huge grin. “We brought our entire toolbox!”

Maybe they could be of some help. Besides, the sooner he got his inator done, the sooner he could come up with ways to trap his nemesis. He really wanted this plan to work this time.

“Ah, what the heck. Come on in. You can put your stuff with mine.”

Before too long, the boys were deep into his blueprints, and already asking questions about how he was planning on assembling the machine. Doofenshmirtz began to explain why he’d chosen a particular wiring, and the three went right to work.

“So what does it do?” The triangle-headed boy asked.

“Oh, well, I was going to wait for my nemesis to stop by before I revealed it, but I guess I can let you guys in on the secret, since you are helping me, and all. Well, I’m going to call it the Control-The-Weather-Inator. Basically, I can control the weather with a press of a button, by sending different amounts of water pressure into the clouds.”

“Cool!” The red-haired cried. “That sounds awesome. Imagine the possibilities if you could control the weather.”

“I know, right?” The evil scientist laughed. “Soon, the Tri-State-Area will be mine!”

The three continued on their work, putting together the metal parts and spooning together wires. Just as the Inator was finally taking shape, there was a dramatic thud at the front door. Doofenshmirtz glanced up to see Perry the.. Human? He had unlocked and burst through his front door, and did not look happy.

Doofenshmirtz gulped. What was going on?


	36. Chapter 36

Enraged at the sight of Phineas and Ferb with his nemesis, Perry ducked out of the building, hid in a corner, changed into his human self, and pulled open the front door with one dramatic swoop. He hadn’t even bothered to pick the lock; he’d forced it open with a powerful punch.

The three characters in the room turned around to stare at him. Perry was sure he looked furious, but did his best to school his expression. Heinz Doofenshmirtz was the first to recover, waving at his nemesis. “Perry!” Heinz cried. “Come on in, I guess. Meet, uh.. What were you guy’s names again? I’m sorry, I have a terrible memory at times..”

“No worries!” Phineas supplied immediately. “I’m Phineas, and this is my brother Ferb. We just wanted to help Dr. Doofenshmirtz with his new big adventure!”

How did they even find the man? What do they know?

Heinz, sensing Perry’s tense expression, cringed and put down his tools. “Right. Well, this is my nemesis.”

Phineas raised an eyebrow. “Your nemesis? Does he come and help him with inventions, too?”

Heinz and Perry met eyes for a quick second. Perry shook his head slightly, subtly warning the man to be careful what he said, because there would be hell to pay if it was the wrong thing. Heinz gulped, clearly getting the message. “Yeah, he comes over and helps. Uh, Perry, why don’t you come in, and I’ll show you what we’re working on..”

“It’s so awesome!” Phineas cried. “We’re building a machine that can control the weather! Imagine, perfect, sunny days for the rest of summer!”

Perry gulped. Had the man brainwashed these children?

_Calm, Perry. They’re just kids. They have no idea what’s going on. How could they? All that mattered, was that Perry get them to safety._

He wanted to march the boys right out of the building and call their mother, but the hopeful looks on the boy’s faces was enough to keep his anger from overspilling. Despite the fact that Heinz was technically still evil, he was really harmless.

“I really wish I could let you boys stay.” Perry finally sighed. “But building and testing machines like this can be really dangerous. I will have a word,” At this, the man glanced up and glared at Heinz, “with my.. nemesis here about the situation. I’m sorry.”

“But, we really can help.” Phineas cried. “We..”

“I know.” Perry sighed, kneeling down to the boy’s level and putting a gentle hand on their shoulders. Looking into their eyes, he knew he would do anything he could to protect them. His boys. “You guys are Phineas Flynn and Ferb Fletcher right? Those kids that have been making all kinds of cool, amazing things this summer?”

“Yeah! You know about those?”

Perry chuckled. “Of course. I saw the lemonade stands, and the giant aquarium, and the circus, and the rollercoaster. I know you are both amazing. I’m not doubting your abilities. I just know that your mother would be really worried if something were to happen to you both, that’s all. We want you safe. So promise me you’ll go straight home, okay?”

Phineas and Ferb had their heads hung. “Wait!” Phineas cried running over and digging something out of his toolbox. “Do you know who this might be? Or how my stepbrother and I have been seeing him in our dreams?”

Perry took the picture and held it up to the light. It was very blurry, but he could make out the picture of Doofenshmirtz. Wait, Doofenshmirtz in an eye patch. Perry’s heart began to race. This was very bad. Were they remembering the second dimension? Was the affects of the machine slowly wearing off?

Now was the time to lie. He gave the picture back and let out a long sigh. “Look, about a month ago, we met once before.”

The boy’s eyes widened. “We did?”

“Yes. It’s why I know you. You helped my.. nemesis and I build this awesome machine. But then something went horribly wrong, and you both got seriously hurt. So we had to rush you to the hospital. When you woke up, you didn’t remember anyone or what had happened. And we decided just to keep it that way, so you didn’t feel traumatized.”

“Oh.” Phineas took in the news with a puzzled expression. Perry could see his brain was trying desperately to understand the information and absorb it, and hoped that the lie would pass without too much doubt. “I guess I understand why we can’t stay then.” Phineas finally admitted.

“Wait,” Heinz butt in. “I don’t remember this happening at all. What scheme was this?”

Perry looked up and glared at Heinz. “I suppose you don’t remember getting hurt either, do you? You, also, didn’t remember a single thing. Which is good, because you absolutely looked ridiculous in that eye patch.”

The boys couldn’t help but let out a small giggle. Perry smiled, and stood back up. His heart began to calm just a tad bit. The boys promised that they would return to their backyard and work on their own projects. The platypus breathed a sigh of relief as they waved goodbye and walked out of the building. Perry watched out the window as they jumped into the sky on their flying car, and disappeared into the summer sun.

“Wait.” Heinz continued, still completely puzzled. “Seriously, when did this happen? I mean, I’ve been hurt lots of times, but never enough to completely forget..”  
Perry let out a low growl. The noise obviously scared the man, because he stopped rambling and looked at Perry with a slightly scared expression. But the agent was far passed empathy. He could feel his anger rising. He wanted answers now.

“WHAT were you thinking inviting two kids over to help you build that thing? Did you kidnap them? Did you brainwash them? WHAT DID YOU DO?”

Perry didn’t realize that he had gained on the man, and was now right in face. Heinz had backed into a corner, his hands over his face, waiting for a punch in the eye. The sight was immediately sobering. Perry was briefly reminded of his father’s own anger, and how he’d often been the one forced into the corner. He remembered Doofenshmirtz’s backstories. He felt ashamed, and backed down. “I’m sorry.” He sighed, trying to gain control again. “I’m sure it was a misunderstanding, I just..”

Heinz recovered from his initial shock and let out a frustrated noise. “For your information, I don’t know how they found me. They just showed up one day with this weird picture of me and wanted to ask questions. I couldn’t answer them, but told them they could visit another time. I didn’t think they’d actually, you know, come back. Do you know them?”

Perry didn’t answer. He was rubbing his forehead, which had suddenly started to ache.

“Are they.. are they your neighbors or something?”

“Something like that.” Perry sighed.

“So who is the man with the eye patch? And why does he look so much like me? Because despite what you say, I have never worn an eye patch..”

“It was nothing. Just their overactive imagination.” Perry snapped, still testy. “There was no explosion. No one was in the hospital. I just wanted to convince them to stop coming over here.”

Doofenshmirtz crossed his arms impatiently. “Look, I know I’m evil and all, but I would never harm a child. Vanessa has always been safe with me!” He argued. “And anyway, I don’t appreciate you just baring in like you did. It’s very rude.”

“I would appreciate if you would just stop being so damn irresponsible. Vanessa was never helping you build these crazy things. I’m surprised she hasn’t been more seriously hurt from the amount of explosions that happen around here!”

“Hey, most of those explosions are your fault!” The doctor was now yelling.

“I don’t care!” Perry snapped. He was so angry now, he could throw something. His face was probably extremely red, too. “I swear, you touch them, contact them, even so much as look at them again, you’re dead.”

Heinz had backed himself against the wall now, watching the man warily. Perry realized he was now full on screaming, and slammed his fist against the wall, trying to release all the energy he had built up. Heinz jumped from the thud.  
And then, the unthinkable happened. Perry started sobbing.

He had tried to keep it all in, but somehow, the tears just started pouring out, and he couldn’t stop them. He was so worried, so worried about the boys, about Vanessa, about Lyla, about Danville, and he hated how he was so helpless, useless, worthless.. Not _hero_ enough, not _strong_ enough, not _powerful_ enough..

He crumbled to the ground, his face turned away from his nemesis, and sobbed into his hands.

After a couple minutes, he felt a hand on his shoulder. He jumped, habitually expecting it to be a violent attack, but the hand didn’t hurt him. Instead, it started rubbing his back, trying to comfort him.

Perry curled his hands into fists and began forcing his coping mechanisms to activate again, schooling his emotions to try and stop the tears. It took a few minutes, before he had finally stopped sobbing, and was left trying to get his body back in control.

He didn’t look at Heinz, who he knew was now kneeling on the floor next to him. “I’m sorry.” Perry whispered, like a small child. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it, I’m sorry..”

“Hey, hey.” Doofenshmirtz replied softly. “It’s okay, it’s okay..”

The two stayed in that position, just until Perry had finally stopped sniffling and was calming down. The agent still didn’t to turn around, mostly because embarrassment at his violent outburst of emotion had started to make him feel vulnerable. His nemesis had just seen him cry. And not just cry, but full on sob. How humiliating was that.

But Heinz had stopped rubbing his back and was now watching him, concerned. “You okay, Perry?”

Perry didn’t respond, simply stood up, still not looking at his nemesis, and grabbed his fedora, which had fallen off in the agent’s dramatic fall to the ground. He didn’t say anything to the man. He couldn’t. His entire body was screaming at him to run.

_Danger, danger, danger._

So despite the doctor’s quiet pleading, the platypus burst out the door and ran out of the building.

 

 


	37. Chapter 37

Heinz Doofenshmirtz was more confused than he had ever been in his life. He had no idea what just happened. One minute, Perry was comforting children, then he was yelling in Heinz’s face, then he was full out sobbing in the middle of his living room, and then he had just disappeared, without so much as a goodbye.

Heinz had been so inspired for this evil scheme, but now, it seemed pointless. He kicked the useless device, and left it sitting half finished in the middle of the floor.

No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t understand his nemesis. It’d taken Heinz a long time to admit it to himself, but all he wanted now was just to put this nemesis relationship behind them and start some kind of friendship with the man. And then, maybe even something further. Not that Heinz actually thought Perry would ever accept him that way, but one could dream.

But what did that mean for him, and for his evil schemes? What did that mean for his future? Was it really worth it?

Sighing, Heinz pulled out a box of almond brittle and began eating away his feelings. At least there was one thing in this world that would always give him instant satisfaction. Food.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Perry didn’t go to the Flynn-Fletchers. He didn’t go to O.W.C.A. He didn’t even go to his apartment. He wandered Danville for a good few hours, trying so hard to release all of this anger. He knew it was his fault. He’d, again, let it build up over the years. But this time, there was no city to destroy. There was no nemesis to beat.

There was just him. And Heinz.

He felt so ashamed. How could he have yelled at the man like that, and said such awful things? Perry burned with self-hate as he stormed around Danville. He was so fucked up. Despite all the good things he’d tried to accomplish, was there no way to finally atone for his sins? Was he doomed to live in this constant cycle of failure?

Perry finally ended up in the one place he didn’t mean to. The cemetery.

Many people might find graveyards creepy, but Perry always found a sense of comfort in the coldness and finality of the gravestones. Not that there was anyone in the Danville graveyard he particularly mourned- all his family were buried in Seattle- but it calmed his mind to simply walk up to each gravestone and read their names.

Perry took a break underneath an old tree and pulled out his pocketknife. He idly drew little swirls in the dirt, watching as it pushed up stones and worms.

His past was starting to catch up with him. Perry could feel it.

How long until they all found out?

The man laid out on the ground, uncaring and unable to escape from his thoughts. How long he laid there, he had no clue.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

His father was angry. So, so angry. He was leaning over Perry’s small frame, hands clawed around his neck, choking him. And he was yelling. Perry could smell the alcohol on his breath. He cried out, in so much pain, unable to breath.

But the harder he begged, the louder his father yelled, and the harder he choked him.

And then suddenly, Perry’s childhood face melted away, and now, Heinz was the one being choked and yelled at. And Perry, now an adult, was doing the yelling.

Heinz begged him to stop. He couldn’t breathe. He told him it hurt. Perry didn’t care. He didn’t stop.

And then suddenly, the agent jumped up, darting awake. The disturbed images melted away, leaving him in the middle of a dark place that he didn’t recognize. The agent tried to calm his beating heart while he took in his surroundings. He was laying on dirt. He was surrounded by gravestones.

He had really fallen asleep at the cemetery? The sun was almost gone, waving its last rays goodbye before it disappeared for another night. Perry stood, even though he was a little wobbly, and brushed off his jeans. His back ached. How on earth had he fallen asleep?

His emotions were still raging. But instead of anger, all the agent felt was guilt. He had to get back to Heinz, now. He had to apologize. He had to fix this. He couldn’t lose the man. He wouldn’t be his father.

Not even caring about how awful he must look after having slept on the ground for a few hours, Perry ran, unable to stop, until he found the man’s apartment. He climbed the stairs, two at a time, until he reached Doofenshmirtz’s floor.

The door was still busted from when Perry had forced himself through earlier. He hesitated for a brief moment, but made himself knock anyway.  
  
It took a few minutes, but finally, Doofenshmirtz opened the door. His eyebrows shot all the way up when he took in the sight of him. Perry blushed; he probably looked like a fright, but it didn’t stop him from breathing a sigh of relief. He stepped forward, and grabbed the man up in a giant hug.

Heinz was startled for a minute, unsure what to do. But eventually, his arms moved up to wrap around Perry’s frame. The agent savored the physical touch for a few moments, feeling emotions overwhelm him.

“I’m sorry.” Perry whispered, still holding onto the man for dear life. “I’m sorry for what I said.”

“Hey, hey..” Heinz stuttered. “It’s okay, really.. You were right, I wasn’t really thinking..”

“Yeah, but it still wasn’t fair of me.” The agent sighed, finally letting go. He faintly heard Peter’s words echo in the back of his mind. Doesn’t he deserve to know the real you? “It’s just been a rough couple of months. I don’t know what got into me.”

Heinz nodded. “Apology accepted.”

The two awkwardly stood there, not sure what to do or say next. Finally, Heinz coughed and opened the door a little wider. “Do you want to come in for a bit? Watch a movie?”

Perry smiled. “Sure.”

Heinz’s apartment was strangely void of spare parts, like was usually the case. Perry briefly wondered what the man had done with his half-finished Inator from earlier. The evil scientist pulled a few blueprints off the coffee table and set out two coasters.

  
“You want snacks?” He asked. “I just bought this almond-flavored popcorn from a new little shop at the mall. It’s the best. I think I’m addicted.”

The man disappeared into the kitchen. Perry smiled to himself, and picked up the few DVDs that were still piled up around the TV. The man was into the cheesiest, weirdest movies, but somehow, it seemed to fit his rather, foreign, drastic personality.

Doofenshmirtz had the roof almost completely retracted. Despite the fact that evening was fast approaching, a warm, summer breeze was still blowing through the atmosphere. Perry found himself walking to the far right, drawn in by the peacefulness of the colorful sky, and looking out over Danville. When had this city become his home?

He breathed slowly, inhaling and exhaling. The fresh air felt wonderful in his lungs, like a tall glass of thirsty water after a hard day of work. After a few minutes of enjoying the summer breeze, the agent turned and almost knocked into table, accidentally flinging a notepad onto the floor. He bent to pick up the fallen object, but upon seeing it, gasped in shock.

Someone had drawn an amazingly beautiful sketch of him. It was almost photo-exact. The human Perry in the picture was wearing his server’s apron, standing next to a table, polishing wine glasses. The agent gently followed each expressive line, astonished by the impeccable amount of detail in the drawing. Even his snakebites looked realistic.

“What are you doing?”

Perry jumped, and immediately set the sketchbook down. “Sorry.. I accidentally knocked it over. It was already open. I didn’t mean to..”

“That’s okay.” The man sighed, picking up the book and closing it. “Sorry, it’s kind’ve embarrassing.”

“Wait.. That’s.. Your drawing?”

Heinz raised an eyebrow. “Yeah. I mostly just sketch ideas for Inators now. But, when the inspiration strikes me..” He trailed off, blushing. “Well. I know it’s creepy. I mean nothing by it. I had started this sketch a month ago, and just got around to finishing it now.”

“I think it’s stunning. You’re very talented.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Really.”

The man was full-on blushing now and twisting a piece of his hair, obviously unsure what to do with the compliment. Finally, he coughed, and motioned towards the couch. “So, did you have a movie in mind? I just got Netflix, if we can’t find anything here..”

Perry wasn’t sure what was wrong with him. Lately, his emotions had been all over the place. But as the doctor rambled on and on about different movies he had stored in the apartment, and all the funny memories that were attached, Perry found himself enjoying this particular emotion. Was it happiness? Maybe contentment?

But a little voice, one that seemed to sound a lot like Phineas’s, began chuckling in the back of his mind. You know what this feeling is, Perry. It’s love.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

When Vanessa slipped back into her dad’s apartment, she was a little shocked to find him and Perry of all people cuddled up on the couch, underneath a pile of blankets, while some cheesy horror movie was playing in the background. But really, was she so surprised? It was only a matter of time for those two.

After grabbing a snack and her headphones, she disappeared into her room. With the lights off, Vanessa reluctantly turned her computer on and opened up Skype.

Almost immediately, she was invited to a group call.

“Perfect. That’s everyone.” Lacie smiled. “Hey, Vanessa! I’m glad you’re okay!”

“You too, Lacie.”

Orville let out a resounding cough, silencing everyone in the chat. “I have a proposition. Let’s kill those bastards who attacked us.”

There were cheers from several of the teenagers. Vanessa crossed her arms. “You can’t be serious. They kidnapped and did god knows what to us! And you just want to march in and attack? Are you stupid?”

Orville growled. “I’ve been having some serious doubts about your loyalty, Vanessa. Need a little reminder?”

  
Vanessa shivered. But she wasn’t going to be afraid. Not anymore. She had her dad, and Perry.

“I’m done with this so-called group.” She snapped.

The crew gaped, shocked. Orville’s face was a mixture of pure shock and pure rage, growing red every passing second. “You will regret that statement, miss Doofenshmirtz.” The teenager choked. “I warned you.”

All of a sudden, she was pushed out of the group call. But Vanessa felt a heavy weight lift off her shoulders. She’d done it; she’d quit. The girl pulled out a piece of paper she’d kept hidden under her bed for quite some time. It was an application for an internship at O.W.C.A.

Now filled with a sudden boost of confidence, Vanessa began filling it out.


	38. Chapter 38

Perry jumped awake. He glanced around, unsure where he was. The unfamiliar surroundings made him begin to panic, and he pulled backwards, falling to the ground. It wasn’t until the world stopped spinning that he realized someone was gripping his shoulders and calling out his name.

Perry looked up, and felt his body relax when he saw Heinz’s face.

“Hey, man, are you alright? Were you having a nightmare?”

The TV was still playing, but the sound was turned completely down. The apartment was dark, but Perry could still make out the man’s interesting furniture. His face and hands were sweaty, and he felt like he was going to be sick, as the affects of the nightmare washed over him.

He’d been screaming and screaming. And the pain wouldn’t stop.

He was pretty sure he’d screamed out his father’s name, but he didn’t dare ask Heinz if that was the case. The agent took a deep breath, schooling in his emotions, and climbed back on the couch. Heinz was watching him with an intense expression, as if trying to read the man. He put a hand on Perry’s back in comfort.

“Anything you want to talk about?”

Perry let his long, wavy hair slightly fall in front of his face. He didn’t look at the man. Most of his mind was shouting at him to shut down, and push the emotions away as far as he could. But for the first time, Perry was beginning to realize how much lying to everyone around him about his mental state was tearing him down.

_Do you trust me?_

Perry had asked that of Heinz not too long ago. Could he reciprocate the favor?

Balling his fists in frustration, Perry let out a long sigh. “I’ve been having a lot of bad nightmares lately. I mean, I’ve always had nightmares. And when I’m a platypus, they aren’t as traumatizing because a platypus’s brain isn’t quite so attuned to lot of complex human emotions. But for some reason, even in platypus form, they have been really, really bad.”

Perry stumbled over his words, and he still wasn’t looking at the man. But he felt a little weight start to lift off his chest.

“I’m sorry if I woke you.”

“No, it’s okay.” Heinz sighed. “I understand. I get nightmares too.” When the scientist realized the agent wasn’t going to say anything, he continued, “I’ve talked to you a lot about my dad. I remember him as being cold and dismissive, but at least he kept his distance. My mother, on the other hand..” The man cringed. “She used to threaten me with knives, fire crackers, bombs, kidnappers, stories of Drusselsteinian monsters.. Anything she could come up with the keep me obedient. It’s stupid, but I still get nightmares about the time she locked me all night long in the basement that was supposedly haunted by this half-ghost, half-vampire.”

Perry groaned. “You better hope I never meet your mother.”

“Look, I know I’m, you know, evil. But I’m not like most. I would never use your past against you.”

“I know.” Perry sighed. “You forget I’ve known you for five years, D. I’ve studied you.”

“And yet, you still don’t trust me enough to let me in? I mean, maybe you have this incredible girlfriend or best friend somewhere out in the world that you tell these things too. Because despite our five years of fighting each other, I know almost nothing about you. And I’m not trying to pressure you. But I’ve watched you at some of your lowest, and you still avoid the pain like it’s nothing. You can’t just keep these things in, Perry. It isn’t good for you. I would know.”

“I don’t have a girlfriend.” Perry found himself spitting out.

Was it his imagination, or did his nemesis just sigh in relief?

“See? That’s a start.” Heinz let out a small smile.

Perry glanced at the TV. Right now, the characters on the screen were chasing down a runaway car and avoiding gunshots at the same time. The scene was strangely comical to watch without the sound to give it context.

“I don’t keep my past hidden because I don’t trust you.” Perry finally admitted. “It’s just O.W.C.A. protocol. Be confident. Be cold. Be fearless.” He recited. “Because fear is weakness, you see. And love is the single most trigger for fear.”

“That sounds more like ‘evil scientist’ protocol to me. Like what they taught in the classroom at evil science school.”

Perry held his breath. Was his thinking really that twisted? Had he ever really learned what it meant to be a “good guy”? A hero? He clenched his fists even tighter, looking at the man unblinkingly. How could he even respond to that? But for once, Heinz wasn’t saying anything. He waited, unthreateningly and patiently, unable to look away from their connected gaze, either.

Finally, Perry deeply exhaled. “I guess I have a lot of rethinking to do.”

Heinz crossed his arms and laid back on the couch. “I just, I don’t have to know your worst childhood traumas. But it would be nice to know something about you.”“Well. What do you want to know?”

“What’s your favorite color?”

“Black.”

“Ah.. wait, really?”

Perry chuckled. “I do wear it every day. What’s yours?”

“I thought I was asking the questions.”

Perry pouted playfully. “But I don’t know your favorite color.”

“Fine. My favorite color is brown.”

The platypus raised an eyebrow. “Like.. muddy brown? Chocolate brown?”

The doctor shrugged. “Warm brown. Like your eyes, brown.”

Perry found himself blushing. Jeez, what was he, a teenaged school girl? He cleared his throat, hoping the doctor hadn’t noticed that moment of emotion. “I used to wish my eyes were green. Green eyes are so beautiful.”

“Well, don’t. Your eyes are beautiful just the way they are.” Heinz grinned. “Did you grow up in Danville?”

“No, I was born in California. I moved to Seattle as a small child, and lived there most of my life. I only relocated to Danville about seven years ago.”

“You’re from Cali? Explains a lot.”

Perry lightly elbowed Heinz in the chest. “We were in very different parts of the world at that time, weren’t we?”

“No kidding. Do your parents still live in Seattle?”

The agent’s face fell. He leaned back a little bit, memories flooding him. “My mother and father both grew up in California. My mother passed away when I was five. That’s why my father moved us to Seattle. My father passed away about.. twenty years ago, now.”

“Ah.” Doofenshmirtz sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. My father was a jackass. And I don’t really remember my mother.”

Heinz looked as if he wanted to comment on that particular memory, but wisely decided to let it go. “So, what did your parents do for a living?”

_Don’t answer that._

Perry’s first reaction was to skip that particular question and give the man a hard glare. But, he bit back the harsh words and forced himself to calm down. The man wasn’t trying to pry. And didn’t Perry say he trusted him?

“My mom was an O.W.C.A. agent, back when the American version of O.W.C.A. had human agents. And my dad.. my dad was.. evil. He was an evil scientist.”

Heinz’s mouth dropped. “Wait, seriously? How did that work?”

“I don’t know.” Perry sighed. “I have done all the research I can. They were nemeses, for years and years. I don’t know how I came into the picture.” The agent grimaced. “I’m pretty sure my dad murdered my mom all those years ago.”

“Gosh. That’s.. terrible. I’m sorry.” There was an awkward pause. Perry played with the sleeves of his shirt, unsure what else to do. “So..” Heinz broke the silence with an awkward cough, “you decided to follow your mother then, huh? Is that why you turned yourself into a platypus? Because they don’t allow human agents anymore?”

Perry hesitated. Heinz noticed, and suddenly covered his mouth with his hands. “If I’m being too nosy..”

“No.” Perry sighed. “It’s okay.” Doesn’t he deserve to know the real you? “Actually, it wasn’t as simple as you think. I didn’t know my mother. All I knew was my father and his lifestyle. I grew up listening to my father’s monologues, seeing O.W.C.A. agents flying through our walls and doors, and battles that usually ended in blowing up my father’s inventions.”

Perry scrunched up his face as the memories passed him. “My father was always tearing me down, though. I loved him, and wanted to make him proud. But I also hated him, and wanted to hurt him. Eventually, I decided that if I became a better evil scientist than he was, I’d make him proud, and also hurt him at the same time. So, I went to UTA in Seattle, and-”

“Whoa, whoa whoa,” Doofenshmirtz cut in, “I just heard you correctly, right?”

The agent let slip a hesitated laugh. “Yeah.. I know. It’s weird to imagine. I still can’t believe it happened sometimes.”

“You were evil?”

The two were sitting so close that Perry could feel the man’s breath on his shoulders. Their tight proximity was making his heart race, but he forced himself to concentrate. There was no way the man felt the same way. Making a move now would be a mistake. Especially considering the circumstances..

The agent shakily nodded his head. “Trust me, I understand you more than you think.”

Heinz took a few moments to process the information, clearly trying to comprehend. Perry let him think, wishing he could read the man’s mind. Finally, Heinz raised an eyebrow. “So, how are you a good guy now?”

Perry couldn’t think about that night. He wouldn’t. Vaguely, he replied, “My nemesis. He.. finally convinced me. So I faked my own death one night, and started over.”

“Faked your own death?”

  
Perry swallowed. “I didn’t fight Dr. Tecton, Heinz.” He said in a low voice. “I am, or I guess was, Dr. Tecton. He’s my worst fear because.. no matter how hard I try to be good, evil is still in me. It just.. it never goes away.”

“Perry..” Heinz whimpered. “Evil isn’t so bad, is it?”

“You researched me.” Perry snapped. “What do you think?”

 _Seattle Destroyed by Terrorist. Seattle in ruins after fatal city-wide attack._ The headlines ran through the Perry’s head, causing his brutal, sharp tone. It caused the doctor to blink. The agent closed his eyes and took a deep breath, allowing the evil scientist to ponder for a moment. It was obvious Heinz had many more questions, but was trying very hard not to ask them. Maybe Perry would answer them someday, but he had had enough of talking about his fucked up past.

Perry remembered that day. He’d been so bitter, so angry, that he’d lost all control. Seattle had paid as a consequence. The agent remembered waking up on top of a building, sore and burned, and looked out to see his robots and weapons completely destroying building after building. People had been running for miles, desperately ducking for cover. But instead of feeling euphoria, Perry had felt something else.. guilt. For the first time in his life, he realized that he had no soul.

So he had taken the blaster, and shot his own head. If Peter hadn’t found him, and healed him somehow, he wouldn’t have been alive.

Of course, the treatment had come with consequences. In order to keep him alive, Peter had had to use Perry’s own invention, the one that had turned the panda into a human in the first place, and fuse Perry’s DNA with another animal.

So, Perry had faked his own death, and joined the agency.

“Perry?”

The platypus started as he realized Heinz was trying to get his attention. Perry took a deep breath and slightly smiled at the man, but it was a bittersweet smile. “I’ve told you all this to prove that I trust you. You now hold the information necessary to have me put in prison for life. Do you understand?”

Heinz nodded, still looking dazed. The two stayed in complete silence for a long time, watching the movie without sound, processing the moment that they’d just shared. Perry could feel Heinz pulling away from him, as if uncomfortable, or maybe even scared. It broke the agent’s heart just a bit, but he knew he’d done the right thing.

Now, at least, their relationship would be honest.


	39. Chapter 39

When Heinz woke the next morning, the movie had ended, the blankets were strewn all over the floor, and he was alone on the couch. Perry hadn’t dropped a note or anything, just let himself out. It left Heinz a bit disappointed, honestly, but he figured after the strange conversation they’d had the night before, the agent was feeling vulnerable. That was something he could understand.

Memories began flooding Heinz’s cloudy brain as he stood and stretched. He’d found out more about his nemesis in one night than he had in all of their five-year nemesis-ship, and he was still having a hard time processing it.

After turning off the TV and grabbing a cup of coffee, Doofenshmirtz sidled over to his computer and typed the name Dr. Tecton into the search bar once more. He hadn’t paid much attention to the details, but now that he knew who this villain had really been..

_Anonymous Attack on Seattle Leaves Many Injured_  
_By Diane Burr_

_On Sept. 14, 2010, Seattle was under siege by what the federal government is saying one of the most brutal attacks on American soil to date. The brunt of the terror left over three hundred people injured, 15% of which were almost fatal. The casualty number is uncertain, but the police did reveal that there were casualties._

_Around three o’clock that afternoon, people ran in fear as downtown Seattle was attacked by several thousand violent drones, which crashed buildings, overturned fleeing cars, struck down bridges, and invaded civilians. Police were able to stop the attack, but the perpetrator, or perpetrators, were never discovered._

_The investigation is still ongoing. The FBI thinks a terrorist group may be involved, but will not be revealing any updates until they have concrete evidence._

Heinz sat back, completely floored. Perry had done this? His Perry? It just didn’t seem feasible, but the doctor couldn’t think of any possible reason why the man would gain to lie about something like this. And if O.W.C.A. didn’t know, then the man was keeping one hell of a secret.

But despite finally having an upper hand on his nemesis, something worth perpetrating as blackmail, the evil scientist found he had no motive to use it. It was true, he was in love with the teal-haired agent. They’d come so close to a true bonding moment, and Heinz had to, of course, ruin it with his endless curiosity and big mouth.

Hoping to escape his thoughts, the scientist turned off his computer and stepped into the bathroom to take a shower. He let the hot water wash over him, relieved to finally feel himself wake up. The water felt so good on his cramped muscles.

And then, the doctor began to feel woozy, almost like he’d just stepped off a rollercoaster after eating a whole bag of sugar pretzels. He grabbed at the wall, trying to balance himself. He managed to turn off the water.

The doctor attempted to step out of the shower, calling out Vanessa’s name, but a wave of nausea overtook him, and he felt his world begin to spin.

He just saw the edge of Vanessa’s panicked face, when he blacked out and fell to the ground.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Perry arrived at his apartment before dawn. Even though Heinz had eventually fallen asleep against Perry’s shoulders, the agent hadn’t slept, and didn’t feel strong enough to face the man in the morning. So when the second movie they’d put on finally ended, he slipped out of the doctor’s grasp, and headed into the darkness.

The agent knew he couldn’t hide it anymore. He was crushing on Heinz Doofenshmirtz, and couldn’t seem to get over the infatuation. It had even driven him to reveal some of his darkest, most personal memories. Perry almost regretted what he did, but at the same time, felt a sort of relief that the man finally knew. Now their relationship would be based on a true relationship, and not just a hard-hearted, professional persona.

As Perry was changing into different clothes, his watch began to beep. Strange, what did Major Monogram want with him at six in the morning?

Perry quickly transformed into a platypus, put on his fedora, and answered the call.

“Agent P.! How are you feeling?”

The platypus chattered confusedly.

“Thank goodness. We’ve had a lot of disturbing calls from quite a few of our agents saying that they’ve been feeling rather sick. I would have assumed that it was a contagion going around with a strain only dangerous to animals, but it seems all of Danville has been experiencing this sickness. Scientists are saying it might be a new virus, but here at O.W.C.A., we have our suspicions.”

“You mean you have your suspicions, Sir.” Carl interrupted in the background.

“I’m paranoid, I can’t help it!” The major snapped. “It’s even on my horoscope. Anyway, we suspect that evil is involved. Our sources-“

All of a sudden, the background at headquarters began flashing bright red. “Carl!” The major cried. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know, Sir!” Carl rushing into view, typing furiously at the computer. “It seems the spy cameras have picked up some sort of major disturbance in downtown Danville. Giant robots.. people in lab coats..”

“Change of plans!” Major Monogram sighed. “Head downtown and put a stop to that nonsense. I’m sure they are the perpetrators. I’m sending recruits.”

Perry saluted, and grabbed his gear. He had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.

When the agent reached downtown, the scene was already completely out of control. Giant robots in the shapes of mutant-like elephants were storming down the main road, demolishing everything in their path. Perry noticed that the police were already on duty, shooting at the metal object, trying to stop it, but the machines were built with incredible strength, and remained indifferent to the attack.

Around the corner, Perry made eye contact with Pinky, and a few other agents, who nodded, wordlessly conveying that they would follow his call. Sighing, the agent watched as the metal elephants got closer. If only there was a secret way around them..

Suddenly, the massive robots stopped in their tracks. The police held their fire, waiting with bated breath, as one of the heads began slowly ascending, and two evil scientists stepped into view.

Perry groaned. Dr. Gevaarlijk. And his evil self, Dr. Tecton.

The two walked forward, grinning with uncontrollably smugness. Perry waited until they were crossed right beside the hidden agents, before letting out a huge whistle, signaling the attack. Pinky and the others immediately jumped forward, and grabbed at the two evil scientists, bringing them to the ground. The police raged forward, ready to attack the robots.

Perry held his evil self in a immobile position. But the doctor just grinned. One by one, the police cried out as the elephants let out an electric field, almost fatally shocking the authority.

“Let us go, and they’ll stop.” Dr. Tecton snarled.

Perry reluctantly stood back, as did the other agents. Dr. Gevaarlijk cried like a hyena, and pulled out a small remote, which she immediately pressed. Perry suddenly gasped, feeling his head begin to spin. He felt sick. What was happening?

His knees grew weak, and he collapsed to the ground. Desperately, the agent tried to look around, and was horrified to see his comrades, and other civilians, passing out all around him. He tried to force his body to get up, but something was holding him back. He felt heavy and light-headed.

Dr. Tecton grabbed him by the neck and lifted him up, letting his beaver tail waver in the air.

“I win.” The man snarled, before Perry felt the world go black.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

When Perry awoke, he couldn’t move. His head was propped against the wall. He was human, and his fedora was missing. He tried to look around the room, but everything was dizzy and blurry. He tried to shake his head and move his arms, but it was like he was paralyzed. His heart pumped in fear. What was happening?

In front of him was a fireplace, and a nightstand full of books. The fire had been reduced to embers at this point, leaving the room cold and uninviting. It wasn’t familiar to the agent.

Suddenly, a door slammed open, and Dr. Tecton entered the room. The man was wearing a brand new black suit, with a flowing train that swayed as he walked. He adorned the mask, and was wearing eye liner. He looked disgusting, in Perry’s eyes.

Dr. Tecton pulled up a chair, setting himself to Perry’s height, and stared at the agent. Perry’s breath hitched.

“I know you’re in there.” The doctor laughed. “Even though I have complete control over your mind, I know you’re still conscious. It’s how we designed the drug; even though you have no free will, you can still watch everything that’s happening.”

The scientist leaned in closer, and whispered. “I asked for special permission to keep you.”

Perry couldn’t move, and he certain couldn’t speak, but his mind was racing. Drug? Mind control?

“It’s all thanks to you, by the way.” Dr. Tecton laughed, as if reading his mind. “If it wasn’t for that information regarding Operation Kur, Dr. Gevaarlijk wouldn’t have been able to do it. I guess good guys really do lose after all. Too bad you had to learn it the hard way.”

“I’m sure you’re wondering how we did it.”

Perry would have rolled his eyes if he could. He forgot how prone he had been to monologuing.

“It was all Dr. Gevaarlijk’s idea. She knew about Operation Kur, and knew once you got the information for her, all she had to do was follow the instructions and create the famous mind controlling drug.” The doctor smirked. “Who knew O.W.C.A. was so devious back in the day? Trying to create drugs to control people’s minds? Makes you wonder, doesn’t it..”

Operation Kur.. So, the information had been about a historical, top secret experimentation lab that had tried to create drugs used to control people’s minds. Perry had heard rumors of such a history, but had never actually believed it to be true. He briefly wondered how Dr. Gevaarlijk had figured out of its existence.

“But what she doesn’t know..” The evil scientist continued, “is that once victory is gained, I’m taking over her evil scheme. And I’m going to use you to do it, since you so obviously can’t achieve anything on your own.

I really just don’t understand.” Dr. Tecton was now up and pacing about the room. “We had so much potential. I was going to give you everything. We could have been great. And then you.. tossed me away, like some broken machine, and kept me locked away from my true greatness. I could have given you the world.” He stopped and slid a finger down Perry’s chin. The agent knew his face remained stoic, but inside he was growling.

“How hard is to it admit that you actually do need me?”

It was creepy, looking so deep into his own eyes, and knowing that they held nothing but blackened contempt.

“Oh well. I guess now it doesn’t matter if you admit it or not!”

Then the doctor was gone, his laughter echoing through the room as the last of the embers faded out. Perry groaned, helpless. If he didn’t stop this nonsense, there was no telling what his evil self would do..


	40. Chapter 40

Perry didn’t know how many hours had passed, but eventually, Dr. Tecton arrived again, bringing with him a few agents from O.W.C.A. The animals were completely still, and their eyes did not waver. They were fully under the drug’s control.

The evil scientist had some kind of remote on him. He stepped forward, and placed a band around the agent’s head. He felt it begin buzz, almost as if it was melting into his brain. He could only compare it to the feeling of the De-Volition-inator Heinz had used to control him earlier that summer.

Heinz.. Perry felt dread creep up his body. If the evil scientists had put the drug in Danville’s water supply, then it was likely Heinz was also being controlled. And Vanessa. And Phineas and Ferb, and then rest of his host family.

Anger poured through the agent’s system, but it fizzled out inside his mind as Dr. Tecton pushed a button on a little remote in his collar, making Perry stand.

“Now you’re all mine.” The doctor laughed. “And we have some work to do.”

Perry and the other agents were marched through a series of corridors, until they reached the outdoor world. The platypus’s face fell as he looked out at Danville. It wasn’t the bustling, buzzing city that he knew. It was completely desolate, and burning with smoke. He could see Danville civilians marching in single file towards another building, all with headbands on, being controlled by a different evil scientist.

What exactly was their plan?

Dr. Tecton ordered them all to circle around the city’s outer walls, where the harbor surrounded. All of O.W.C.A.’s agents and the police force were stood guarding the city, weapons drawn. The SIG felt comfortable in Perry’s hand; he realized it as his own. He swallowed. The agent tried so hard to force his muscles to put the weapon down, but they wouldn’t budge.

Suddenly, there was a helicopter that hovered just outside of Danville’s borders. A soldier stood, peering out, a loudspeaker in hand.

“SURRENDER THE HOSTAGES!” The soldier cried.

It was then that Perry noticed the giant O.W.C.A. logo on the side of the helicopter. He wondered what sector the recruitments were from, and how many more were just beyond the border.

Of course, it really was no use. As long as all of Danville was being controlled, there was no way to fight back.

Dr. Gevaarlijk, having now taken over city hall, had a huge projection of her face cast over Danville’s tallest building. She laughed. Her voice rang throughout the whole city.

  
“I don’t care how many agents you have on standby.” She cried. “You’ve lost. I’ve won. There’s not a threat on earth that could convince me to release my prisoners. And soon.. you will be joining them.”

“I SAID SURRENDER OR FACE JUSTICE!” The man on the helicopter shouted again.

But Dr. Gevaarlijk simply laughed, and shut off the screen. Perry felt his arms lift the gun towards the harbor, finger on the trigger, ready to shoot. Some agents and policemen were already firing sniper rifles in the helicopter’s direction. The pilot had to swerve out of the way and find another tactic.

Perry snarled to himself. Someone had better come up with a plan, and fast.

The agents stood, guarding Danville, all through the day and into the night. Perry felt his limbs growing tired, but he couldn’t sit. He sighed to himself, arms still drawn, almost wishing for death at this point.

About midnight, or so it seemed, Perry was suddenly ordered to abandon his position, and sneak down dark alleyways, until he reached his own secret lair under the Flynn-Fletcher household. Strange. Why would Dr. Tecton send him there? But the scientist was already waiting for him when he arrived, still dressed up, smirking. In his hand, he held a shiny new weapon, most likely made of medal. Perry wasn’t sure if it was a blaster or some kind of knife. The barrel, or blade, stayed concealed inside the long, metal container.

“Hm, I forgot how much I hated this place.” Dr. Tecton laughed as Perry was forced to come forward and unlock his computer. “Unfortunately, O.W.C.A. is all offline, but that’s not what I’ve brought you here for. It’s time I enacted my own little score.”

Once the computer was unlocked, Perry felt his hands move the mouse and click into a hacking software. Dr. Tecton guided him through, until they finally cracked into an online server. It seemed to be coming from city hall.

“We won’t have much time.” Dr. Tecton sighed. “Shut down city hall, and then let’s book it there in our hover-car.”

Perry did as he was told. With city hall’s security and wifi hacked through, the agent was able to shut down all of their controls and defenses. He figured Dr. Gevaarlijk would be furious, and already planning her attack, but Perry found that two agents were already attacking city hall when they arrived.

Dr. Tecton pulled out a blaster and shot through the front door, bursting in with Perry in tow. Dr. Gevaarlijk was already on the floor, barely breathing, a broken tea cup in front of her. She screamed when she saw his evil self.

“How.. did you.. get past my.. security.. you.. bastard..”

Zachary Tecton chuckled. “I’m sorry, my dear. I know you really wanted this victory. But unfortunately, I just don’t play the minion.”

“You.. ugahahh..”

Clearly, the evil scientist was dying. Perry, shamefully, didn’t feel much pity for the woman, who was clawing at the floor and at her throat, desperately trying to fight whatever poison Dr. Tecton had given her. However, his evil self hadn’t had enough of the fight. He ordered Perry to pull out his SIG and point it at her forehead.

At that moment, the four other evil scientists burst into the room, their own weapons drawn, and civilians under their control at their side. All weapons pointed at Perry and at his evil self, ready to fire. The whole room was still, but the tension could be cut with a knife. Perry tried not to listen to Dr. Gevaarlijk’s gurgling.

“Don’t move.” One of the scientists demanded, going to Dr. Gevaarlijk’s side and trying to revive her. But it was already almost too late. At that moment, the whole room broke into a battle.

But Perry was ordered to remain in his position, desperately watching as his fingers began to wrap themselves around the trigger. The scientist held himself in front of the weapon, his own blaster drawn, ready to fire at Perry.

“Don’t shoot! Or I’ll-“

But the man was stopped by the bullet that was immediately catapulted into his heart. The man fell forwards, blood dripping onto the ground. Dr. Gevaarlijk’s eyes widened, but Perry wasted no time in shooting another bullet directly into her head. The woman fell, dead within seconds, right beside the other evil scientists. Perry wrinkled his nose at the smell. He was shaking, but he could not move.

Immediately, Dr. Tecton grabbed Dr. Gevaarlijk’s remote control, and switched all of the battling civilians under his control. Shocked and confused, the other evil scientists scattered, probably to abandon Danville now that their leader was gone.

“See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” Dr. Tecton taunted, looking straight at Perry. “Don’t look so dejected. You know you wanted to do it.”

No, he didn’t. As much as he abhorred Dr. Gevaarlijk and all the misery she’d put him through, he’d never wished her dead. He felt guilt rise up in his mind, forced to watch the two people he’d killed bleed out over the floor.

Just as Dr. Tecton was about to turn around and gain control of the rest of Danville, the door to city hall was pushed open, and five human operatives burst into the room. Immediately, the agents under Zachary’s control began shooting, but they bounced right off the fighter’s bullet-proof vests. All of a sudden, one of the operatives released his mask and revealed his face.

_Peter._

“Long time, no see.” The panda snickered. “I’ve missed you, Zachary.”

Dr. Tecton swung around, and faced his nemesis for the first time in years. The two stared each other down for a second, years of hate and fighting finally boiling over. Dr. Tecton reacted first, trying to shoot Peter with a blaster, but the human Peter dodged it easily with the rocket boots they’d made, and pounced forward with his own weapon.

Peter managed to swipe the evil scientist with a knife right across the cheek, making him bleed.

Dr. Tecton growled in anger, growled at his nemesis, and pulled out his new weapon. Perry gasped as he realized what it was. The light saber. He’d finally made it. Dr. Tecton held the light saber in his hands, aiming it forward, ready to attack. The blade was glowing blue, and was so hot that even Perry could feel it across the room. The weapon was definitely dangerous. He wondered what material the man had ended up making it out of.

Perry looked awe-struck for a second, but immediately jumped into secret agent mode, pulling out his blaster and fighting back. Zachary swung furiously at the agent, slashing through solid stone and brick. Peter managed to dodge, but just barely.

It was strange, watching a battle between himself and Peter from the sidelines. Was this what they looked like, back in the day. The agent wished he could help, but it was as if his mind was trapped inside a metal cage. He watched helplessly as Peter fought as bravely as he could with the weapons he had. But Dr. Tecton managed to hit one of the rocket boots, crushing them, and knocked Peter to the ground.

  
“I should have killed you when I had the chance.” Dr. Tecton growled.

Peter pulled up a piece of metal in the ground, using it as a shield. The light saber pushed through, just barely missing Peter’s ears, and got stuck in the metal. Dr. Tecton groaned as he tried to pull it out. Peter took this opportunity to kick his opponent in the legs, knocking him over, and knocking the saber out of his hands.

The agent held the blaster to Dr. Tecton’s head, snarling. “You really should have killed me.” He cried.

Perry watched as Peter went to shoot his evil self, but was stunned when Dr. Tecton dodged the attack and reached out for the light saber once more. He activated it, and swung it against Peter, hitting him in the arm. The agent cried in immense pain, and fell to the floor. Perry’s mind was screaming as his evil self advanced on Peter, ready to end it all.

Suddenly, anger overcame Perry’s senses, overtaking him in the moment. The anger was so severe, that he immediately felt the band snap from his head, and his mind become free from whatever was trapping it. Whether by faulty technology or his own will, the platypus pushed forward and knocked Dr. Tecton to the ground. The light saber knocked out of the man’s hand.

“No! How did you..?”

But Perry cut him off, picking up the light saber and swinging it at his evil self. It caught Dr. Tecton right underneath his throat, only barely giving the man a chemical burn. The man screamed from the pain, and ordered the agents in his control to grab him and pull him out. Perry went after him, but the agents were too numerous, using blasters to cover their escape.

In the end, Perry decided to run over to Peter and begin applying pressure to his wound.

  
“Told you that light saber would be awesome..” The panda chuckled weakly.

“Shut up, you absolute dork.”


	41. Chapter 41

Once Perry had Peter bandaged, he helped the panda sneak around Danville, using the most unlikely pathways where Dr. Tecton wouldn’t think to have secret agents prowling about, until they got to an underground panic facility that O.W.C.A. had installed for code alpha red emergencies. The space wasn’t very impressive, but it was stocked with food to last a couple years, and plenty of blankets to keep warm. But most helpful of all, it had a huge medical supply.

Perry helped Peter to the ground and grabbed an emergency medical kit. The panda hissed in pain as the platypus cleaned the wound and wrapped it up tighter.

"Can you walk?"

Peter cringed, but allowed himself to be helped up by the agent.

"Thank you." Peter sighed, grabbing a water bottle from the supply storage and taking a long sip. "You wouldn't believe how many agents are outside of Danville. All of O.W.C.A., C.O.W.C.A. and the FBI are trying to get this under control."

"And yet, none of them can help because my evil _bastard_ has the whole city taken hostage." Perry growled.

"The FBI sent in a few covert agents. They managed to get a sample of one of the victim's DNA and are working on a cure. But it's going to take time. The agencies have been instructed to keep the enemy busy."

"And let me guess, you volunteered?" Perry raised an eyebrow.

"Dr. Tecton is my nemesis, if you remember." Peter grinned goofily. "Plus, Lyla Lolliberry is worried about you and convinced C.O.W.C.A. to let her down too. There's no way I wasn't going."

"Lyla is here?"

"The girl can handle herself, P. She has back up."

"Well, I can't just stay here."

"Look," Peter sighed, "I know it's tough, but there's really nothing we can do-"

Perry grabbed the panda's shoulders. "Phineas and Ferb are still out there. And so are Heinz and Vanessa. I have to help them."

"How? Do you even know how you got free of that monster's-"

"I have to try. Please Peter."

Peter looked as if he wanted to argue, but mentally swallowed whatever point he would try to make. "You really care about Heinz, don't you?" Peter finally murmured, looking right into his companion's eyes.

The platypus blushed. Was it really so obvious?

"I know it's forbidden-"

Peter held up his hand, stopping Perry's excuse. "Honestly, I think he loves you, too. So we’ll go. And take this.” Peter pulled out a communicator from his pocket, and handed one to Perry. “Lyla and I are both connected to the line. She can help if we need her.”

Perry took the device with gratitude, and set the piece around his ear. The two continued to examine Peter’s wound, until he was sure the pain medicine was kicking in, and he could walk again.

Perry didn’t notice he was frowning until Peter frowned back at him. “Are you okay, Perry?”

He’d just killed someone. Yeah, it wasn’t willingly, but still..

But Perry pushed Dr. Gevaarlijk’s bloody, lifeless face out of his mind. “I’m fine.”

Once Peter was sure he was ready to travel again, they slipped back out to the surface world, peeking around to see if any danger was near. Thankfully, after waiting out a few agents who passed through, the coast was clear.

Perry wasn't sure where exactly he'd find any of his family, but decided to start with the Flynn-Fletcher household, in the hopes of learning some clues about Phineas and Ferb’s whereabouts. It might have seemed selfish to conduct a personal rescue mission for his own family, but Perry knew his evil self was likely to use them as bait or blackmail if he knew spies had entered Danville. And despite his overwhelming panic for Heinz’s safety, his boys would always take top priority.

The house was burnt to a crisp, unveiling the secret lair underneath. Perry’s heart raced when he strode through the rubble, but upon finding nobody at the house, he calmed a bit. Where could Dr. Tecton have taken them?

Suddenly, there was a loud thud. Both Perry and Peter swung around, weapons drawn.

It was Lyla.

“Sorry to scare you, eh.” Lyla sighed. “I just figured you’d both be here.”

In a burst of enthusiasm, Perry ran up and grabbed the female in a hug. Shocked, she froze for a second as his arms wrapped around her, but she soon realized what was happening and returned the sentiment.

“Wow, I didn’t know you’d missed me that much.” Lyla laughed.

“Where’s your backup?” Peter asked.

“We were attacked.” She sighed. “One of the agents was badly injured. He was transported back to the city line.”

“You should have gone with them.” The platypus crossed his arms.

“And leave you with all the fun?” She grinned. “Like hell.”

Perry shook his head. “Have you seen Phineas and Ferb?”

“I saw them once, down by the other side of town. Looks like that monster has them working on some kind of huge.. device? They’re with a bunch of other scientists.”

“Device?” Peter raised an eyebrow.

“Yes.” She breathed heavily. “C.O.W.C.A. still has no idea what it is, but we are working on getting answers. Who is that guy, anyway? I thought there was a whole team of evil scientists who constructed this nefarious plot-“

“I’m not entirely sure.” Perry lied through his teeth. “Listen, I need to get to Phineas and Ferb and bring them to safety.”

“Okay.” She sighed. “Maybe I can get a lead on that machine at the same time. But Perry,” She cut in as the platypus was about to move, “the whole place is covered in compromised agents. There’s no way we are going to be able to sneak in, grab your boys, and get out alive.”

The agents hesitated for a second. She was right. But surely there was some detail that his evil self would have missed.. And then, it suddenly hit him.

“Follow me.” He grinned. “I have an idea.”

The three agents scurried back into Danville, crossing over to the other side of town.

It took forever to reach the familiar purple building with all the mind-controlled civilians crawling amidst the streets, but the agents took underground back ways, built and constructed by O.W.C.A. themselves, to move about the city. They ended up at their destination completely undetected.

The platypus didn’t wait for the elevator, climbing onto the roof of the building and cutting through, creating himself an entrance. Both Lyla and Peter followed, still looking confused, but allowing themselves to continue without questions.

Perry landed in Doofenshmirtz’s lair, but bypassed the empty apartment, and opened a closet door in the very back of the hallway. It seemed Heinz and Vanessa were gone, but Perry sighed in jubilation when he saw Norm, curled in the back of the closet, silent as can be. It seemed someone had damaged his controls.

“Norm? Is that you?” Perry asked hesitantly.

The robot looked up, his metal eyes blank for a second, but his programming finally kicked in. “Perry the Non-Platypus. Nice to see you. Are you here to hurt me, like my father and sister?”

Perry shook his head. “No, we are the good guys again. We need your help to rescue your father and sister.”

“My help?”

“Yes. You have more power than Dr. D. gave you credit, Norm. We need to sneak into Danville and make it out alive with our family.”

Norm’s robotic frown turned 180 degrees, and the robot attempted to stand, hitting his head against the ceiling and applying what looked like a dent similar to the hundred more that surrounded it. “Okay! But I need you to fix me first, before I can go on a rescue.”

Perry dragged Norm into the open, where Peter and Lyla stood, eyebrows raised in awe. “No problem!” The platypus smiled. “We’ll get you back to your old self. Where does Heinz keep his tools?”

The three agents sat Norm in the living room, and began fixing and reconnecting his wiring. Soon, the robot was able to move his arms and head as normal, and his combative weapons system came back online.

“Whoo!” Lyla cried. “Now let’s go kick some evil scientist ass!”

Perry chuckled. It was always so strange when the normally polite woman used inappropriate words. The two agents hopped into Norm’s body and powered off into the quickly approaching evening, hoping they would make it in and out alright.

When Norm arrived about a block away from where Lyla reported she’d last seen the boys, the agents hid Norm around a corner and began scouting the area. Compromised citizens and agents were swarming from every corner; getting in undetected was going to be no easy feat.

“Do you think that bad guy is around?” Lyla asked hesitantly.

Perry shook his head. “I don’t think it matters. He may not be here, but he is definitely watching.”

“Here’s the plan.” He continued. “Norm, you are going to walk in and cause a distraction. Once the compromised people begin to follow you, we will sneak in through that air vent. It’s likely Dr. Tecton has every area of the place monitored, so we have to move fast. Once we slip inside, we lure Phineas and Ferb and Candace out the back entrance. We should get all of the agent’s attention, enough to get them away from Norm, and headed towards us. That gives you, Norm, time to swing back and meet us at this spot, where we will make our escape into the sky.”

“There are many possibilities for failure in that plan, Perry the Platypus.” Norm replied.

“Hey, when I have I ever failed against Dr. Doofenshmirtz?”

“Good point.”

Peter placed a hand on his shoulder. “I’m in. Let’s go.”

As the three agents prepared for their infiltration, Norm stomped out of the hiding spot, and made his way down Danville, stepping on anything in his pathway. The immense ruckus of his heavy stomping caused every single person to look up, practically growl, and begin running after Norm. The robot began to flee in the opposite direction, still smiling.

Once the coast was clear, the three agents jumped out and made their way up the air vent. They climbed up and over, following the path, until they came across movement from below them.

“There!” Perry whispered harshly. “He peered out of the air vent, watching Phineas and Ferb, plus Candace and their friends, Isabella, Buford, and Baljeet, working on some sort of rocket-like device. They weren’t the only ones, but it seemed they were alone on this specific floor. The room was absolutely huge. How on earth were they going to get in without being completely overtaken?

Lyla suddenly pointed forwards, to where the air vent wrapped around to the other side of the room, right above an emergency exit door. Perfect.

Perry shimmied that way, watching the boys from the corner of his eyes. It was strange, seeing them working on a project, but looking so lifeless and serious. He would get the old Phineas back. He would get everyone back.

The agents waited for a moment, then hopped out of the air vent, weapons drawn. Immediately, every single face in the room turned to look at them, including the boys and their friends. For a moment, there was dead silence as suppressed tension washed over the room.

And then everything was in complete chaos.


	42. Chapter 42

Lyla, Perry, and Peter all kicked, knocking three attackers back with ease. Then, the platypus lunged forward, and grabbed Phineas.

The triangle-headed boy growled, and struggled underneath Perry’s grip. The agent cursed under his breath, desperately trying to pull the kid forwards. But Phineas harshly bit him on the arm, causing the agent to let go and take a step backwards.

Lyla wasn’t having any luck with Candace, either. And compromised citizens of Danville were beginning to surround them.

“We can’t carry them!” She cried. “We have to lure them away!”

Perry nodded, and turned around, kicking down the emergency exit. The whole building began to flash red, causing another distraction. The three agents took the opportunity to run. Sure enough, Phineas and Ferb followed, arms outstretched, an enraged look on their face. Lyla, Peter, and Perry bolted towards the light, and fled out of the building. All of the people scurried after them, nostrils flaring.

“Where’s Norm?” Peter yelled.

“I have another idea!” Perry shouted back. “Follow me!”

  
Perry’s two partners looked dubious, but ran with him anything, crossing over the street and running in the other direction. Many of the people were unable to keep up with the fast agents, probably due to older age. But the younger crowd kept pushing, screaming after them for miles and miles.

Perry held up his communicator. “Norm! Norm! Where are you?”

No answer. They kept running, back towards the outskirts of the city. Lyla pushed a few citizens to the ground who were catching up. Perry had to dodge a couple punches. Exhaustion was creeping up on his muscles.

“Are we there yet?” Lyla screamed.

Perry squinted his eyes. He could see it.

He motioned for the girl to push forwards as they crossed another street. But just as they were about to reach it, Lyla tripped.

Immediately, the boys stopped and stooped down to help the girl up. She protested, pushing them forwards. Perry gasped; all of Danville was about to pounce on them, some with guns raised. He ducked, waiting for the impact, when a giant metal thud caused both him and Peter and Lyla to jump into the air. The dust cleared, and they looked up to see Norm on the ground, his robotic body blocking a hundred attackers, who were all unconscious against the concrete.

  
“Go, Norm!” Lyla cheered, getting up.

“Why, thank you. It was no problem.”

Perry darted up and grabbed his boys and their friends, dragging their unconscious bodies across the street. They probably wouldn’t be out long, unfortunately.

“Where are we?” Lyla gasped.

Perry pulled the boys forwards, when Peter ran out and met them. He concernedly handled one of their friends, picking up the poor child and carrying them through an open gate.

“What is this?” The female agent questioned.

“This is an O.W.C.A. holding facility.” Perry answered. He gulped. It seemed very wrong to take his precious kids to an O.W.C.A. prison, but he couldn’t think of any place safer. The criminals were all gone, the security abandoned. As long as he could trick out the security’s technology to keep Dr. Tecton out, there was no way the kids could escape once they woke up.”

The three adults locked the kids, as well as many other Danville civilians, in a cell, keeping them all separate from each other just in case. Once that was finished, Peter collapsed against one of the doors. “It’s a man house out there. I’m surprised we got out alive.”

“Thank Norm. He saved us.”

Norm was pacing the prison, clearly not listening, looking like a fish out of water.

“Anyway,” Peter sighed, “What’s the plan now?”

“Heinz. And Vanessa. And then we need to take O.W.C.A. headquarters back.” Perry answered determinedly.

Lyla raised an eyebrow. “How are you planning to do that?”

Perry grinned. “You know how O.W.C.A. has an emergency lockdown system that activates once a threat has been identified?”

The other two nodded.

“We just need to scare everyone out, then activate that lockdown. It’ll give us plenty of time to stash up on weapons for an attack. Maybe we can buy the FBI more time to figure out a cure.”

“That Dr. Whatchamacallhim will definitely be after us once we try that, eh?.” Lyla replied. “And I don’t see him being stopped, even by O.W.C.A.’s protective barriers.”

“She’s right, Perry. He’s probably looking for us as we speak.”

At that moment, the TV in the corner of the prison began to buzz and crackle. A deep evil laugh reverberated through the room. Perry gulped; Peter had spoken much too soon. 

Dr. Tecton’s face appeared on the screen, his face uncovered this time, standing on top of a building that overlooked Danville Mountain. He swung the camera around, selfie style, laughing until it focused.

“Hello, outsiders. Unfortunately, if you’re listening to this right now, it means I’m aware you’re here, and I’m going to annihilate you. All of you.” The villain paused. “But I have a very special score to settle with one Perry Michael.”

The camera then zoomed out of Dr. Tecton’s face, and into the background, where Heinz and Vanessa were tied to a pole, surrounded by dry wood and gasoline. Perry’s blood ran cold.

The two were gagged, but were struggling and screaming. Despite Dr. Tecton’s drug, they seemed to be aware what was going on.

“I want your surrender. If not..” He chuckled ominously. “They die. You have three hours. Think carefully.”

The screen hissed to black. Perry slammed his fist into the wall, suddenly filled with rage. He hated this.. thing that looked and sounded just like him, he hated-

“Whoa, whoa, Perry!” Peter grabbed his arm, and slightly shook his body. “We will save them. Both of them. I promise.”

“Dr. Tecton can’t possibly hold off all three of us.” Lyle smiled warily.

Perry sighed. “You don’t know what he’s capable of. I have to surrender.”

“What?” Lyla cried. 

“Dude, that’s insane. No way. We will figure this out.”

“Then what do you suggest?” The agent snapped.

“We do what we planned.” Peter replied determinedly. “We go to O.W.C.A. We get the weapons. Then we attack.”

Perry looked dubiously between the both of them, but finally nodded. His heart was still pounding, and he felt like he was going to be sick, but he knew they were right. If there was anything he was sure about in this whole mess, it was that his evil self wouldn’t let Heinz and Vanessa go so easily. The man was full of lies.

That thought made Perry even more sick.

After making sure the security had been updated, Perry crawled into Phineas and Ferb’s cell, and gave each of them a kiss on the forehead, whispering promises of safety. They looked so peaceful while unconscious. It made the platypus’s head spin.

Finally, the three headed out, using O.W.C.A. secret tunnels to once against maneuver around the city. They ran into a few compromised agents on the way, one of whom being Agent Pinky the Chihuahua. She tried to crack Perry’s neck and bite through his skull, but Perry was able to brush her off. Not without hurting the poor dog, however. He felt guilty, but didn’t check to see if she was okay.

The agents finally made it to O.W.C.A. headquarters. The building was guarded with twice as many agents, each on their stationed pathways. It didn’t even seem that they were allowed to blink. They just kept staring out into the open, at a complete standstill. It was strange to see animals so statutory.

“Your headquarters doesn’t happen to have an underground entrance, does it?” Lyla questioned.

“It does.” Peter sighed. “But I doubt it’s unguarded. What do we do? Blast our way through?”

“And hurt the poor, little agents??”

Perry crumbled. “I don’t like the idea any more than you do, but I don’t see another option here.”

“Just don’t do anything fatal.” Peter added.

“But-“

But the two male agents were already charing forwards. Lyla rolled her eyes, but followed, grappling hook drawn. Perry was in full agent mode, knocking back anyone and anything in his path. The agents stuck close, hoping to simply push forwards, but about half way to the building, it seemed there was just too many of them.

Perry growled as a pile of compromised animals jumped on top of him, clawing and scratching him, pushing him to the ground. Lyla jumped up and began to fight them off, but it only attracted more of the animals, weighing her down too.

The two were eventually able to break free, but not without quite a few scratches and a black eye. Peter ran up, and pointed towards the building. It seemed the animals were swarming from all directions.

Perry was about to pull out his blaster, when Peter grabbed his shoulder and pointed to his shoes.

Of course. The rocket boots.

Perry grabbed onto his arm, and Lyla did the same on Peter’s other side. They waited with bated breath as animal agents crawled closer and closer. Their growls and hisses were like an enormous crack of thunder.

Peter waited, then at just the right moment, activated the boots. Perry and Lyla screeched as their bodies were thrust into the air, but Peter gripped onto both of them. They floated above the crowd, flying freely towards headquarters.

Agent Emmy the Eagle darted from the skies, ready to bite, but Lyla was able to kick her off course.

Soon, they landed right by the front entrance.

Lyla gasped. “Hurry!”

Perry scanned his hat, and immediately, the entrance opened, allowing them in. Once the door shut, Peter and Lyla held it shut, while Perry pulled out his SIG and began shooting at the lobby. The building’s emergency systems kicked in, and giant metal walls fell down, trapping them inside. Eventually, the attacks of the agents died down.

“How long until the walls open?” Lyla begged.

“Thirty minutes. Plenty of time.”

“Well,” Perry sighed, “until that maniac comes after us.”

“Why do you suppose he’s targeting you, anyway?” Lyla questioned. “Why you, of all people? Did you piss him off?”

Perry shrugged. “You could say that.”

Lyla looked suspicious at his nonchalant answer, but didn’t say anything further. Unfortunately, the bulk of O.W.C.A. was completely ransacked, and all the immediate weapons were long gone. They decided to split up, and see what they could find.

Perry crawled along the upper floors, looking through drawers and cabinets for anything that might have been missed. As he dragged around the rooms, very disappointed, his eyes landed on a very familiar office.

Major Monogram. 


	43. Chapter 43

Perry had no trouble breaking open the door. Even though he knew it was a serious breach of boundaries, there would never be another chance like this again. And he was going to take it. Besides, he wouldn’t put it past the major to keep a secret stash of weapons in his office.

The platypus began searching. He pried open the drawers, and inspected each. They were mostly full of books and CDs. One of the drawers had been opened already, which Perry suspected used to have ammo in it. Looks like someone got here first.

Not satisfied, the agent turned his attention to the book shelves, and felt around the shelves, looking for any signs of a secret trap door. Despite the five minutes of searching, his results were dry. Frustrated, Perry crossed the room and felt around the filing cabinets and underneath the striped couch that sat opposite the desk.

The file cabinets were useless. But there was something fishy about the couch.

Perry’s hands felt a small loop just behind the couch’s back. He pulled it, and shouted in jubilation as a secret stash of pistols and ammo popped out, as well as a small medical kit and a tourniquet. Perfect.

Perry pocketed his treasure, and headed for the door, but something pulled him back into the room.

The agent cringed. This is a crime, agent. What are you thinking? But the temptation was too strong. Perry jumped back into the man’s chair, and opened his laptop. It was password protected, and encrypted, and Perry had a little trouble trying to bypass it. Carl had clearly set up the man’s computer. However, with a little effort, the agent was able to get past the security settings.

Major Monogram’s desktop looked like any other working man’s. He wasn’t very organized, with clutter ranging from important reports to screenshots of memes littering his work space. However, Perry easily pulled up an alphabetized list and began scanning through the data.

There was nothing mind-blowing. The agent was about to close the computer, his curiosity satisfied, when a file name popped out at him.

_MCM. Operation Cobra._

Now extremely curious, Perry clicked on the file. It, too was encrypted, far beyond anything Carl could manage to do. Perry wasn’t sure even he could crack it, but the agent gave it a shot.

A few minutes later, and he was finally in. Maybe Agent Pinky was rubbing off on him a bit too well. The agent pulled up the documents and began skimming.

He couldn’t believe what he read.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

“There you are, Perry!” Lyla smiled. “Where have you been?”

Perry shifted uncomfortably, but chose not to say anything about Major Monogram’s office. “I found some weapons.” He replied. “Three pistols and some ammo. But the upstairs was pretty much bare.”

“I’m surprised you found even that.” Peter shook his head. “I got a pocketknife, but nothing exciting. Lyla, on the other hand-“

“I found the jackpot!” She intervened. “Did you know that your headquarters had a weapons closet for code alpha red emergencies?”

Perry raised an eyebrow. “No.. I didn’t. What did you find?”

The assortment of weapons that Lyla placed in front of them was impressive. Perry wished he could take them all, but decided instead upon an upgraded blaster. Once they were carrying and ready, they walked over to the emergency exit.

“The doors will open any minute.” Perry whispered harshly. “Get ready!”

The three agents braced themselves, the hover-car they were crammed into idling and ready. Once the doors open, they pounded forward at full force, knocking the animals out of their way as they darted into the sky. The blaster felt confident in Perry’s hands. It was definitely an upgraded piece of tech.

Soon, they were out of most of the animal’s way, and far above where any compromised human could reach them.

“What do you think Dr. Tecton is planning anyway?” Lyla asked off-handedly. “I mean, there’s no way he can get very far, even with all of Danville on his side.”

“Revenge.” Perry and Peter both replied at the same time, before looking at each other, a little surprised.

Lyla raised an eyebrow. “There is definitely something neither of you are telling me.”

Perry glanced at Peter, but the panda wasn’t looking in his direction anymore. He shook his head and turned his attention back to the road.

“Well?” She pressed.

Peter sighed. “Look, it isn’t my story to tell.”

“That makes no sense.”

But Peter wasn’t saying another word. Lyla looked to Perry expectantly, but her eyes softened when she saw his embarrassed expression. “I’m sorry if he did something to you.” She said hesitantly, putting a hand on his shoulder. “I promise, we’ll get him.”  
Perry sighed. “You know, there’s a reason I don’t have a known life from before I started at O.W.C.A. I’m sorry, there’s just some things I wasn’t ready to tell you-”

Lyla’s eyes widened. “What are you saying?”

Perry briefly retold the story of what happened in Dr. Doofenshmirtz’s apartment. Thankfully, Lyla didn’t interrupt, and continued to pat his shoulder, even when he was finished. He cringed, waiting for her judgement. But nothing came.

Instead, the crazy girl.. laughed.

“And here I thought you used to be a drag queen or something. This doesn’t change anything, Perry.”

Perry smiled, relieved.

Peter guessed Dr. Tecton was probably still somewhere near the Mayor’s office, at the center of power. As the trio headed that direction, they noticed a seemingly alarming set of citizens gathering near the footsteps of the building. Not good.

As they grew closer, Perry’s eyes landed on Heinz. His heart began to race. Heinz looked absolutely terrified. They both did, but Vanessa seemed bent on not letting it show, simply glaring at Dr. Tecton every time he looked their way, despite the gag and restraints keeping them hostage.

“Let me approach first.” Peter said as they pulled forwards.

“Peter-“

“I mean it, Perry.” The panda sighed. “Get Heinz and Vanessa to safety.”

The platypus nodded. He and Lyla watched as Peter activated the rocket boots, and floated upwards, right behind where Dr. Tecton was flying around in his own rocket boots, another light saber in hand, this time glowing red, monologuing to the citizens that were gathered beneath him.

“You’ve put on quite the show, Doc.” Peter smirked from behind.

Dr. Tecton turned around. Perry watched as his face grew bright red with pure anger.

“But it’s game over.”

The evil scientist let out a long, low laugh. It grew from mildly amused to completely mad. Zachary lifted his light saber and pointed it straight at the agent. “Peter the Panda. My nemesis. I’m sorry to see you so well. Of course, I’m glad you’re here. I’m going to have fun breaking you.”

Peter chuckled in return, and lifted his blaster. “Then come and get me.”

Dr. Tecton growled, and darted towards the agent, completely forgetting about his hostages. As Peter flew backwards, distracting the doctor, Perry took the opportunity to jump up and grab onto the building. He climbed his way up to Heinz, whose eyes lit up as soon as the platypus pulled up to him.

Perry ribbed off Vanessa’s gag, and then did the same to Heinz.

“You’re alright.” Heinz breathed.

Perry smiled, and cut loose the ropes. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”

At this point, Lyla had jumped onto the building and helped Vanessa into the hover-car. However, as Perry held out a hand to help the teenager in, a blast shot both of them backwards, and damaged one of the car’s engines.

“Don’t think you’re going to get away that easy!” Dr. Tecton cried. “We had a deal!”

“Psycho!” Perry screamed, lifting his blaster and shooting at the man. However, the scientist managed to dodge every blow, and punched Perry in the face, sending him backwards. Peter, thankfully, was able to catch him and lower him to the ground, before turning around and landed more attacks on the villain.

“You fools!” Dr. Tecton laughed. “You can’t win!”

Peter smirked and blaster forwards in his rocket boots, going straight for the man’s neck, which Perry knew was a weak spot of his. The man gargled in rage as he swung his light saber around. The two tumbled backwards in the air.

Lyla lowered the hover-car and let Perry back in. However, with the four of them on board, the now-single engine could only keep up with so much weight. They began to sink back down to the ground. Frustrated, Perry pulled out his grappling hook, and swung over to the next building.

Dr. Tecton began shooting at him. Perry felt the energy hit him in the stomach, and he cried out in tremendous pain. Zachary fluttered over him, ready to swing the light saber, when the evil scientist was pushed into the air. Perry looked up to see Heinz in front of him, triumphantly raising his fists in the air.  
“HA! Beat that!”

“Heinz?”

“Come on.” The doctor helped him up. “Let’s get out of here!”

The two were about to jump back into the hover-car, when Peter came crashing down, hitting the side of the building, badly injured. Perry gasped. Dr. Tecton held out his light saber, ready for the final strike, when Peter rolled over, dodging it, and kicked the man straight in the crotch. Dr. Tecton wheezed in pain.

Suddenly, the air began to whirl. Perry looked up to see a giant helicopter begin to hover over the area. FBI agents flooded onto the scene, each carrying a loaded rifle. They shot at the evil scientist, hitting him in the side and arm. Dr. Tecton scowled, knowing he was too injured to continue fighting, and teleported out of the area.

Perry saluted to the men who landed on the building. One lifted his helmet and reached out to shake Perry’s hand.

“Agent Barker. FBI. We heard you needed backup.”

The platypus beamed. “Thank you. You were just in time.”

“We have developed the cure. Our team has already begun administering it to the people below. We should have the drug annihilated in just a few hours.”

Perry saluted again. “Do you think I could have a sample? I have some civilians that need it..”

Agent Barker handed him a small case with two vials. “Be my guest. Although that terrorist is still at large. It would be wise if you were assisted-“

“I’m coming.” Peter smiled.

“Me too!” Lyla volunteered.

Agent Barker raised an eyebrow, but didn’t argue. He instead saluted to the three agents, and continued down with the rest of his team. Now that the area was secure, Perry turned his attention to Doofenshmirtz, who was watching the scene with a mixture of uncertainty and awe.

The platypus didn’t even know what he was thinking. He immediately grabbed the man in a hug and pulled him in for a kiss. Their lips touching was like lightning to the platypus, who couldn’t seem to find it in him to let go.

Heinz seemed in shock at first, but almost immediately, something broke within the scientist, and he kissed back with the same about of fever.

They lingered there for a moment, savoring the feeling, until Perry let go and looked deep into the man’s eyes, blushing.

“Wow.” Doofenshmirtz commented, grinning from ear to ear. “I thought you didn’t-“

“Are you kidding?” Perry cried, still gripping onto the man’s shoulders. “I can’t live without you.”

“If you both are done sucking face..” Vanessa smirked, coming up behind them and hugging them both, “We have a job to do.”

The two blushed but didn’t make another comment. Perry, Heinz, Vanessa, Peter, and Lyla gratefully hopped into one of the FBI’s police cars and raced as fast as they could to O.W.C.A.’s prison facility, where Phineas and Ferb and their friends were locked up.

_Please, boys, just be okay._

 


	44. Chapter 44

When the five returned to the prison, they found the six children slamming their fists against the wall, clearly feeling the same anger and pain that Dr. Tecton was feeling. The agents got to work grabbing onto to each civilian and administering the cure.

It took a moment, but finally, Phineas’s eyes began to flutter. Perry grinned when the boy began to stir in his arms.

“Do I.. Do I know you?”

Perry sighed. “Not very well. But it’s okay. You’re safe. My name’s Perry. You remember me and my partner, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, right?”

Phineas blinked, but managed to focus on the scientist, who waved. “Oh.. yes. I do. Thank you. Hey, where’s my step brother??”

“Not to worry.” Perry replied. “Ferb is here. And safe too. It’s all going to be okay.”

“What happened?”

Perry frowned. He wasn’t sure how much he could tell. But there was no point in trying to hide it from the boy; if not today, he was soon enough find out what happened to Danville.

“An evil man tried to take over the Tri-State Area.” The platypus explained slowly. “He poisoned everyone in the city. But it’s okay. The FBI are here, and they are making sure everyone is cured.”

“And the evil man? Is he in prison?”

Perry hesitated. “Not yet. But we are after him.”

“Can I see my brother?”

Perry nodded and helped lift the boy to his feet. Phineas was a little wobbly, but managed to climb out of the prison cell into the hallway. He was greeted by Ferb, Candace and his friends, who all piled around him, giving him a group hug. Perry couldn’t help but smile. That was the family he knew and loved.

Suddenly, Phineas turned around and gave Perry a bear hug. The agent hesitated for a moment, before leaning down and returning it.

“Thank you for saving my friends.” He whispered.

“Where are Mom and Dad?” Candace cried frantically.

“Don’t worry.” Perry reassured the children. “I promise, everyone will be safe. The FBI is making sure of it. But they want everyone in Danville to exit the city until the area has been cleared. You’ll find your parents there.”

Perry cracked his knuckles behind his back, thinking. Despite the major victory the good guys had just won, he knew there was no way Dr. Tecton was going to disappear, unless he confronted his fear. He had to end this.

Heinz seemed to notice the platypus’s gaze, and lightly tapped him on the shoulder. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” Perry sighed. The man’s smile was intoxicating. He wished he could live with that smile every day. “I just.. I have to finish him. I have to.”

Heinz sighed. “Let me come with you.”

“I have to do it alone.”

“Perry-“

“Plus, I need someone I trust to make sure my boys and their friends make it to the safe house. Can you do that? Please?”

Heinz nodded vigorously. “You can trust me.”

Perry muttered, “Thank you.” and stole another sweet kiss on the man’s cheek, before turning to Peter and Lyla.

“Perry, we have a major problem.” Lyla sighed.

The platypus raised an eyebrow.

“That rocket we witnessed.. well, I had my team run a few scans, and..” She held up her portable device with blueprints from the scans. Perry’s mouth dropped.

“Wait, what’s wrong?” Peter questioned.

Lyla sighed. “This rocket is filled with the drug. If I’m not mistaken, Dr. Tectonny, or whatever his name is, is going to shoot it into the ocean and poison the entire planet’s water system!”

“I’m going after him. I’m going to finish him. For good.” Perry cried.

The two agents began to argue with Perry, but he shot them both down. “It has to be me. He’s injured. I’ll use that to my advantage. Heinz is going to take the children to safety.”

“Wait.” Lyla suddenly gasped. “That’s perfect. If you keep him distracted, then maybe we can dismantle the rocket before it’s launched.”

“Perfect!” Peter cried. “We have to contact the FBI. Now.”

Perry shook Peter’s hand and gave both Lyla and Vanessa a brief hug. Peter took off the rocket boots and offered them to the man, who gratefully put them on. His family waved to him as he flew off into the glistening summer afternoon.

Family. His family.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Perry expected his evil self to be hiding out at city hall. The building stood undisturbed, contrasting to the tortured and destructed city blocks around it. The agent didn’t waste any time kicking down the front door and walking forward, his blaster pointed forwards. Upon entering, he checked all corners before moving his way down the hall.

Strange. Where was all the security?

Suddenly, something caught Perry’s eye. Small blood splatters led a trail up the staircase and into the higher offices. Assuming they were from evil self’s bullet wounds, the agent followed them.

They stopped at a closed door at broad double doors located at the end of the upper hallway. Rodger Doofenshmirtz’s name was blazed in gold above the threshold. Perry cautiously touched the handles, and hissed when they ferociously shocked him.

Grunting, the agent holstered his blaster and pulled out the blue light saber he’d stolen. The blade cut smoothly through the hinges and wasn’t affected by the raw energy. Once the door fell to the ground, Perry held the saber forward and continued his investigation.

The room was empty. Unfortunately, the blood trail stopped, meaning Dr. Tecton had probably cleaned up his wounds here. The small bullet casings and bloodied tools on the desk confirmed his thoughts.

Perry activated his communicator. “I lost the trail.” He sighed. “Any luck?”

“We’ve infiltrated the rocket but the controls are proving difficult.” Peter replied. “Don’t worry, though. All of the agency’s best are working on it.”

Perry sighed. If he were wounded and on the verge of defeat, where would he disappear to? The platypus pondered for a second, before it hit him. He’d go a place he thought was safe. He’d go home.

“Guys, I think Dr. Tecton is leaving Danville.”

“That’s impossible.” Lyla replied. “The whole city is under surveillance.”

“For all I know he’s built a cloaking device. He’s headed towards Seattle.”

“Are you absolutely sure?”

“Yes. Is there a way to track him?”

“Maybe.” Peter answered. “Give me a minute.”

Perry had already used the rocket boots to take to the skies when Peter texted him back with a link to the moving GPS coordinates. Sure enough, his evil self was flying a few miles outside of the city, heading west. Perry kicked the boots into full gear and sped up after him.

The man was using an invisibility device to keep himself hidden from the FBI, who were now behind them. Perry zoomed, light saber in hand, after his evil self, and let out a full swing.

Dr. Tecton swerved, and his invisibility crashed.

“Going somewhere?” Perry smirked.

The evil scientist growled. “Ah, no stupid O.W.C.A. agents to back you up? Don’t you remember what I did to you the last time we fought?”

“I’m not afraid of you.”

“Sure you are. You can’t even stand to be around me.” The scientist crossed his arms. “But.. it doesn’t have to be this way. Surely a small part of you wants the power and wealth we so desperately crave. We can make our dreams a reality again.”

“And don’t you remember the last time we enacted on that fantasy?” Perry barked.

“Ah, Seattle. It was in our hands. And then you had to have a sudden change of heart. I’ll never forgive Peter the Panda for permanently thwarting what should have been our victory!”

Perry hovered forwards. “I’m going to stop you.”

Dr. Tecton chuckled. “Go ahead. But we both know you won’t win. Because no matter how hard you try to forget, or how many years you wear that atrocious fedora, you are too delicate to face the truth. You’re a monster. And that’s all you’ll ever be.”

Furious, Perry opened the light saber and lunged. However, his evil self was too quick and blocked the attack with his own. Suddenly, both parties were flying about in their rocket boots, enacting a full on light saber battle.

They swung with full force, hit after hit after hit, but each time, their matched strengths only repelled and ended with both of them flying back. However, the severe gleam in Zachary’s eyes was enough to tell Perry this wasn’t ending without finishing it permanently.

The agent recanted with every trick he could think of, dodging, swinging, and fighting.

He pulled out his blaster and began to shoot. Dr. Tecton jumped around every bullet and swung the light saber again. The blades clicked and hissed in agony. Perry felt the heat around his face and neck as he tried pushing the man’s saber off of his. They crashed into the sides of buildings and trees.

Dr. Tecton finally had enough, and kicked Perry in the chest, sending the agent to the ground. The platypus was only partially able to break his fall, and collapsed on the sidewalk with a painful groan.

The evil scientist landed, and held the light saber up to Perry’s neck. “I had hoped we could reconcile. But you’re weak.”

“This is not who you are.” Perry cried desperately. “You are not a monster. You’re hurt. And scared. And angry. And I understand.”

“At least I’m powerful.” The man growled.

Perry began scooting back as his enemy stepped closer. “Power will never fill that hole in your heart.” He breathed. “There really are good people out there who love you. Like Lyla. And Peter. And Heinz. And Phineas and Ferb..”

“They don’t love you.” The evil scientist smirked. “If they knew the real monster you are, they’d run as fast as they can.”

“Heinz didn’t. Peter didn’t.”

“They will eventually. They always do.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Nobody will ever love you, Perry. I thought we’d finally established that. Power is much better. Then nobody will ever hurt us again. Lyla, Peter, Heinz, Phineas and Ferb.. They will only hurt you in the end. Let me save you.”

Perry shook his head. “You’re weak for not trying.”

“Well.. good thing I’m making the decisions then, huh? Say goodbye, weakest link.”

Dr. Tecton had his saber raised, and kicked Perry’s out of his reach. The agent winced as the evil scientist swung the saber to release the final blow.

However, before Perry could feel the heat, a single gun shot fired. After a second, the agent looked up to see his evil self collapsed on the ground, bleeding from his chest. Perry then set his gaze higher. A man stood before him, a Glock in his hand. Perry opened his mouth to thank his savior, when he blinked as the gun was now pointed at his forehead.

“Major Monogram?..”


	45. Chapter 45

Silence. Perry blinked, astonished.

His boss had the gun pointed directly at him, and was staring at him with a look the agent had never seen on him before. It was blank, determined, and chilling.  
However, as Perry’s mind raced, he started to put the pieces together. The agent laughed, long and sarcastically as he lifted himself off the ground. “Come to finish the job, Francis?”

“This isn’t what it looks like. I don’t want to shoot you, Agent P. I’m sorry.”

Perry growled. “Then don’t shoot.”

The man didn’t say anything, simply cocked the gun and held it straighter. Perry held up his hands. “Whoa, now, can we just talk about this?”

“I..” The man’s voice cracked. “I’m sorry.” His hands were slightly shaking. The gun vibrated.

Perry bit his lip. “It doesn’t have to be this way.”

“Just shut up, agent.” The man barked with a sudden volume that made Perry’s heart jump. “Do you have any last words?”

The platypus’s eyes widened. He felt his heart begin to race, and anger stir up in his mind. “Well if you’re going to shoot me, I at least want a few of my questions answered.”

“Like?”

“Like the fact that you’ve known I’m human for quite a few years now. You’ve known my real name is Zachary Tecton.” The platypus-turned-human snarled.

Silence.

“My question is, why didn’t you report it? You have a known, dangerous evil scientist, one whom everyone thinks is dead, actually, roaming the halls of your precious agency undercover, and you don’t report it? You do nothing? I find that very odd.. Of course, until I looked further into Operation Cobra.”

More silence. The major’s eyes began to dilate. Obviously, the man had no idea Perry had gone through his files. “Listen, Agent P, I can explain.”

“Well, you better start. Because I’m just beginning.”

“I.. Look, I know you have a past. But I also know that you are extremely talented. I was waiting for you to just come to me..”

“Just come to you? Are you even listened to yourself right now?” Perry cried out, slamming his fist onto the ground.

“Perry-“

“No, you listen to me!” The man screamed. “I know that you were my father’s nemesis! I also know that you were jealous of my mother for loving my father instead of you!”

“Agent P.”

“So then.. So then.. You kill her?” Perry screamed. His eyes were alight with fire.

“I didn’t-“

“For years, I believed it was my own father who killed her! And here you are, trying to cover your tracks! And you have the galls to tell me I should’ve come to you!”

“Shut up!” Major Monogram waved the gun around in anger. But he took a deep breath. “I didn’t intentionally kill your mother, Perry. Your father.. He would always taunt me with winning her over. When I found out she’d given birth to his child, I just lost it. I meant to get him, but she got in the way. If only she hadn’t gotten in the way..” The man’s voice cracked.

“So then, you fried my father’s brain and obscured evidence to make it look like he did it. Yeah, real sorry. And all for a job, huh?”

“What was I supposed to do?” The major snapped. “Your father was the real monster. Look what he did to you.”

“You’re right. He was a monster. And I guess so am I.” Perry’s face wrinkled with disgust. “I did everything I could to convince you. That I was loyal. That I had changed. That I am sorry.” The man stepped forward. Francis winced. “And I thought I had, too. Do you really hate me so much, major?”

Silence again. He could have cut a knife through the thickness of the tension.

“That you had to have me killed?”

Francis snapped. “I never-“

“Please. I know you anonymously tipped off Dr. Gevaarlijk about who I was. I guess killing me yourself was just too hard, huh? You had to try to convince a bunch of evil scientists to do your dirty work for you. Is it because of your job, Francis? Or is it because you see my mother’s eyes every time you look at me?”

By this point, Perry was so close to his boss’s face, the pointed gun was softly touching his chest. Major Monogram stared back into the agent’s eyes. The guilt was plastered all over his face. For a moment, his life flashed before his eyes.

Perry could visibly see the mental battle raging inside the man’s mind. But despite a few agonizing seconds of tension, the man pressed the gun even closer to Perry’s chest. “I have my own family to protect. This secret dies with you. I’m sorry.”

But before the man could pull the trigger, Perry kicked him in the knees, sending the man sprawling, and the gun skating across the ground. Both men glanced at each other for a second, before both of them lunged for the weapon. Fortunately, Perry was quicker, and was able to wrap his hands around the gun. However, Francis’s strength was too severe, and the man was able to wrangle it from his grasp.

Not without a fight, though. Perry forcefully bit the man’s arm and managed to pummel him off his chest. Major Monogram held up the gun again, ready to shoot, but Perry had somehow ducked around a building and began running.

“Hey, Perry, you there?”

Peter. The platypus activated the communicator. “Kinda busy. What is it?”

“We got the rocket offline. But it looks like somehow has already hacked into it and seized control. It’s starting to countdown! What’s going on?”

Perry panted. “Dr. Tecton is dead. But I think I know who else is in control.”

“He’s dead? Wait, who?”

“Major Monogram. Ask questions later. Just see if you can dismantle that rocket!”

Perry used his rocket boots to jump into the air. They were now just a few feet from the outside of Danville. He could see FBI agents just beyond the harbor that surrounded the city. Perry went to fly over to them, but bullets began firing. One just barely missed his shoulder, singing his t-shirt. Perry growled and powered forward, but the next bullet hit him in the leg. The agent cried in immense pain, trying to keep the rocket boots steady. However, without his strength, they began to become unbalanced, and sent him to the ground.

Blood dripped down his leg. Perry forced himself to stop from screaming. The pain was unbearable.

Major Monogram approached him, sweating and panting, but still holding the gun to his head. “That was a bad idea.” He spat.

“Dismantle the rocket.” Perry shouted. “Dismantle it now!”

“Don’t worry, I’m not really going to hurt anyone.” The major shrugged. “I don’t want to take over the world, unlike your kind. I just want to protect my family. And if that means using a bit of mind control here and there, I don’t see why it should be a problem.”

“They’ll stop you.”

“And who will they listen to? You? An evil scientist and a terrorist that should’ve been locked away for the rest of his life for what he’s done?”

Perry growled. He was beginning to get light-headed. He activated the communicator. “Help! Please!”

“Don’t think about it.” The man sighed. “You’ll be dead before they reach you.”

The agent felt his muscles growing weak. There was no way he could travel in his condition. He had no weapons. The pain was unbearable. Anger pulsed through his veins. In a last attempt, he forced himself to stand and lunge at the man, but Francis punched him in the face, sending him to the ground once more.

Perry knew he was defeated. He groaned, flopped to the ground.

_Forgive me, Heinz. I love you._

“Then please just make it quick.” The agent gasped. “And tell Peter the Panda that I’m sorry I couldn’t make it to his daughter’s play.”

Major Monogram raised an eyebrow, but said nothing further. With a nod, he held up the gun and cocked it.

He fired the shot.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Vanessa jumped awake. She looked to her left, and her right, and sighed, grateful to see her mother in the bed next to her.

Nightmare. It was just a nightmare.

They were now located in a safe house just outside of Danville’s borders. FBI surrounded the entire area, guarding against attackers of any kind. Her dad was in the room next door, probably sound asleep.

She briefly wondered what was going on in Danville at this very moment. How were the agents doing? Who was winning? What was going on?

She hadn’t heard from Orville, or any of his gang, although she knew she was probably going to hear from them any day now. Gripping the sheets, Vanessa sank her head back into her pillow and tried to shut her eyes.

It was going to be a long few days.


	46. Chapter 46

Heinz had waited with Phineas and Ferb and the other children for hours, praying to any god or sentient being that might exist that Perry would just come home okay. The FBI wasn’t very helpful, frustratingly. They continued to reassure Heinz that everything was under control, but he could tell by the sudden burst of movement that something wasn’t right.

Phineas and Ferb stayed close to their parents, but continued to come over and ask him questions about his inventions, and how to build this and that. Honestly, it was a nice distraction. But it couldn’t stop the racing of the scientist’s heart.

At least Vanessa was okay. Heinz couldn’t stop looking at and hugging his baby girl. For the first time in forever, he and Vanessa and Charlene were getting along, standing together as a family, happy that everyone was safe and sound. Being kidnapped by that freak had been scary, especially when he’d woken up to feel Vanessa tied and gagged next to him. Heinz hadn’t felt that helpless since his childhood.

As evening approached, there was a rush of vehicles through the safe houses. Heinz looked up from his game of chess with Vanessa to see three ambulances pass by. His throat tightened.

“I’m sure it’s not Perry.” Vanessa put a hand on his shoulder, trying to reassure him. “Perry’s a suave, semi-aquatic personification of unstoppable, dynamic fury, remember?”

The comment made Heinz smile, but it did nothing to comfort him.

Three hours passed. By that time, Vanessa and Charlene were fast asleep. Heinz lay awake, staring at the ceiling and thinking. The sudden ringing of his cell phone startled him, and he immediately jumped up to answer.

“Hello?”

“Hey.. Dr. Doofenshmirtz. It’s Peter the Panda.”

The man raised an eyebrow. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s Perry. We’re at the hospital in the next city over. I’d suggest you come down. Quickly.”

All of Heinz’s worst thoughts began playing at forced speeds at the forefront of his mind. Without missing a beat, he grabbed his jacket and keys, left a note for Vanessa, and hurried out of the door.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

When the man arrived, he found Peter and Lyla and Carl the intern in the waiting area. He rushed forward, but Peter grabbed his shoulder, holding him back.

“What happened?” The evil scientist cried.

“He was shot.” The panda replied glumly. “He’s in emergency surgery now.”

“Shot? By who?”

“The last time we talked, Perry said something about Major Monogram being the one to take over the rocket that was about to launch. We don’t know if it was really him, but O.W.C.A. superiority is looking into it.”

Heinz nodded and collapsed into the seat next to Lyla Lolliberry, who smiled sweetly at him and patted his knee. Carl didn’t make eye contact, simply stared into his twisting hands.

Francis Monogram? Heinz thought drastically. I’ll _kill_ the bastard!

The man stewed in his vengeful thoughts, if only just to distract himself from his extreme anxiety. Minutes passed, then hours. Lyla had gone to the cafeteria and brought back some food, but no one seemed very hungry. The waiting was almost unbearable. Heinz thought he was going to go mad with worry, when finally, a nurse came out to the waiting room.

“It’s okay, everyone. He’s going to make it.”

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Perry inhaled a whiff of something chemical, and vaguely recalled hearing soft voices around him. Light flooded into his eyes, and he cringed, quickly shutting them again and trying to shift his body.

The pain was immediate. Perry groaned, settling back into the soft bed underneath him. For a moment, he allowed himself to slowly wake, readjusting his eyes to the sudden light.

That’s when he noticed a familiar face leaning over him.

“H.. Heinz?”

“Hey.”

Perry cautiously moved his arm and pawed at Heinz, only settling down when he felt the man’s soft hand squeeze his own.

“It’s okay.” The scientist murmured. “I’m right here.”

Finally, Perry was able to focus his vision on the man in front of him. He smiled, before slowly taking in his surroundings. He was definitely in a hospital room, covered in sheets and bandages. His whole body ached. Only then did he notice the morphine drip attached to his arm. The platypus groaned as memories flooded him. The fight. Major Monogram. The bullets.

“What happened?” Perry croaked.

Heinz shifted and held a glass of water to his lips. Perry tried to lift his arm to take it, but Heinz shook his head and stubbornly held the cup of water. Sighing, Perry relented and took a grateful sip.

“You were shot.” Heinz stated. “We found you bleeding out on the ground..”

“Major Monogram..”

“Has been arrested.” Heinz finished. “FBI chased him down to this city before tackling him.” The evil scientist sighed. “He told O.W.C.A. everything. About your human identity, about us, about Dr. Tecton, and said you tried to kill him in order to cover your own ass.”

“That bitch.” Perry coughed. “I guess I’m fucked.”

“At least you have friends.” Another voice interjected.

Perry smiled as Peter stepped into the room and settled down in a chair next to Heinz. “How are you feeling, partner?”

“Like I just got shot.”

Peter chuckled. “Sounds about right. Look, don’t you two worry about Major Monogram. I can’t promise there won’t be consequences, but your friends will do everything we can. That bastard won’t get away with what he did.”

Perry smiled down at his hand, which was still tightly locked with Heinz’s. The evil scientist caught his gaze, and they both blushed.

Lyla burst into the room, gushing. “‘ello, Perry! I brought you some flowers, and C.O.W.C.A. sent over this huge gift basket full of snacks!”

Perry chuckled as Lyla put the basket down and ran over to give him a gentle hug.

“Oh, and there are some little friends that wish to see you. The nurse said it was okay. Want to see them?”

Perry nodded emphatically. Soon, Lyla reappeared with Phineas and Ferb, who immediately jumped onto the bed and gave Perry sloppy hugs.

“Careful, boys.” Remarked Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher, who followed a few seconds later.

“Sorry, Mom. We’re so glad you’re okay, Dr. Perry!”

Dr. Perry? Dear Lord..

“Thank you for saving my children’s lives.” Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher smiled, putting a card and a bowl of something that smelled heavenly next to his bed. “We will forever be grateful.”

Perry’s eyes wandered across the entire room at all the people there to support him, and squeezed his finger’s around Heinz’s hand, feeling Heinz return the sentiment. This week had been the craziest of his life. And it definitely wasn’t over. O.W.C.A. was about to have his ass, he knew it, but for a moment, he allowed the euphoric feeling to wash over him.

For the first time, he knew, that these people really did love him. They wouldn’t leave him.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

A couple hours later, a few human O.W.C.A. authorities stepped into the room, and ordered everyone else out. Perry sleepily nodded comfortingly to Heinz, who looked as if he was about to argue. Reluctantly, the man stepped out of the room.

Perry turned to the officers. They stood by the foot of his bed and activated a portable recorder.

“This is Agent T. of O.W.C.A. special forces, on August 11th, 2017, speaking to one Dr. Zachary Tecton, also known as Perry Michael, also known as former Agent Perry the Platypus, or Agent P.”

Perry sighed. This was going to be a long interview.

“First, please state for the record your date of birth.”

“November 1, 1982.”

“Excellent. Now, we know who you really are.” The special forces agent settled into a chair by his bed and looked Perry deep in the eyes. “Were you, or were you not, responsible for the destruction of Seattle in 2010?”

“I.. Yes. But I-“

“And were you also responsible for the break-in of O.W.C.A. headquarters and stealing of forbidden and sensitive O.W.C.A. files?”

“Yes.”

“Did you act alone?”

“Yes.”

“Are you sure?”

Perry narrowed his eyes. “I work alone.”

The agent sighed. “So how are you still alive, doctor? The last we heard, your body was buried at the bottom of the ocean.”

“I faked my death using a synthesized formula of my own creation. It made me appear dead for a time. Once the coast was clear, I made my escape.”  
That wasn’t entirely the truth. Perry had been almost as good as dead, if not for Peter, who pulled him to safety and saved his life. Only after that fact did they concoct the plan to fake Perry’s death.

“Why did you do it?”

The agent gulped. “I didn’t want to be that man anymore.”

“But you still chose to escape punishment, and thereby, evade the law?”

Perry narrowed his eyes. “I’m done talking. I want a lawyer.”

“Actually, I think that’s enough of the questions.”

Perry looked up to see another man, tall with big, broad shoulders step into the room. He wore a decorated uniform, and was dusted dan. He was definitely a military man. Perry respectfully saluted to him as the man stood at the foot of Perry’s bed.

“Turn that recorder off, Agent T. And toss it in the nearest river.”

“But, sir-“

“President’s orders.”

“Yes, sir.”

The agent took the device and quickly slipped out of the room. Perry’s eyes widened as the military man seated himself in the same chair and let out a long sigh. “I’m going to be honest, agent. This whole scenario is a mess. Not only do we have to explain this debacle to the government, but we have to contain it from spreading somehow. Thankfully, all of Danville’s internet is shut down, or we’d already be stuck.”

“But-“ He continued before Perry could speak, “we know it isn’t entirely your fault. Rest assured, we found the evidence you discovered against Major Monogram’s case, and have scheduled him a trial. His murderous, manipulating, scheme concocting days are as good as over.”

“Thank you, Sir.” Perry nodded gratefully. “I take it I’ll be arrested shortly?”

“About that.” The man smiled. “I have a proposition for you. While, yes, your past transgressions, both from years prior and from earlier this summer, could not go unnoticed or unpunished. However, a man of your talents is quite rare, and the President himself would like you to take on a special sort of job. If the job goes successfully, you’ll be allowed to return to your life and your job without repercussions.”

Perry raised an eyebrow. “What kind of job?”

“It’s an undercover assignment. The FBI has been unsuccessful thus far. But you have quite an unusual set of skills. I won’t lie to you, however. There’s a good chance you won’t make it out in all one piece, or even at all.”

“And if I decline?”

“Then we have no choice but to arrest you. I’d like to say that the people of the world would be grateful for your unchallenged sense of duty, and the fact that you’ve saved all their lives, but I can’t be so sure of that. I’m almost certain you’d be subjected to life in prison, if not worse. But it’s your choice. Just think about it.”

Perry nodded and saluted to the man. He handed Perry his card, suggesting the man e-mail him his answer, and sauntered out of the room.


	47. Chapter 47

A week later, Perry was finally cleared to leave the hospital. Heinz immediately promised he’d drive Perry home. Peter gave him a high-five and Lyla embraced him with a big hug. Phineas and Ferb also waved goodbye as the family continued with the rest of the civilians back to a Dr. Tecton free Danville.

Vanessa would be staying with her mom for a couple weeks to help her mother rearrange the house, so Perry asked Heinz if he could stay with him at his apartment instead of his own place. Heinz readily agreed.

Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc. was a mess when they arrived. Both Heinz and Norm had busied themselves over the week cleaning up the broken bits of rubble, and for the most part, it looked a lot better. But the doctor grumbled at the gaping holes in his wall where the outdoor patio sat that he still had to fix.

Perry was still feeling very stiff and sore, but he managed to settle in fine. Doofenshmirtz showed him a guest bedroom he hadn't used in years.

“I had it all cleaned out, too.” Heinz remarked proudly. “Can you believe how much stuff one person can accumulate over the years? It’s insane!”

Perry gratefully landed on the bed and took in a deep breath. “Thanks for letting me stay, Heinz.”

The evil scientist blushed. “No problem. Want to make some dinner, then watch a movie?”

Perry smiled. “Sounds perfect.”

Although Doofenshmirtz was behind on groceries, the two managed to pull a few usable ingredients from the fridge and create a chicken pasta with Alfredo sauce. They sat at the table, eating silently, sneaking little glances at each other here and there.

Perry was about to open his mouth to tell Heinz something, when the man suddenly spit out his food and burst into an uproar. “Hey! I forgot to say something! I didn’t know Peter the Panda is your ex-nemesis! Why didn’t you tell me??”

Perry blushed. “Considering our history, I just didn’t want any drama..”

“Why’d he thwart my evil scheme in Seattle then?”

Perry sighed. “He’s been having trouble with his nemesis. He wanted to know how you are and I are. Why we get along so well. Really, I think he didn’t mean to intrude.”

Heinz burst out laughing. “He was so embarrassed when I questioned him about it. He said you were quite evil back in the day.” Heinz teased.

Perry chuckled. “I will defeat that bastard, one day.” Finally, the agent put down his fork. “By the way, I’m being hired for a new job.”

Heinz slowly set his fork down and looked at Perry with a raised eyebrow. “Wait, what new job?”

“President’s request. I took it because otherwise, they were going to arrest me and send me to court.”

“What kind of job is it?”

“Undercover work. That’s all they said. I leave as soon as I recover.”

“For how long?”

Perry shrugged sadly. “I don’t know, D.”

Silence. Perry waited for Heinz to break the tension first, but it seemed the man was having just as hard a time processing it. Finally he took a last bite of dinner and pushed his plate away.

“And after?”

“Then I’m free.”

The idea sounded strange to Perry. He hadn’t felt well and truly free, from anything in his past, in a very, very long time. The thought was amazingly tempting.

“Well, I have.. an idea?” Doofenshmirtz smiled sheepishly.

“What idea?”

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently.”

Perry chuckled. “Uh, oh.”

“Shut up! Anyway, I’ve decided that I’m going to give up evil.”

Perry almost spit out his last bite of chicken. The man stared at Heinz was a gaping look. Was the man serious?

“You.. are?”

“Yeah.” Heinz smiled. “I wasn’t getting anywhere with my evil career. I guess, I’ve just come to realize that there are other goals worth pursuing in my life. I’ve sent over my paperwork and application and everything. And guess what? I was accepted!”

“You were?”

“Yeah!” The scientist jumped. “I start training this fall!”

“That’s great news, Heinz!” And Perry really meant it. He couldn’t believe that Heinz would actually do something like this, but it made the agent’s heart sing. He only hoped he could get through this mission and be able to help the man through this weird transition.

“So while you’re on your mission, I’ll be training, and then eventually, we can work together!”

Perry smiled and stood to give the man a gentle kiss on the forehead. He chuckled as the man started blushing, and picked up their plates.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

The two were settled on the couch, watching a cheesy romance movie, stuffing their faces with popcorn. They were cuddled on the very right side, holding hands, Perry’s head resting against Heinz’s chest, listening to his heartbeat.

  
Suddenly, Heinz paused the movie and looked down.

“And you’re sure you’re okay with this?”

Perry’s eyebrows furled, but he grinned, immediately locking lips with the man in a gentle, soothing kiss. “Does that answer your question?”

Heinz blushed and looked down at their intertwined hands, before squeezing Perry closer and replaying the movie, satisfied. Perry let the noises of the movie and the sound of Heinz’s heartbeat loll him into a deep sleep.

There’d be more challenges ahead, but for the moment, Perry was well and truly happy.

And he wouldn’t change it for the world.


	48. Epilogue

Six Months Later

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Perry the platypus was dead. At least, to the Flynn-Fletchers, it appeared that way. The family hadn’t heard or seen from their dearly loved pet in months, and had finally had to face the truth; their pet was probably never returning.

Of course, it broke Perry’s heart to make them think that, especially when he heard the cries of his boys for their platypus. But for the first time, it was nice to just be himself, and not have to worry about the two identities crashing. Human. Well and truly human.

And thankfully, Phineas and Ferb were beginning to have a new relationship with him. He and Heinz didn’t mind the two boys, or their family, coming over for dinner and hanging out. Vanessa and Candace got to chat, the adults enjoyed talking about the newest updates on the city, and Phineas and Ferb were able to browse Heinz’s impressive tinkerer collection, and come up with ideas for the newest school projects.

Within a year, Perry had completed his special mission, and the city wiped his record with a grateful thank you for what he’d done. Perry promptly returned to O.W.C.A., but not as an agent. He stood in the back scenes as a human, training new recruits, updating and creating new spy equipment, and improving the training program.

After Major Monogram’s stunning sentencing to life in prison, O.W.C.A. had wiped their hands clean of the man, and bought out a brand new facility, with new training grounds and an updated headquarters that stood stronger than it ever had.

Of course, some of the agents were a bit confused and concerned when the truth of his real identity came out, but Perry took it in stride, staying close to the ones he trusted and doing his best to prove his new character.

Within a few months, both Perry and Heinz were living in Heinz’s apartment, spending each and every day building a relationship that made Perry feel like he’d died and fallen in heaven. Unfortunately, Heinz’s career as an O.W.C.A. operative hadn’t gone too well, so the platypus encouraged the man to return to his love of art.

Despite a few discouraging months of trying to rediscover his muse, Heinz finally found a break through, and began posting his work all over social media to draw attention. He was now deep into the design world, an undiscovered talent that boosted his self-confidence.

However, there was a new budding agent in the family. Apparently, Vanessa had applied for an internship at O.W.C.A. and had been accepted.

Now, just a few weeks after the new year, and Perry and Heinz were cuddled up in bed, trying to keep warm against a drastic snow storm that raged throughout Danville. The world was completely wrapped in white, and howling.

Perry lay with his face snuggled against Heinz’s back, spooning him from behind. Despite his shorter height, Perry enjoyed being the big spoon, wrapping himself around the man. Thankfully, Heinz had no problems with this, and hummed contentedly. They were wrapped in a pile of blankets, soaking up as much warmth as they could.

“I still can’t believe this is real.” Perry murmured, slightly squeezing the man next to him.

Surprised, Heinz shuffled and turned to face his partner. “What do you mean?” He asked confusedly.

“I just.. I always thought that it was too late for happiness. Or that I’d screwed up everything too much for this to be possible.”

Smiling sadly, Heinz leaned forward and kissed Perry on the forehead. “Well, believe it. We’re here.”

Danville howled. Perry listened to the creaking of the apartment walls, sighing to himself. Yes, life had changed quite a bit. He was happier than he had ever been in his life. And it was all thanks to the idiot laying next to him.

“Hey, Perry?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”Perry grinned. He reached over and kissed the doctor in the lips.

“And I love you, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> This story has just been sitting on my mind for a bit, so I hope you guys enjoy. :) You can also find this story at fanfiction.net.


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